I was abandoned at the age of 2 by my mother and I never knew my father. I was raised by multiple family members until I graduated high school. I think I have BPD as a result of this trauma, and live in constant fear of abandonment. I met a girl I fell in love with 6 and a half years ago but overbearing fear of abandonment and jealousy have caused a serious rift in our relationship. Just Saturday, we had a huge fight in which I implied she would never see me again, this was all in anger. I never meant it. She has been crying nonstop for the past few days and won't take my calls. She said she needed time and I am doing my best to give her what she requested.
I want to get better but I am afraid of losing her before I can get the help I need. I know what's wrong and I know how to fix it, I just need to find the right doctor and get to work. With someone as myself, willing and ready to take the steps necessary to heal, what is the process? How does it work?
I have a supportive extended family but at this point I'm assuming that I have lost the love of my life. It makes the process so much harder, especially at Christmas, but I want to get better. I don't want to hurt her because of my jealousy and inability to trust anymore. Advice? Comments?View Thread
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