My husband was diagnosed in Jan 2012 (height 6'2", weighing 198- was 212 in Nov 2011) with CRC stage III and the next day with separate cancer of stage II kidney cancer (7.0 mass). In Feb they removed his left kidney and some lymph nodes and successfully removed all the kidney cancer. A week later he started radiation and low dose chemo for the 6.0 rectal cancer in hopes to shrink it some. The first week of May he had a Pet Scan and we were informed it had metastasized to one lobe of the liver liver (three spots) Now at stage IV CRC.
Second week of May he had surgery to remove his rectum, bladder and prostate and maybe the masses in the liver. When they opened his liver there were six masses consisting of both lobes. They closed the liver back up without removing the masses and performed the rest of the scheduled surgery. He now has a urostomy and colon bag (permanent) weight at 161.
He took the summer to recover from all of this. Spent time with kids and grandchild in Florida, rode his Harley for one short trip and was getting stronger.
In Mid-August he stared his 1st of 12 sessions of chemo weighing in at 169. Yesterday started session 4 and he weighed in at 150, low blood pressure reading, but he has not lost any hair. He has now slept for 15 1/2 hours, weak, hurts to sit with no muscle mass on rump, can only stand for 2 minutes and walking is limited for he is so weak.
I cannot even begin to tell you what I have gone through watching my biker husband go through this. My sister is the only person I will vent to for fair of being attacked or judged by his family. I'm scared, lonely, angry and depressed and I don't know how to fix what is attacking my husband. My job has been the fixer of the issues and I cannot fix this.
My husband and I feel the same way. It is as if the doctors decide what to tell us and when. They seem compassionate yet withdrawn. I am to a point I don't believe anything I am told now until I see it in writing. My husband had total faith in his team until this past week. He ended up back in the hospital and was giving so little information on what was happening and why the drugs that he does not trust any more as well. He has told them he did not want anything held back yet it seems they are holding back. His comment was "Do they think they are God?". Just don't know and I am tooooo wore out to fight.View Thread
I am on the otherside with my husband feeling like you do. Please let me tell you from the spouse side it does take getting use to but being pushed away and being told by my husband that he is too gross for me to want intimacy with him hurt. I feel he did not give me a chance to deal with it and now that part our our lives is over because of his weakness from chemo. Please reconsider your thinking and let your spouse come to grips with the changes with you.
Suggestion, look up stealthbelt.com
They made a special belt for him with a double ostomy and he could go swimming, motorcycle riding and more and the best part he loves about it is no more leaking problems for it also holds his wafers in place. He wears his belt 24/7, we laugh because I have to make him take it off to wash it. Find the laughter. They are on Facebook as well. They have several choices for intimacy as well.View Thread