In 2010 I was diagnosed with OCD and eventually after living with it I found that I have B.P.D. Borderline Personality Disorder. I come from an emotionally/Physically abusive childhood and I've traced it back to that. My main question is that I remember one time when I was five years old I had told my mom that I hated her. My father grabbed me by my arm and picked me up while I was in my underwear and told me to "get out and stay out. This isn't your home if you don't love her." Is that possibly the catalyst of all my problems and feelings? I feel allota of pain coming from that memory and it fits in with my anxious state. BPD is a form of PTSD or something. Am I reliving the trauma? I read an article and this excerpt sounds like me: "A child is intuitively aware of his dependence on an external source for his emotional, circumstantial, and physical well-being. He perceives himself as limited in his capacity to deal with real-life obligations and responsibility and really doesn't want it anyway. All he really wants is superficial responsibility, the kind that is fun and provides personal gratification but has no real consequences; leave the real stuff to the adults. He wants his life to be in the realm of fantasy and play.[br>[br>If a child is thrust into what he perceives as real-life/adult responsibility and emotional/psychological independence to soon (the emotional abandonment or betrayal scenario), all his limited characteristics become evident and amplified. He feels weak, insecure, inferior, angry, unhappy, inadequate, distrustful, etc; all the real capacity of a emotionally hurt child. As this child matures, especially through adolescence, he probably wont develop healthy and mature replacements of confidence and growth beyond his childish limitations. Instead, as a substitute, he builds a fortress, an outward facade/image which gives the appearance of competence and security.[br>[br>As he grows, he can sense his facade and that not much inside himself seems real; he therefore begins to feel very empty and hollow, even more so than a normal teenager does. This is an early and recurring sign that his intellect and his emotions are way out of sync. His conscious intellect is aware that something is wrong but he can't control or identify exactly what it is; and, unfortunately for the BPD, wont get any better." how do I fix this. My father would tell me you need to get your head right your trapped in your mind. Is that old school thinking a legit way to solve my problems? What do I do??!! View Thread
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