Lately I've been feeling like people are kicking me when I'm down, and it just stinks. If it's not people b-ing to me about other people (and doing it very loudly and in a very harassed manner, so I get stressed merely by listening), but also antagonizing other people in my life so I'm stuck in the middle.
An example: my brother is moving in with me ... he got in a fight with my neighbor yesterday by being belligerent and the neighbor (who I've always had decent relations with) threatened to sue me over a cat issue because the argument with my brother "broke our friendship".
Now granted, the neighbor has issues and she doesn't know when to let things go and she blows things way out of proportion and she gets harassed over minor things and ... well, frankly is like me when I'm extremely, dangerously manic. But she's like that all the time and we've gotten along decently because I know when to be quiet and listen, and when to be passive.
My brother ruined all that and now she's pissed and upset and threatening to sue me for something that was out of my control (but, I'd still lose the case; this is fact).
There are other examples but this one is the most recent... now I'm stuck trying to smooth over two people's bruised pride, and worry that my animals, if they happen to go to her yard because she gives them treats all the time and feeds them and such, will be carted off to the ASPCA.
Do other people wish they were dumb and happy? ~ No, not really ... my ups and downs create who I am ... I'd be terribly boring otherwise. ^_~;;
Is this disorder like an OCD but dark and self loathing? ~ It can be, in depression, based on the individual person. OCD is a form of anxiety, and most bipolars tend to get very anxious in either extreme, mania or depression, so OCD tendencies can get stronger then.
Does everything require an analysis? ~ Not always, although you might be inclined to while in certain extremes.
Do bipolar have ptsd type issues? ~ They can. Again, PTSD is linked to anxiety, so emergence into an extreme can make it worse.
Do you feel ADHD? ~ Personally, OMG yes. I have so many symptoms of ADD [ADHD without the hyperactivity>, it's not even funny.
Are you sick a lot? ~ Personally, not really, although I know that a lot of bipolars tend to be. Its the stress that the body have to go through with the weight and flux of the emotions that make it worse and hard to deal with.
For those who were aware of his struggle, my stepfather passed away on Friday. He had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer for a little over seven months. His loss was expected but not quite so suddenly; I spoke with him only this past wednesday, saw him the saturday before that, and he was doing remarkably well.
Thankfully, although his passing his understandably hard, I keep thinking about the last time I spoke with him, and the last thing I can remember him saying is how he was proud of me. I honestly don't think I could have a better last memory.
With my mother passing on in 2010, and this now in 2013, that leaves me quite effectively an orphan; I don't know my real father, and don't rightly care to. I still have my brother and my sister, though, so I won't be entirely alone, I guess.
Thank you for all of your thoughts through his sickness, and beyond.
I totally put my update on the wrong post ... oops...
Weather: Rainy[br>[br>Sleep: sporadic[br>[br>Mood: groggy and depressed[br>[br>Plans:[br>Had some, but now don't want to do anything but go back to bed. Have an appointment today for a memory specialist, and was hoping I could get home tonight and play a few board games with my son.[br>[br>Very drowsy and falling asleep multiple times at work. Would use FMLA to go home, but haven't gotten the approval for the renewal for this month.[br>[br>~ SanView Thread
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