Hey everyone.. Hope you are all doing well, I didn't post or comment in a while and I wanted to come back to say thank you and goodbye. You guys rock!! After I was diagnosed I simply needed people to talk to and I got that here. Over the past few months I've done lots of reading, I joined an online DBT support group and got the opportunity to meet amazing people who are struggling with similar issues. I am probably going to add a second weekly therapy session and I'm also looking into a psycho playback group. I told three friends and a cousin of mine and I'm happy I did, I got support and love from all of them (all though they don't live in my city and I am basically on my one on a day to day basis, it's still comforting). I made a great deal of progress over the last few months and I feel that I got all this community can offer at this point , I also hope that I contributed a little from my one. I know I'm on the step of an interesting and painful journey, but I am actually quite excited. I really believe that I could have a promising future one day. It's a daily struggle and I'm sure I'll have my down moments but I think that the outcome will be good. I have an account on experience project under the name storm 224. (Btw U guys were right it is too messy and it's kinda hard to track who's who. I check in there from time to time and if anyone would be interested I would be glad to exchange emails. Joy, hope to hear from u...) I want to thank you all, for being there for me and offering your support, love and comfort. Marry, I feel I should have a special sentence just for you .Your story is truly an inspiration for us all. From the little I got to know you I could say, that despite your horrible childhood you are a loving and caring human been. I am grateful for the advice, support and tips. Continue to be a source of comfort for the rest of us.
I learned that women don't want to hear solutions.. But joy..have u thought bout a dog sitter? Just be careful. My grandmother gave her dog to a dog sitter couple weeks ago when she went on vacation, when she returned the women told her the dog escaped. Since her story doesn't make sense, my grandma thinks she sold her.And good luck with the groups..wish i could join a real DBT group!! View Thread
Thnx dem I am real lucky to be part of this community..on another note.. I think I had the "if u don't get your act together real soon dude ull get fired" talk with my boss today. he didn't actually say it but he did say that although I am highly appreciated both by employees as well as the owners of the company, I didn't prove myself.( he included himself, his new and since he started we lost 2 clients and didn't get any new ones) he said it cannot continue and that we have to get something real soon. It was a friendly talk and I didn't get upset, mostly since I know he's right. The problem is that I feel so bad about myself and have absolutely no confidence. I think going to therapy and working on myself was great but it also caused me to drop my acting face. in the past I would go talk to strangers trying to sell whatever it is I was selling( wasn't always easy, but I would put on my acting face and go out there)today I can't pick up the phone to call potential clients ,start talking to a girl on the bus or just have the ability to appreciate myself. I want to be real and connected to myself, but part of life and especially marketing is about faking it sometimes, being confident when you're not and I just can't pull it off. I think I have around a month to try to make it work..if anyone has any idea 2 help me out..I'm desperate, I am not crazy about my job, but I really need to hold on to it 4 now..
Wish I had more than just sympathy and understanding to offer. As dem wrote we all here care and try 2 be there for each other. Although u might think this is "just a website", not true! Like I wrote ,the support I got here helped me to decided not to drink during the weekend(unfortunately got totally wasted at the wedding last night but I'll save it for another post) just remember we care about u"026. View Thread
1. thnx marry..Today at therapy we analyzed that I want to drink in order to forget who I am and what my name is .my therapist explained that it has to do withidentitydisturbance. He told me he's not goanna tell me not to drink so I won't hurt myself or even kill myself just as someone who really cares about me. He's telling me as a therapist that its part of the process I'm going through, I don't want 2 shut it out by drinking my brains out.. and that website is kind of messy, but maybe as I wrote we can get people to become part of our community"026
Over the years I always had friends. I was in such denial that I convicted myself there was nothing wrong with me. I stopped seeing my shrink and blamed all my problems on external factors, although deep down I knew that something was just wrong, I was a convincing actor. When it came to relationships it was a whole different ball game. Last November, after a couple months of serious therapy, I met a special girl and our relationship (with its ups and downs) lasted half a year. Until that point I was basically a robot, I didn't show feelings. The feelings I did reveal were ones of anger and hate, I couldn't handle the more gentle feelings. my ex used to always complain how I don't talk; I don't tell her what I feel. She tried so hard to get me to talk, to be real, but I just couldn't do it. I also think that when you hate yourself so much, it's hard for someone else to love you or for you to love them... To answer the question: I think that after enough therapy and hard work, I believe it is possible. we would have to be truly honest to ourselves and our spouse and continue to work very hard, but I think even BPD's can be happy one day"026 if I didn't ruin it with my ex or if I was diagnosed a few months earlier (I broke up with her, I convinced myself I hated her,) we would probably still be together and things would've been much easier. At the same time I think that pain is part of growth and is the reason I made so much progress over the past few months( although I know I have a very very long way to go). Didn't mean 2 tell my life story, hope it was helpful.. View Thread