I am searching for answers but overwhelmed with questions right now. I have been in therapy and on disability for 12 years, therapy longer than that. I feel like I have not made much progress. I see people I met online who have moved on and I'm still here. I have little support in real life, my mom is 93 and understands nothing and my son is 21 and doesn't really care. I do have a precious little chihuahua that is about all I live for right now. I have a lot of stuff going on, mental like depression and anxiety and physical like diabetes, IBS, and a host of other small things. I recently went back to old journals i had locked up and old therapist's reports and that's what lead me to this part of the site. She originally said I had borderline personality disorder, but never really explained it or what to do about it. So I thought maybe coming here and posting would help me learn and get me on the right track finally.View Thread
I'm so confused now. I went back to the old reports to read and make sure I understood what it said. Originally in 98 she said this: Anxiety disorder with panic attacks; Dysthymic disorder; schizoaffective disorder; post-traumatic stress disorder, delayed onset; and paranoid tendencies. Ok then in 02 she wrote in her report this: Major depression with psychotic features and frequent suicidal ideation, superimposed on Dysthymic disorder; Generalized anxiety disorder with panic episodes; post-traumatic stress disorder, severe, delayed onset; and Mixed personality disorder with borderline and paranoid characteristics, severe. So now I have no idea what I am or where I belong. I have had experiences in the past year that make me think I'm worse. I was going to paranormal sites to try to explain what I thought could be spirits, but now I think, although I believe some experience this, I don't think I am. If I was seeing or hearing the things I think, my dogs who are in the room with me would be reacting too. This leads me to believe it's all in my head and something I didn't have before.View Thread
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