Borderline Personality Disorder Exchange
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I hear the classic "egomaniac with an inferiority complex" in your writing. I have found that with borderline disorder I am constantly trying to prove that I am loveable. I garner my self worth by how much people use me. I am working on letting the world turn without me and I am concentrating on how to get my own house in order.View Thread

I was there not too long ago I ended up cutting myself and ended up in the hospital.
I was drinking a lot thinking that I was making myself feel better until I realized that I have a severe mental illness that cannot be treated if I kept drinking. It was that realization that helped me quit drinking and go to a partial care program. I am blessed that I am on ssi and can afford to spend my days working on my illness. I hope that I will be able to learn enough and change my thinking enough to be able to maintain with just counseling.
When I was in the pit of dispair I asked God for help but my mood was so black I couldn't see where he was helping me. I was praying with one thought and telling myself that it was a waste of time with the next thought. I just thank God that I was diagnosed and treated. I now take meds for bi polar and depression. I was missing chemicals that I needed. Since I have been on the meds I don't get so low. It is not easy dealing with the emotions that are out of control but I am still fighting. I know that I learn a little more every day and it does get easier.
I hope this helps you.View Thread

I have accepted that this disorder has run my whole life and I am really miserable. I want to be able to have a normal relationship with someone without giving up my whole identity. I would like to know that there is hope and solutions that are out there.
I tried DBT but I learned that I don't know what soothing feels like. I was always on my own when I needed some comfort so I don't have that in my skill set. It doesn't seem to be something that anyone can explain or even understand. Sometimes I think I say things that are true for me but people who didn't live my life cant understand and they don't really believe me.
I hope there are some ideas for me I look forward to hearing them.View Thread


The hardest part of bpd is that people just don't understand how they let me down. To them it is no big deal but to me it is life or death. The reality is that it is no big deal and what gets me livid is not really life changing but to me it is a pattern of being disappointed that continues.
I'm working on trying to let things roll off my back but when the nerve is struck I react. Luckily I have been able to keep my temper in my head but it is very uncomfortable.View Thread

I'm finding that the whole over thinking and the catastrophising cannot be helped with meds. I am now trying to get help with that but people have a hard time understanding the agony that comes along with it.
I am reaching out to people and trying to explain that I don't know what it feels like to be comforted so when I try to self sooth I don't know what feeling I am supposed to have. none of this is easy but I'm still trying.View Thread

The best I can offer you is to look up borderline in the DSMIV. Or go on line to see if you meet the criterior for the disorder. I was diagnosed in 2005 but didn't really believe it until recently. This is not a popular illness and treating it is hard. I am finding that I am having to find solutions on my own which is sort of a contradiction because my best thinking has me in agony. I keep searching for the key to help me learn how to think right.
One of the traits of BPD is the instability of relationships that is a constant for me. I fall in love quickly and I love desperatly but when it's over I walk away without a thought. Maybe you are in a better place because you are committed for the long haul.View Thread
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