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auntiec30

Joined: 02/13/2011
My Story:
I've battled depression since I was 5 years old when my father suddenly passed away, but it was never treated until I was almost 40. Needless to say by then I was a total mess. I've experienced emotional & physical abuse by my late mother since I was very young. She is gone now, but I can't seem to move past the pain and how degrading she made me feel. I had a very special Aunt who was like a "real" Mom to me and she knew how I was treated at home and was so supportive. Just 6 months from the time she was going to retire she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She was gone in a very short time and I felt to empty. One week after her funeral I had my first panic attack. I didn't know what it was and my former physician told me it was all in my head. Two specialist's later I realized I had depression, panic disorder and anxiety. I take medications to help control all of these and have been in therapy most of the time since then. I'm now 57 years old and was recently diagnosed with Depersonalization Disorder. I feel like my life has been turned upside down and am still trying to make some sense of what's going on in my head. I checked myself into a behavioral health unit for a week and am back to seeing a Psychiatrist and Counselor; who are both terrific. I'm not one to give up on anything, but my mood swings are like a merry-go-round. Trying to relate how I feel to family and friends is very confusing for them and many of my friends have left my side. I guess they weren't really good friends if they can't hold you up when you are ready to crumble. I'm also on disability because I've had degenerative arthritis since I was 17 years old. What more could possibly happen? Some days it's a challenge to get up and get dressed and I'm sure some of you know what I'm talking about. Well, this is getting lengthy and I came to this community for support and also to offer my support to others who are where I am. If you've taken the time to read all of this; THANK YOU!

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Auntiec30
Posted by auntiec30