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Borderline Personality Disorder Exchange

Welcome to the Borderline Personality Exchange. Meet others with the same ... more

Announcements

Do you have Borderline Personality Disorder? This new Exchange has been developed so we can encourage each other, share tips to get through those down days, and/or just vent.

Discussions

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Upset and needing to vent

I hate my life. I can't control the rage I feel inside. I need to vent but I have no outlet. I just want hit...

Posted by AZ330

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Upset and needing to vent I hate my life. I can't control the rage I feel inside. I need to vent but I have no outlet. I just want hit...

Mary/LLT

after some consideration I got into a group DBT class.... I have only went to one class. I just sat there and...

Posted by AZ330

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Mary/LLT after some consideration I got into a group DBT class.... I have only went to one class. I just sat there and...

I think that every man I've ever got involved wit...

cheating on me even if they really was not or if I did not have any proof of them doing so I'm in love with...

Posted by moonflower6

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:I think that every man I've ever got involved with is.......... cheating on me even if they really was not or if I did not have any proof of them doing so I'm in love with...

Noticing BPD signs?

Hello, I'm concerned with my mental health, and I don't know what it could be. People online have been...

Posted by NicoleAlysia

Hello, I'm concerned with my mental health, and I don't know what it could be. People online have been considering me having BPD, but I'm not over 18. It still could be a possibility. I asked on Yahoo answers, and this one girl said that my situation is normal. I don't think it's normal, at all.

I get mad over every single thing. I have anger issues and I know I do, it runs in my family. Bipolar disorder also runs in my family and I could take that into consideration, but I feel like my situation is more extreme than that. There are multiple situations where it just makes me wonder... I'm not in the standards of the norm in this society, and it worries me, honestly.
[br>One of my glitches is that I like making people feel sad, and it amuses me. I do show sadistic behavior and people have pointed it out to me. I like seeing people hurt. I'm not saying that I'm psychotic, I'm still a normal(?) thirteen year old girl. I have crushes, I like boys, I have many friends that I love, but I just think something's off about me. [br>[br>I have minor childhood neglection issues, but it isn't a serious thing, it was very very mild, to the point that no one ever noticed. I don't show any symptoms of it, other than doing reckless things to get attention.[br>[br>I guess to my jealousy, I have this disturbing yearn to hurt little kids. They piss me off. I don't know why, but seeing them cry amuses me. I like it. I'll say to people "Oh I do it because little kids crying is so cute!". No, it's not like that, I like seeing pain from them. It's not just them though, I like seeing it from everyone. [br>[br>It's another thing that I have self-destructive behavior almost everyday (it's incredible when I'm PMSing and such). I constantly have thoughts that make me feel like I'm a burden to this world. Thoughts like "Why the hell are you even here? Do you seriously think people care about you? What a joke! You'd be better off just dying, and you know who would care? No one!" Those are some thoughts that I think of almost all the time. Yesterday I burnt my hand with my hair straightener. I'm lucky it doesn't show any marks on my palms (where I burned) and it felt horrible, but I was laughing like a maniac![br>[br>I feel as if I'm an outsider to everyone. With my family, I joked to my brother and said that I would run away, he muttered "...good." I don't know if you would understand, but I felt like absolute crap. He annoys me. I mean everyone annoys me, but I just can't help it. [br>[br>I genuinely am this nice, obnoxious, outgoing, smart and funny girl, but no one would really understand how twisted I actually am. I have moments when I'll just be basking in the blue sky thinking, "Wow, this day is absolutely beautiful!" and if someone does one thing that pisses me off, I get these random disturbing thoughts of, "Why don't you just burn in a goddamn fire. I hope you die right now, at this second!" And it gets into details, but I surely don't want to disturb anyone.[br>[br>Um, on WebMD, I was looking at symptoms of BPD, and it said that people with it also show ADHD behavior, but I have ADD not ADHD. I mean I do show a bit signs of ADHD, but not enough for it to be classified as ADHD.[br>[br>In the end, I resorted to the possibilities of have BPD. I mean if I do fit the standards, I don't know what to tell my parents. They'll just think I'm crazy and then I'll just have another episode in my mind! I don't know how I would be able to tell them without them thinking I'm insane, but I just want to check with other opinions before I do anything drastic.View Thread

Posted by NicoleAlysia

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Noticing BPD signs? Hello, I'm concerned with my mental health, and I don't know what it could be. People online have been...

Emotional Support Animals

How do I go about getting a "presciption" for my cat to be my ESA? I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 16, and...

Posted by MsKrys26

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Emotional Support Animals How do I go about getting a "presciption" for my cat to be my ESA? I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 16, and...

Suffering with Borderline- Pray to god and cling t...

I=borderline personality disorder! was diagnosed a year ago because legally they arent supposed to diagnose...

Posted by An_243417

Take the Poll

why is life so dificult?

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Suffering with Borderline- Pray to god and cling to him!!!! I=borderline personality disorder! was diagnosed a year ago because legally they arent supposed to diagnose...

borderline personality disorder diagnosis

Hi, my name is Mari and was just diagnosed with BPD. My main issue is that I am a mental health /addictions...

Posted by kittencatt

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:borderline personality disorder diagnosis Hi, my name is Mari and was just diagnosed with BPD. My main issue is that I am a mental health /addictions...

confused and need some insight

I am 36 years old, i have been diagnosed with ADD,Anxiety and OCD. here is my delema. before i knew what was...

Posted by 80sangel

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:confused and need some insight I am 36 years old, i have been diagnosed with ADD,Anxiety and OCD. here is my delema. before i knew what was...

New and needing some info

Good Evening everyone, I have recently been diagnosed with boarderline personality disorder along with other...

Posted by AZ330

10 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:New and needing some info Good Evening everyone, I have recently been diagnosed with boarderline personality disorder along with other...

Hurting

Apparently, one of the other boards I post on is in such an uproar -- multiple people in crisis,...

Posted by lovely_lemon_tree

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Hurting Apparently, one of the other boards I post on is in such an uproar -- multiple people in crisis,...

All who have not found answers

I may be speaking out-of-turn here (and Mary, even though I know you're taking some time off, I hope...

Posted by lovely_lemon_tree

I may be speaking out-of-turn here (and Mary, even though I know you're taking some time off, I hope I'm not stepping on your toes) -- but I just want to say that

1.) This is a board aimed at helping each other. Diagnosing people, even those most dear to us, is not something we do. It seems like all the posts on this board are simply people coming to drop in and ask if what their relative/friend has is BPD. We're not professionals, we cannot diagnose people or recommend doctors, medications or treatments.

2.) We share our experiences, good and bad, here. Though I cannot moderate this board (again, Mary, is that your challenge?), I'd like to say that we need to let each other know if a post is triggering (meaning that if someone who is in a vulnerable spot at the moment reads it, the post may further upset them). I have read some doozies out there and although I'm in a good enough place to handle them, there are those who cannot. Please mark your post "TRIGGER" or "MAY TRIGGER" in the subject line. As an additional nod to keeping others safe, please put something innocuous in the first couple lines of your post, as they are displayed on the board. (I find that song lyrics work well.)

3.) Mary, who created this exchange for us to have a place to come and feel safe, is currently taking a break and attending to personal issues. Let's be kind and not make this any more difficult on her than necessary. Again, because this is her creation, I suspect that she is the moderator on this board. While she is away we're going to have to "behave" ourselves.

4.) Mary, this is for you: I think we need to created a general "what is BPD" FAQ -- frequently asked questions -- and keep it around on someone's computer (preferably more than one someone's) to post when people ask what this disorder is all about. It must be exhausting to continually answer the same thing over and over, and if that is part of what contributed to your decision to take a break, I can certainly understand that.

5.) Everybody is welcome to contribute to the above-mentioned FAQ. Ideally, I would like to created a document that is both clinical and experiential -- meaning that along with the listing of symptoms and what they can mean in a person's life, we would have stories about how those symptoms manifest themselves. I would really enjoy putting together something for everyone's approval, acceptance, and even enjoyment. Contributions are absolutely not required to have names, though if people want to submit their user names, that is also fine.

So, if anyone's out there, what do we think? I think that this place needs some organization and poor Mary can't do it all on her own. It being about a month since anyone posted besides me (on a semi-regular basis), I'm not sure anyone out there is going to reply to this. But if you're lurking, please chime in.View Thread

Posted by lovely_lemon_tree

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:All who have not found answers I may be speaking out-of-turn here (and Mary, even though I know you're taking some time off, I hope...

multiple problems

about 2 months ago i was diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, borderline...

Posted by Roughneckswife

7 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:multiple problems about 2 months ago i was diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, borderline...

Resurrection

Hello, all. I see that this community has kind of "died out" so I'm going to try and get it started...

Posted by lovely_lemon_tree

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Resurrection Hello, all. I see that this community has kind of "died out" so I'm going to try and get it started...

borderline personality or bi polar?

these 2 are very similar its hard to tell which one my sister is i know it runs in the family of a...

Posted by myheadhurtstomuch

these 2 are very similar its hard to tell which one my sister is i know it runs in the family of a condition they always said it was bipolar but now im not sure now reading that these 2 are very similar, my dad was is taking zyprexa and 2 other medicine for bipolar and my sister has been on and off medicines we are trying to figure out what they have if the hopspital could have been wrong about bipolar if it could be bpd.. 1st of all they get mad very fast and it can be over the most stupid things even if someone spilled something on accident that gripe,they complain about everything 1 minute they can be laughing and playing then 1 wrong thing to trigger them they fly off the handle that fast yelling screaming,they worry about everything and never get involved with get togethers or friends like they have no life because insecurity problems worried that someone is talking bad about them or just fills out of place and my sister also gets so jealous fast her relationships are always ending because she always argues and never trust them her relationship now is falling apart again they argue everyday she gets mad about anything he does she gets mad and starts a fight when it shows a sexy girl on t.v even she doesnt like him going anywhere she gets jealous if another girl talks to him so she has a bad jealousy problem she said when she gets infront of people she gets nervous tongue tied like anxiety so she doesnt have any friends and her boyfriends friends invite them over if theres women there she argues the hole time why you looking at her ect... so what does this sound like to you bi polar or borderline personality the jealousy the getting mad over everything being nice 1 minute then flying off the handle just by 1 stupid thing shes very hyperactive too but the jealousy the anger, contolling,its like her mind never shuts down always thinking to much and usually the worst she has 3 daughters and needs this under control theres never peace in the home always argueing its almost like her brain is calm for a min then if someone says or does something that makes her mad she blows up and keeps repeating herself over and over about the same thing shes amost 40 years old its getting worse not better with age she does admit to having a problem and starts crying saying she hates being this way that she tired of being mean and unhappy and so jealous and doing and saying stupid things to hurt people this has gone on since a teenager and getting worse she needs a stable life for her and her daughters but ruins all relationships with the jealousy anger controlling and acusing she does!what does this sound like to you??View Thread

Posted by myheadhurtstomuch

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:borderline personality or bi polar? these 2 are very similar its hard to tell which one my sister is i know it runs in the family of a...

What's wrong with me?

I just woke up in a state of panic. I am angry at the world and my world feels so negative. I know part of...

Posted by Anon_61744

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:What's wrong with me? I just woke up in a state of panic. I am angry at the world and my world feels so negative. I know part of...

i have questions...help?

my husband just opened up and admitted that he feels like he has like 3 or 4 different "people" in his head....

Posted by An_242411

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:i have questions...help? my husband just opened up and admitted that he feels like he has like 3 or 4 different "people" in his head....

I am so depressed, I need real help

I have border line personality, ptsd, and cronic depression. Sorry bad speller. I am going through a...

Posted by froggy197041

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:I am so depressed, I need real help I have border line personality, ptsd, and cronic depression. Sorry bad speller. I am going through a...

Schizophrenia Diagnosis

Hi. I was looking to see if anyone here could help me with issues that I have been having. Recently, things...

Posted by An_242406

Hi. I was looking to see if anyone here could help me with issues that I have been having. Recently, things have been getting pretty hectic around my house. I still do not know whats really going on and Im absolutely sure that my "delusions" are fueled by truth. Its getting really hard to keep up with affording this medication. Just when things seem to be getting better things take a turn for the worst. In the past year the police have been to my house four times for domestic disturbances that were a result of my behavior as I'm running out of medication. They laugh at me when they come and they call me Peter Pan. I really dont like it. Three of the four times they came I was sent to a mental hospital where I was stabilized and sent home. The last time they came i tried to explain to them exactly what they do to me once I arrive. I basically lose all of my rights as a human when they 10-13 me. They took me to jail and when I requested my medication they never gave it to me. Instead they sent me to the infirmary where was stripped of my clothes and placed in a semen stained cell wearing only a turtle suit in close observation where a naked chinese man named chopsticks got thrown in with me. I gave him my milk so he would leave me alone, but he pisssed off the guards and they took him to another cell where they beat him. I heard everything. I fear that they have it out for me. Lately I've been hiding out in my room where I've blocked off the vents and blocked the door to prevent them from hurting me. i dont fee safe anywhere. Cheap medication gave me seizures, it was perphenazine. I cant really keep a job for long before stuff happens. I try to drink to self medicate but I dont want to be dependent on alcohol again. I need to talk to a psychiatrist but I cant because he kept leaving the room during my appt and kept asking me to talk with my mother. He asked me three times and each time i told him no. After he left the room also for the third time I decided to go outside for a cigarette and when i came back in my mother wasn't in the waiting room anymore. He was discussing my medical information with her. Im 25 and the only reason she was there was because I didnt have car insurance as i was just getting out of the hospital. I yelled at him and told him that wasnt happy about him violatimng my patient rights and havent seen a doctor since. Now my condition is deteriorating and the medication will surely run out once again alo ng. I know something terrible is going to happen soon. I just know it. They talk about on the news about people that were in situations and whether or not it could have been Prevented. They talk about red flags and warning signs. I made a red flag its hanging in my room. RED FLAG!! Theres another one. How do I help myself if I cant trust anyone anymore. Now i've got all these hospital bills and these ppeople who are here to "protect and serve" . They stand there and laugh at me and smirk, and call me peter. The only thing they served me was a bologna sandwich. What should I do? I would never harm anyone or myself, but what decision am I to make when they back me into a corner. I can only run so far to avoid confrontation. I closed off the vents because when I was completely out of medication I could here whispers and their radios. Sometimes its impossible to ignore. . I know alot of this sounds illogical, but I feel like their taunting me, if they are there. I'll be sleeping at night and they will rip the bedsheets off me while im laying down. How am I supposed to ignore that. I dont know who it is. It doesnt make any sense. I can hear footsteps in the attic and when I've gone jup there I have found empty snacks and slim jim wrappers. When Im on my medication, with the correct dose, I just accept it. I feel like when I take my medication I am surrendering. I know how crazy this all sounds, but this is whats happening to me. Somenone please help before its too late . . .View Thread

Posted byAn_242406

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Schizophrenia Diagnosis Hi. I was looking to see if anyone here could help me with issues that I have been having. Recently, things...

Is there a cure?

I was diagnosed with BPD nine years ago. I have been on countless Meds., especially mood stabilizers, have...

Posted by Anon_61744

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Is there a cure? I was diagnosed with BPD nine years ago. I have been on countless Meds., especially mood stabilizers, have...

Still looking for a therapist in Miami .......

I NEED A THERAPIST IN THE MIAMI AREA THAT WORKS WITH BORDERLINE PATIENTS NO LUCK WITH MY ONLINE I NEED TO STOP...

Posted by Snow786

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Still looking for a therapist in Miami ....... I NEED A THERAPIST IN THE MIAMI AREA THAT WORKS WITH BORDERLINE PATIENTS NO LUCK WITH MY ONLINE I NEED TO STOP...

Mary Sings

I noticed below you talk about depersonalization. Can you explain that to me? Before i came to therapy I...

Posted by jankearney123

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Mary Sings I noticed below you talk about depersonalization. Can you explain that to me? Before i came to therapy I...

HELP

I can't seem to reply on the other boards, Is it possible to be locked out of one and still be able to post on...

Posted by nopoin

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:HELP I can't seem to reply on the other boards, Is it possible to be locked out of one and still be able to post on...

I NEED A THERAPIST

I'm new to this I've been to 3 therapist and I know I have BPD but they just cant seem to get it...My...

Posted by Snow786

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:I NEED A THERAPIST I'm new to this I've been to 3 therapist and I know I have BPD but they just cant seem to get it...My...

I NEED A THERAPIST

I'm new to this I've been to 3 therapist and I know I have BPD but they just cant seem to get it...My...

Posted by Snow786

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:I NEED A THERAPIST I'm new to this I've been to 3 therapist and I know I have BPD but they just cant seem to get it...My...

may have this dx help?!TRIGGER

I'm paranoid a lot and only know because of others telling me stuff. and i sh a lot. most i've ever gone...

Posted by jankearney123

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:may have this dx help?!TRIGGER I'm paranoid a lot and only know because of others telling me stuff. and i sh a lot. most i've ever gone...

may have this dx help?!TRIGGER

I'm paranoid a lot and only know because of others telling me stuff. and i sh a lot. most i've ever gone...

Posted by jankearney123

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:may have this dx help?!TRIGGER I'm paranoid a lot and only know because of others telling me stuff. and i sh a lot. most i've ever gone...

Home again

I got home from the psych hospital yesterday. I spent two weeks there and I am now on a new depression med. I...

I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.

Posted by MarySings

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Home again I got home from the psych hospital yesterday. I spent two weeks there and I am now on a new depression med. I...

Latest diagnosis bpd

had a traumatic childhood (sexual, emotional, and physical) abuse. but my problems came out in various ways...

Posted by An_241522

had a traumatic childhood (sexual, emotional, and physical) abuse. but my problems came out in various ways as a kid, for example i wouldn't pay attention in class or i acted out in class. that was until i changed schools. i became withdrawn but yet outgoing so no one detected anything. When i got in high school i started getting depressed and stuff so i talked to people, then i started cutting my wrists and legs. at first no one noticed but then i started with the suicide threats and not coming home from work on time. i was put on meds and diagnosised with depression. Then i became bipolar and depressed. i was hospitalized 3 times in my senior year of high school. i was fine from then until i turned 24yrs old when in the winter the depression hit real hard for some reason and i ended up back in the hospital for overdosing and cutting. That year i became a nurse and obtained a job and loved it. i worked long hard hours and the following winter i was back in the hospital for overdosing with the actual intent to die. i was hospitalized once every month from february until august this year for one reason or another. i was diagnosised with bpd, pmdd, depression, bipolar, migraines and who knows what else. in the spring they had me on so many meds i couldn't walk and would fall on the sidewalk for no reason. now i've been hospital free since august however i keep up with a shrink and therapist who i trust very much. i still have the days when i want to die but i think of my half siblings and how much i love them and i wouldn't want my dad to have to explain to them what happened to me. they already hated seeing me in the hospital and didn't understand what i did to stay there. i hate winter bc of the lack of light but i'm trying my best to keep moving in the right direction and stay out of the hospital. i have myself another nursing job (not in my field of choice but its a job and has me feeling useful). The key to suceeding is taking one day at a time, and looking on the brighter side of everything, even if life just threw you a curveball and hit you in the nuts. i have to find joy in the simple mundane stupid things of life or i would not make it through the day. and yes i'm in my late 20's and still sleep with a stuffed animal and security blanket but that is what helps keep me sane and i will continue to do so until i feel i do not need them.View Thread

Posted byAn_241522

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Latest diagnosis bpd had a traumatic childhood (sexual, emotional, and physical) abuse. but my problems came out in various ways...

Hmmm

Idk what I should write.It seems everyone writes their story? So here goes mine ^_^. I'm 22 years old,...

Posted by An_241518

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Hmmm Idk what I should write.It seems everyone writes their story? So here goes mine ^_^. I'm 22 years old,...

Meds, and the seasons.

I have multiple diagnosies, of BPD, bipolar NOS, and some other little funky things that aren't very...

Posted by godlim

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Meds, and the seasons. I have multiple diagnosies, of BPD, bipolar NOS, and some other little funky things that aren't very...

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