I spent the best part of the last 6 weeks away from my home for reasons that are not important here. 6 days of that 6 weeks were spent in psych unit at my local hospital. It was almost all great there and came out so free and with a zillion revelations about myself and my immediate family. Being away from my family is hard for me because they were my greatest source of strength for so many years. Now they have many fears about what they see and there are many fights when we are together.
We have an illness that is not entirely unlike a broken arm. Somebody sees you in a cast and they ask oh my what happened to you. When we act out from our illness of bipolar, people who see it do have a fear at first. I find with many though that if I show my very best that I can sometimes help individuals see through their fears.
In families though, it appears to be different. Almost like bereavement. There are different behaviors and emotions that family members feel and they do not understand in themselves that it is kind of like a mourning process that they are going through.
A family member will see you as they feel you should be (when you are showing your very best) and they like that person perhaps. That is the person they would like you to be. But when all of the other baggage comes out, especially when you need to do some time in a hospital setting, they see someone else and no longer see that person they felt was you. Well this other aspect is also you with a broken arm. Problem is you didn't get "it" by falling off a bicycle. It cannot be fixed with a cast.
Back to the mourning process. I do not know all of the aspects of mourning for I am just now learning how to mourn an I am 56 years old. Anger, resentment, loss come out. Even blame. Eventually, it is hoped that acceptance comes into play and the cycle can move on.
When family members see that YOU get better, then they feel better. Only through there acceptance that you have an owie (as my grandson calls it) that needs help from environment, will they begin to understand that THEY also need to heal from it.
The family does hurt just as much as you do over your owie. Where help is provided is when everyone involved can change their perception of things. What we need to change in ourselves begins with (at least for me) three things. Faith, hope and love. In that order you can win a big fight over embarrassment and shame. There is no shame in bipolar, mostly misconception.
Sorry about the Sermon Candace. I have been doing that a lot over the past few weeks.
hi gang. is there where i can grump it up a little? recently i was in the psych unit at my local hospital for a six day stay-over. the psych-doc their took me off my bipolar meds and and upped my anti-depressant. i have been without them since June and i have been off my anti-depressants for 2 weeks now. currently i am living away from home and am working on a complete renewal. so far so good but i do not have a psych-doc on the outside and my counselor wants be to get a more insurance before i can see him again. i am on medicare and they cover only about 50% in these parts. so life has been a bit of a gambit for me lately. but i am for some reason getting healthier. go figure. just wondering how you all are doing and glad to be back. at this point i think i can be around more often than not. couple of days a week i seem to have some free time on my hands so here i am. i am going to post this on the regular board as well.
hi everyone i do not hesitate to tell people that i have bipolar although, i am not so sure that i do at this point. i have been diagnosed with bipolar for more than twenty years and i have no qualms about it.
Skype I have everything except my abilify switching my primidone (mysoline) from morning to evening to go along with my mirapex. that should make a nice sleeping pill. Hopefully my days will be better tooView Thread
hi kids it me the broken intermittent wiper blade. dibbits . been off my medicines (abilify, prozac, buproprion, ) later mysoline. yesterday i my mysoline stopped haven't been on the abilify, prozac or buproprion since june. though the month i just kept on getting nastier. not a very good time to get support around my house. don't want to go into the particulars. i almost lost me a home an my family. well i got some early money and used it yo get some of my meds. then my mysoline ran out. wow. don't ever run out of phenylbarbital if you have it in any of your med profiles. i had a fun little trip to the ER on Sunday which is by far my most infamous night to go to the ER. anybody out there have a special night that they go to the hospital? lol guess not. anyway. i went with symptoms of pain even a stretchy pain. also scratching and fussiness along with a sensation that someone poured warm paint inside the right side of my head. occasionally, these symptoms travelled down my arm. the kicker was when i felt things crawling around inside. scarabs anyone. well it was pretty scary for me since my son didn't want to take me to the hospital. his sister finally convinced him and we went. turned out to be a less eventful evening at the ER than expected. can anyone guess what was going on? oh yea, i had a really nasty stiff neck. involved my SSRI's they were all jaberwocki (there's a word) couple of ativan and i was a little bit better. just need to catchup on another script. any body have any stories as to running out of meds.
hi wendy i either have my son's car or my daughter's car to depend on transportation. everything i am close to is basically 15 -20 miles away. i can get to appointments in the beginning of the month but have trouble getting to everyone but my PCP after the 15th of the month. fortunately i have a pain clinic that i go to but they are like anything else - a band aid. if you have not received a call from the pain clinic in a week's time, try calling them or getting back to your doctor's office to see what the hold up is. if the clinic has any trouble getting through to you, they will not persist. you must take the ball hand run with it. hope you can get your car troubles fixed. most likely it is an oil leak. that can be from too much pressure on the brake. if you can have it serviced, look into the brake system 1st.
the people on this board understand the best. my family has no comprehension of my bipolar at all. i have been married for twenty(almost) three years and they do not have any comprehension. my brother and my cousins don't even bother to fathom it. it is beyond them of course i cannot speak for my one cousin who has two children who are bipolar. for my brother though, it is my problem. my situation. my only problem with this board is that i have no consistent way of getting to it. my daughter has internet (for now) i do not. i suppose i could go to the public library and sit and wait for a computer to become free. my phone gets internet but i cannot edit the boards from it. wish webmd would get their act together and make that a reality, it would be so much nicer.
is it friday already? well no plans for this one just to get back home. watch the granson tomorrow. 80's today looking for some appointments next week for my back. need some therapy on my neck, shoulder and back. also - fell two weeks ago, still looking for an appointment next friday to look at my ankle. alright i am a mess i admit it. been falling alot lately. dont know why. will get back again when i can.
working on prescription help for my wife. she is un insured this month. Lots of run around on that one. weather: gorgeous for VT mood: well i am not having a BP day if that is good considering i am without my BP and depression meds. also without a couple of others so i am improvising.\\
said i would continue a discussion on another board so here am i. i am currently permanently disabled with back issues and of course BP. my wife is disabled with FMS. she is currently NOT on disability because i have too much income. my taxable income is about $5600.00 per year. problem is that i have non-taxable income that makes my income exceed $30,000. this means that i pay her health insurance, then i pay for her co-pays on her meds which are exorbitant. not to mention the co-pays on the doctor visits. get past that and pay utilities and taxes and there just is no more. oh did i mention that my wife is on home O2? he he! oh well. i've grumped for now. my wife does not want to fight for her ssdi which could add another pittance per month but at least it would help. so why am i here today? just to gripe and ask what can be done to help me get my wife to fight for her ssdi? i believe the average individual gets denied 2 or 3 times before they are successful. she has just been too down and out lately. good news is she is perking up a little. here diabetes is in more control than it was bad news is that she had a serious problem with sodium. with our lack of income, it is hard to come up with a good nutritional diet for her. any ideas?View Thread