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Taking care of a loved one is an honor. It can also overwhelm you and make you ... more

Worried about my father's wellbeing as Mom's careg...

My mother had a stroke in 2005 and my father's been her primary caregiver. While...

Posted by PDXtraveler

My mother had a stroke in 2005 and my father's been her primary caregiver.

While she's never fully recovered....she's pretty much happy if you buy her a Starbuck's and let her watch the Gem-Channel.

While my father's life is deteriorating.

In the beginning we all pitched in to help....Mom requested things and we got them for her. Tried to read to her...care for her. But she says no one will read to her adn then you show up with the book she's requested to spend the day with her and she doesn't want to she says she wants to paint....you buy hundreds of dollars of art supplies she says she needs and wants and thinks it would be good therapy for her condition. And they sit untouched.....she complains you didn't get the right ones...you buy the "right" ones and the also are never touched because now she wants to buy a hourse and take up horseback riding and gets upset no one will support her. Despite being 270 and can barely walk from the handicapped parking spot to the door of a store. Her whims change like the wind.....and I get that some of that is the stroke, though she was like that before....but she gets angry and takes it on her husband on us that we don't care and don't love her and won't help her.....because we won't buy the horse. It's crazy.

Sadly, prior to the stroke she pretty much only slept, watched TV and kept no schedule. And that continues know only magnified.

She was always strongwill and hardheaded and after the stroke that's gotten worse. She won't be told what to do and wants what she wants when she wants it.

In order to make life bearable you give in so her temper tantrums stop.

I see my father worn out, stressed and slipper futher into depression.

He's racked by guilt about what to do.

People suggest all sorts of things, but she doesn't want to do them....you set things up and then she refuses to get out of bed....

we're at our wits end. She was in an assisted care facility for awhile and she still had my father running ragged because she wanted this or that. But I think that was the best of a bad situation. Aty least Dad got a bit of a break and we new shge was getting consistent meds at consistent times because she will do what a stranger more readily.

But even there......she was only there 8 months and when we moved her out most of the new furniture and household items we bought her had to be taken to the dump despite having housecleaning service. She just is very very sloppy and doesn't like people cleaning around her.

How do we love and care for her in a respectful way and yet give my father some sort of quality of like......they're only in their 60's and he's active.View Thread

Posted byPDXtraveler

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Worried about my father's wellbeing as Mom's caregiver My mother had a stroke in 2005 and my father's been her primary caregiver. While...

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