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'A Patient Voice' Community

Reply: ? pain source

Hello and thanks for your reply. I will follow your suggestions. I'm reasonably new to...

Posted by MsMagoo7

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:? pain source Hello and thanks for your reply. I will follow your suggestions. I'm reasonably new to...

? pain source

Hi. I was diagnosed with fibro approx 15yrs ago. As many of you on this site can...

Posted by MsMagoo7

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:? pain source Hi. I was diagnosed with fibro approx 15yrs ago. As many of you on this site can...

Includes Expert Content

Reply: How do you cope with the guilt?

Hi. I realise that some time has passed since your last update, but I have just read your...

Posted by MsMagoo7

Hi. I realise that some time has passed since your last update, but I have just read your post and felt so moved by it. I can so relate to what you have been going thru, althou my perspective is that of a daughter/sister.

I have numerous medical/orthopeadic conditions. A year ago I collapsed, and spent the night on the floor before coming around for long enough to ring for help. I was unable to get myself off the floor as I had no feeling below my waist. I spent a week in hospital during which time I was also aggressively for acute renal failure, as a result of the collapse. I have spent the last year in fear that it would happen again. After numerous tests, we still didn't have a definitive diagnosis. "We" are hopeful that it was "just a one off" and that it won't happen again. I can't remember the collapse and the time before it happened. I have also lost about a month of memory from the time of the collapse.

All this in addition to my other problems has made for another hard year. I still fear that it could happen again, and am struggling to accept that I will probably never know what happened. As a result of it all, I was not allowed to drive for 12mths just in case it happened again, while I was driving. I have been so lucky to have great family support. They have driven me when I needed to get out to appts, groceries etc. But I have felt like a huge burdon to them all. They have continously assured me that they are "here to help" and that they are pleased to do it, but I hate having to ask for help, and put them out in anyway.

Now I'm at the one year point. Apparently, according to some of my family and friends, I should be over it all, and be driving again. I am absolutely terrified that it could happen again, and worst case senario I could kill someone if it happened while I was driving. I don't give a damn about what that could do to me, but fear for anyone else in the way of the car. I know that this is extreme thinking, but it has now a huge problem. I hated having to ask for help initially, and I hate it even more now that I am still in the position of requiring their assistance. I can't even sit in the drivers seat without having a full on panic attack. I'm at the point where honestly I don't want to drive again.

My family help out with the lawns/gardening which I can't manage, and Mum has been so helpful with vaccuming the floors. I live alone, and do need help, but they are retired and should be living it up, and not worrying about me. Recently comments have been passed about me and my need for quite a large array of daily tablets. I know that these comments come from a caring perspective but they really hurt. I seem to end up feeling guilty for just being me. I have made huge steps to accepting my limitations, but my family are still hoping for a miracle cure. I try to tell them that holding out false hope is counter productive but nothing I say helps. This attitude just makes me feel even more depressed. I feel that everything I do is wrong.

I want to be independent and not have to rely on anyone, but it seems that life has other plans for me.

I truly hope that life is treating you well, and that family time for you all is nothing short of spectacular! I wish you all the best for your future, whatever that holds. I'll be thinking of you, and hope that things are under control for you.View Thread

Posted byMsMagoo7

80 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:How do you cope with the guilt? Hi. I realise that some time has passed since your last update, but I have just read your...

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