My daughter is very ill with a rare disease and has many surgeries and more coming with chemo and radiation planned. She lives with me so I can care for her and her 3 year old autistic son. I work full time and spend every free minute at doctor appointments and therapy appoints for my grandson. I am very tired and feel terribly guilty for even feeling depressed. The depression comes from knowing my daughter may die and being so tired. I have no support system of my own and have lost the few friends I have because I have no time for myself or them. I wouldn't change a thing because I love my daughter and grandson VERY much and would NEVER consider not caring for them. I can't get outside counseling because I can't afford it due to all the medical bills and don't have the time to go. I am just looking for some support and perhaps ideas on how to cope as the full time caregiver. I think the hardest thing for me is to even take a break without feeling horrible. I have turned into a complete control freak and don't want anyone taking care of my daughter and most times my grandson because it feels like it is the only control I have in a situation that seems so out of control. I don't think about or desire a life of my own. I simply feel as if I need some good news and to be able to take a breath sometimes. Thanks for your Reply!View Thread
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