I've been cancer free for 2yrs. now and I hope I'm not the only person who does this. Every time something hurts or feels weird in my body, my brain immediately goes straight to, "Oh no Cancer!" Especially since I now have a brain tumor.
That was my little question, I need to ask you something about my pee. A month ago I went for my yearly pap smear and all that stuff. The nurse called me after they got the results, she asked me if it hurts when I have sex , I said," how the heck would I know, people don't have sex in this house." My husband/boyfriend can't have sex. I'll tell you about that another time.
Oh yeh, back to the sex. It seems that I have a rare condition, caused by the estrogen blockers that I have to take for 3more yrs. Guess what happened? My hoochie has closed up and can only be fixed through surgery! (I'm a virgin again) Do you believe it, not only do we have to lose a breast or two but I lost the only other sex thing that I had!! Not really but you know what I mean.
I tried having sex once about 3mo. ago and wondered what the heck was wrong, It was excruciating pain. I just thought it was because I wasn't use to it. It wouldn't go at all and the pain was so bad, I was screaming Oh God, Oh God, my husband thought I was screaming for a different reason. Now he thinks he's the greatest lover of all times!Ha, ha. That's not my question either (my chemo brain won't let me remember anything, not even what my next sentence will be) I don't know what I'm going to do about that situation. I'm sick and tired of surgery's, and doctors.
My question is, do any of you know whats wrong with me? (crazy doesn't count) A few hrs. ago I went to pee and couldn't do it for a few seconds, then it felt like something fell out, and then the pee came. It was soft and really little, kind of like jelly or a blood clot, it was the size of the smallest pea you've ever seen. You know that my mind has already given it every disease in the book. It wasn't blood, it wasn't any color. Does anyone on here know anything about it, has it happened to you or do you know anybody, or maybe you read it? Thank you in advance for reading this book of mine, it was just suppose to be short.View Thread
I just wanted to say, " you are so wonderful, and I love you all." Your so sweet to answer and pray for me, this is a great site! Where else can you go and tell strangers all your problems and have them care? I feel so lucky that I found you. Thanks and God bless you!
P.S. Since the first time I wrote you,(yrs. ago) I felt like I knew you guys forever.View Thread
I love what you wrote! You could be a poet! Everything you said is so true. I tried talking about it with Greg, I asked him if he was scared, he said "yes," I told him so was I. Then I had to stop talking because I was starting to cry and he needs to see me strong. If I let myself cry in front of him, I'm afraid that I'll get hysterical and not be able to stop.
I believe in miracles because I've seen them around me all my life. When I got cancer I wasn't scared at all because I could feel God inside me, not beside me but literally inside, keeping me safe and pain free. Greg saw that miracle happen right in front of him, so he wasn't scared for me. He acted so strong and brave but where he's concerned, he acts like he never saw anything or he thinks he doesn't deserve or will get a miracle.
When I was sick, I told him how blessed I felt, for all the good things God was doing for me and how nobody deserves it. God just does it, for anybody who asks for his help. When I start to say anything about God and a miracles happening to him, he tells me not to talk about it, he doesn't want to hear all that stuff. So, I stopped talking about it.
Guess what his doctor told him last week? He had this shocked look on his face and he told Greg that he couldn't believe his blood work. The doctor said it came back so good that he thinks his liver is starting to heal itself! Tell me that's not a miracle! That same doc told him 2mo. ago, that he didn't have a chance, because his cirrhosis was too far gone.
Why is it, that so many people don't recognize a miracle when it's right in their face? Why didn't he see that miracle? I remember when I was younger, I wouldn't recognize when God was telling me what not to do, but I surely did recognize every time he saved me. People are soooo complex! I don't even know why God bothers with us. I'm so glad that he doesn't judge or love us like humans do. We are so lucky that he's our Father and loves us unconditionally and with all his heart!
Sometime today,(when the time is right) I will try to have that discussion with Greg and I'm going to point out the miracle he seems to have missed. Don't worry, I don't talk all holly roller all the time, because I know that sometimes that turns people off. I'm going to talk about the things you mentioned, as soon as he brings them up. Thanks a lot. You always know just what to say. It's too bad we can't do that for ourselves.View Thread
Hi Jenna, Nice to hear from you too! My bed falling apart was unforgettable! The good news about that was, I got to buy a brand new bed!
My pee is back to normal and I don't know what caused that weird thing. I do know that I have to have surgery if I want to have sex again. I need to know exactly what it entails, I'll find that out later.
I wanted to ask y'all something else and please don't think that I'm being a cry baby and I think I have troubles. I have no more troubles then everybody else on here.
My husband has cirrhosis of the liver, his legs and feet are twice the size they normally are, they are so swollen that it's scary to look at. I feel that it's a death sentence because of everything I've read. I never thought we had a death sentence,(with our cancer) I always thought we had a fighting chance. I know in my heart that he's going to die and I'm handling it terribly. I keep saying awful hateful things and he's doing the same back.
Why am I doing this? What the hell is wrong with me? He's doing the same thing to me because he's so frustrated, scared and mad at himself. I feel that if he should die, it will hurt me less if I push him away first. It's all crazy and I know better, yet I keep doing it. All of us on this board KNOW about miracles, we have all either experienced them 1st hand or seen them happen to others. Can anybody survive cirrhosis of the liver and for how long?
When I think back on my life about all the good and the bad things that I've been through, all I remember are the good things. I'm just a little confused right now about my actions. Why are G and I acting so badly to each other? I know that I'm going to be sooo sorry, yet I can't stop talking like a B! I will appreciate any advise you have. Thank you very much. I love all of you!
Hi Rachael, It's great talking to you again. It makes me feel like I'm not the alone cancer girl!
I forgot to tell you, when I had the pain night, the foot board on my bed was loose and all it took was a little pressure and the whole bed crashed to the floor, I also live on the second floor so I wonder what my neighbor's thought. That was one of the funniest nights I had, in forever!
I found the paper work from my gynecologist but it doesn't make much sense. I called his office when I got this paper work or he called me,(chemo brain) and the nurse told me that my 'hoo hoe' closed because I don't have any estrogen. I have to take estrogen blockers for the next 5yrs. because of my breast cancer.
We really didn't go into the surgery part very much, I was still freaking out about having something wrong with another part of my womanhood. Can you believe it! Arggg!!(ck spelling) The doctor will have to cut me open again because it's closed, tighter then a drum! I'm going to call his office tomorrow and find out, then I'll tell you. It was nice talking to you again. Later.View Thread
I will write about the procedure as soon as I'm aloud to type. He showed me on his computer how it's done. The fat goes out a tube and through this machine that gets rid of the cells that are useless and he puts the good cells into you. He said I'll get a tummy job at the same time.(Great!) I think he said, most doctors use tissue from pigs or cadavers and he asked me which one I wanted. I, of course said, "my own." I can't remember exactly what he said.(chemo brain, oh that's another great side effect!) After talking to all of you, I'm really getting excited!
Do any of you still have chemo brain, yrs. later? I think I read that for some people, it never goes away. But that's a small price to pay for our lives. God bless you all. LukeView Thread
Maura, Thank you for so much information, that's exactly what I needed. My doctor is doing them both at the same time and without expander's. He's using the new gummy bear implants and I will need 2 to 3 surgery's. He is going to use my own stem cells, where a machine takes the fat from you, puts it threw a machine and back in me, without any air getting to it. He went to Japan to learn the stem cell treatment and is teaching the other plastic surgeon's in Jacksonville how it's done.
He didn't talk to me much about the pain, so I was freaking out about that. I was afraid it would be like my mastectomy and hurt like hell. So far today, every time somebody writes me, I feel less and less anxious. I want to thank all of you for taking the time to answer and make me feel so much better. Now, I have my brave suit on and I'm ready for anything!
Thank you Rachael, for your words of wisdom. I should have written you all, a month ago when I first decided to do it. I was very excited for the 1st two wks., then I started wondering how bad and for how long it will hurt. Will anybody on here please tell me about the pain? I'm still going to do it, I just want to know what I'm in for. (I'm sure the doctor won't tell) One good thing that he did say was "I don't believe in pain, I'm going to give you something when you leave and if that doesn't work, I will keep calling you in something, until it does work." He said that I can not move for 7days or it could mess up the procedure. I think it's great to know my doctor doesn't believe it pain. I'm sure, all of you have met the other kind, the ones who don't give a damn if you hurt or not. Thank you all for your prayers and please pray for me on Wed., just knowing that y'all will be praying with me means a great deal to me. Love you all.
Thank you Jenna for answering me. I'm really happy that you told me what you did. After I wrote you, I knew that my anxiety was being caused by the mastectomy. It went away as soon as I wrote it down and I became sure that I should do it. Thanks again and God bless you.