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** may cause triggers**
I am a 39 yr old mother, of two amazing teen daughters and one very active 4 yr old little boy.
My mental health journey started about 14 yrs ago, After getting out of a very abusive marriage, where I was physically, and sexually, and verbally violated for 5 yrs I rushed into another bad marriage, trying to fix my marriage, I started theraphy becuase I was told I had anger issues. At that point I was dx'ed with bi polar disorder, it mostly fit with the things that were going on at the time. After working with my theraphist for a few monthes i started having flashbacks, and body memories of a earlier trauma, from age 2 to around 6 my older brother had sexually molested me.
From that point I worked hard on putting missing pieces of my childhood together. After I ended that marriage, I moved again and met a amazing man who I also quickly married, soon after that my father passed, with his passing I crashed very hard, I attempted suicide multible times, I began cutting and other self harm things. I found a great theraphist who helped me more than I can ever say.
I was inpatient hospitalized more than 10 times in the 8 yrs I was married to him. Finally at a wonderful treatment center for trauma survivors ( Two Rivers in Kansas city , Mo) I was finally dx'ed with Borderline personality disorder, and while this sounds crazy,, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Everything finally clicked and made sense there were reasons I acted out the way I did and names for the extreme emotional roller coasters I put myself and my family on.
I have continued treatment ever since, with a few road blocks along the way, I totally stopped treatment, and medications for a yr, ya I basically threw a temper tamtrum, and I almost lost my life over it, and for the past 4 yrs have struggled with very limited mental health resources in my community.
So i am finally back in a place that I feel I can reach out and help others and reach out for the support I need too.