Not WebMD mind you, your word was weirdo. I like to say that I am outstanding in my own field. So are you. Well. It is your field. You trim the grass when it gets too high. You are entitled to lay down in that field and gaze up at the clouds. That is very abstract but true. Your life IS that field and for better and worse, it IS your life. In order for you to feel embarrassed you must see it in your family's eyes. They actually are the embarrassment. They are not worthy of your acceptance unless they can first get past their individual selves. I do not know your story and I do have my own. I am he outcast. Jesus was an outcast and look where it got him. Like it or not, believe it or not, His actions changed the course of human events. Your job is to accept yourself. You are a living, breathing, loving human being as is your collective family members. They (and) you, must first accept yourselves without outwardly accepting the other. At first that (acceptance) is not important. It may come eventually but in it's time; accepting and loving you is tantamount. Nothing else matters, nothing. You wake up every day. You go through the paces, the good and the bad. You end each day with a promise of a better tomorrow. You may not feel that way, but you do. I know for you are still up amongst the daisies. You feed and water your self. You trudge through each day, but you do it. You could, as I did for so very long a time, awaken, sit up in bed, turn and put your feet on the floor frump over and drone out to a blurred nothing just inches from your face and spend the next 6 hours in that position, then flip back into bed and pass out for two or three hours, wake up. Eat what's been prepared for you, frump, flip back in bed sleep. I passed through this endless cycle because I was unable to remove myself from a cruel environment that was slowly killing me. I did not need a gun or knives. I was already dead. Eventually, I got up walked out of the house when everyone was asleep and sought out help.
Find peace with your soul. Seek out God, whatever you conceive Him to be. He is a part of you and stands with you. For your very own sake, seek to first find a love for that soul of yours. It holds a beauty finer then the finest jewels. You are a beautiful person. Find a NAMI support group. Most of your best advice and help comes from peers. Seek others out who are like you and they will give you their souls free of charge. With one another, you will find refuge inside your crumpled body and be made whole.
I read your post and began reading the thread. All sorts and conditions looking from the outside, inward.
1st truth about love is if it is try, you see not the condition, you see the man. The beautiful part in love is that you can sit outside his MI and know objective thinking. The inclusion of his baby brother causes him to be the enabler and he thinks his helping will help his brother. Strive to give your other half, the wisdom, courage and strength for him to understand that his brother must stand on his own or fail. If he fails, it IS his failure not your better half.
Forge through the Bipolar and look at the drink. Your love has created a vessel for him to float in. My father became an alcoholic because he could not contend with my physical conditions. Creates a nice guilt trip for both of us. Separately, silently we forged a relationship. I am a highly evolved spiritual being who knows the pure power of love. My creator sees to that. You must seek your love out to ascertain his love for you. If it is the same live, then the power of that love will be no match.
The brother has to go at all costs. If not it will sully the life of two brothers. Were it not for my love for my father, he would not have cured from alcoholism. My response in my unyielding love is what placed him in the right path.
When your life releases his brother from his grip, he can continue his course towards sobriety. With a handle on that, hi bipolar symptoms will level out and a relationship with each other will prosper.
The system you describe for SSDI qualification no longer exists. The qualification criterium is based on credits. I have included a SSA link to check it out. I worked for 23 years in an industry that does not pay into social security. After retiring from that industry at age 43, I took at sabbatical for two years then worked on and off for 3.5 years when I was forced to stop working from physical and mental issues. 3 years later, I finally applied for SSDI and received it along with my disability pension. I found there was enough credit to receive disability and got it. My disabilities allow me to work only for a couple of hours at a time. It is heart breaking.
My advice is apply only for a partial disability for the benefit's sake and not for income. It allows more flexibility in work criteria and can add credits to your SSI should you need them. The biggest point is to work while you can. The farther you walk from it, the harder it is to step up to it.
Given my history, I find myself (often) doing far more for others than they can (or would) do back. With what I find in that history, I almost question my motive yet dare not, for that my seem judgmental which is against my philosophy. This creates guilt I suppose which is denied in me.
I love this picture for is depicts a creature who is giving a far greater gift than the one he/she is clinging to.
I have had what I would describe as spectral anomalies that I believe where caused by a bad scripted cocktail, i.e. depakote with carbamazepine. The combination which was probably imbalanced as it prompted suicidal tendencies and these anomalies, while awakening a response to a childhood trauma. Response from the medical community was to remove the cocktail then treat the symptoms created from that cocktail. This treatment left me catatonic.
My statement is that, from this thread, came a realization of the same spectral anomalies and (perhaps) vivid (terror) dreams. Upon awakening from these vivid dreams, was resulting evidence of said dreams as being real.
My question: what do you make of the evidences from these vivid dreams?
Have you been to grief counseling. There are normally groups that meet in any given city. Diagnosis can offset a latent response to a traumatic event. I am in grief over a friend's suicide some 45 years prior. I've only come upon this within the past year and it is still unfolding. I have been diagnosed with bipolar and psychitzo affective disorder. The experts do not have a true diagnosis since so many manifestations have occurred in my life from extreme trauma. Try looking into grief counseling as well as the DBT. It may help beyond measure
Been awhile since we crossed each other's posts. Good to hear from you. WEBMD should not even need to entertain this problem. Their site administrators know full well how to block intrusions. Tracking blockers are not utilized for a free flowing site. Adding steps and preventing perpetual logins is a first step towards this. WEBMD just needs to take a recess to address security then come back on line with steps to interact sign ins so attack servers are shifted to Website security and handled accordingly.View Thread
Take from each day, all that it offers you, return to it, nothing less than the very best that you can offer.