as you will see from some of the posts in the alzheimer's and caregiving communities, violence in alzheimer's patients can often be controlled with meds. however, if that turns out not to be the case in your circumstances, or if other problems are arising that make your mother increasingly hard to handle, i do not think for one second that you are a "bad son" for considering options for your mother other than her living with you. i have never heard of anyone who believed that loving a parent and managing their care required subjecting a son/daughter and spouse to violence or wrecking the son/daughter's marriage.
may i ask, is your father in good health? is it absolutely necessary that he live with you and your wife, irrespective of what decision you come to with regard to your mother?
i send you and your family many caring thoughts; this is a situation that always brings terrible anguish with it. please let us know how things are going.
this is a summary of the webMD threads and articles on the FDA procedures for reporting complaints about regulated and non-regulated medications, medical devices, and other medically related products. it is accurate as of november 25, 2012, to the best of my knowledge, and supersedes any earlier posts i have made on this topic.
you can always find this list under "resources" on the righthand side of any page in this community (you might need to click on "see all" to get it to come up).
one caution -- i am not a medical person. i welcome, solicit, and indeed beg for amendments, corrections, and replacements for any inaccurate info in this post.
if you want to file a complaint with the FDA, take a look at the following resources --
we have a list of resources for finding free/low-cost medical care, including counseling, at http://forums.webmd.com/3/neurology-general-neurology-questions-and-support/forum/149 . you may have to go thru the entry level with a primary-care dr, but then you can ask to be referred to a counselor or psychiatrist. don't try to tackle everything on the list at once, or you'll be overwhelmed. check out one or two, see what they say, then check out one or two more.
i welcome any suggestions for additions to this list. if any of the links no longer work or are too hard to navigate, please let me know by posting a message in this community, http://exchanges.webmd.com/chronic-disease-and-disability-exchange , with my name -- susie margaret -- in the title (be sure to tell me which link and what the problem is!).