I am in relationship with a man who I firmly believe has BPD/OCD, basing my opinion on his symptoms and behavior patterns ~ My question is this: Is it common for this disorder to become physically dangerous when in an intimate relationship with someone w/ BPD?
I noticed early on that he was quick to anger but he seemed to recover quite quickly and never became violent, however last weekend there was another incidence while driving down the road where he was pretty much unable to control himself any longer, and only because I needed a few minutes to process a particular conversation we'd had...
I don't like to raise my voice at all, nor argue or fight, so I just wanted/needed to have a few moments to process... however he wanted me to Kiss him right then, (which I calmly said "no, I don't feel like it right now") and apparently he felt that he'd lost control of the situation, so he began saying crazy, stupid things, mean things, very immature things like, "maybe you should just go back to your ex-boyfriend!" (etc.. when my ex-boyfriends had never been talked about) ~ This guy is 50 years old!
He has many wonderful qualities, this is why I fell in love with him, however I survived/escaped one obsessive/abusive relationship when I was much younger, and I do not wish to repeat the same mistake.
I guess I'm wondering if people with BPD tend to become physically violent within their relationships ~ it would seem like a natural progression... (this guy is very muscular and much larger than me, so if he WAS to become physical with me, it would not end well, I'm sure)