Ok, first off I am so sorry for your loss. Secondly, you are not a failure! You have every right to feel heartbroken and what has happened to you is truly unfair but it was completely out of your control. You are still able to become pregnant even with one tube. Don't lose hope, you are still young and you have a healthy uterus and 1 healthy tube still. (((HUGS))) and once again I am so sorry for your loss.View Thread
First, I am so sorry for your losses. Second, you are not crazy! You are currently in shock and don't know how you are supposed to feel. Every person has a different way of digesting grief. My husband and I had a totally different way of "adjusting to life" after our loss. Don't allow anyone to tell you how you are supposed to feel, you need to be allowed to feel how you feel. Also, do not feel like you need to start trying again right away. You can take a breather from trying to conceive to allow yourself to take a break and readjust. (((HUGS))) and once again I am so sorry for your losses.View Thread
I am so sorry for all of your losses. I had a miscarriage in April of 2010 and I still find myself every single day longing to have the baby that we lost at 13 weeks along. This morning I finally decided to call my doctor to ask again if they knew the gender of our baby. They had told me before that they didn't know but now that more time has passed I found myself wondering if they only told me that because they didn't think it would be "healthy" for me to know. Well, they gave me the same answer today. I agree with the others, time makes it easier but you will never forget your little one. I have had 2 beautiful and healthy baby girls since our miscarriage and I thank GOD every minute of every day for them, but they do not replace the baby that we lost, nor do I want them to. Our first baby was special and is a guardian angel to our family now and I no longer fear death because someday I will be able to join our angel in heaven and hold him or her in my arms. (((HUGS))) to you and the others who posted.View Thread
I am so sorry for your losses. It sounds like your milk came in and what you are experiencing is called engorgement. It helps to put cold compresses on your breasts. Wear a tight bra and don't stimulate your nipples (don't allow water to run over then in the shower). (((HUGS))) and once again I am so sorry for your losses.View Thread
We lost our baby back in April at 13 weeks and these last few weeks we have been trying to focus on TTC. We went to our friend's house for the 4th of July and a woman that was there was pregnant and due in 2 weeks. Our friends have a 4 year old and they seem to complain a lot about his hyperactive behavior when we think he is just being a kid. I forgot to mention that we just reconnected with these friends so they had no idea that we were even pregnant. So the entire night they talked about babies. They talked about the good, the bad, the ugly. They just seemed to complain about the fact that in 2 weeks the baby will be in the world and they will have to start changing diapers and staying up all night. She also went on and on about how she refuses to even try to breast feed. I just sat there in silence. I didn't have anything to say. I felt like getting up on the table and screaming at the top of my lungs because we have been TTC for a long time now and we have had no success. We TTC a long time before I was pregnant too. When they started talking about how they had to get a Diaper Genie and how they can't believe all of this stuff they have to buy for the baby, I just went to my happy place and tried to just zone out. When we hit 12 weeks my husband and I went out and got a Diaper Genie and some other stuff to celebrate getting past that milestone. Finally my husband made up a lie and said that we had to be somewhere at a certain time and got me out of there. I cried in the car the entire way home. I thought I was doing better lately but I just couldn't keep the tears in. I just think that they don't realize how lucky they are to have the blessing of a child. I just needed to vent a little. What a happy 4th of July, huh...View Thread
Thanks for the replies! Today is a better day. That is all that we can hope for sometimes, that each day is better than the last. I do not doubt that once we have a baby we will have a different perspective. I find myself longing for the moment someday where I am holding my baby and smelling the baby scent in it's hair. I know, that sounds crazy, I look forward to smelling my baby. There are many little things I find myself longing for recently, but I am no longer crying myself to sleep at night anymore. Day by day I am a little more OK. I really don't want to hang out with those friends again but I can't hold it against them because they had no idea that we lost our baby. Well, I successfully vented for the week. Thanks for being here!View Thread
I am so very sorry for your loss. I can relate to the frustration that you are feeling. Back in April I lost my baby in the 13th week and had a D&C. I am also feeling like my body will never go back to normal. I had gained about 10 lbs and I lost the weight but I can tell that my hormones will probably never be the same. It was not easy for me to lose the weight (I had to start exercising and change the way I eat) and I can tell that my metabolism is different now. When I lost the 10 lbs I still had to go out and buy new clothes because it just seems like things just didn't go back in their original places and my old clothes didn't fit even thought I am back down to my original weight. It is so frustrating. Also, I have never ever in my life been acne prone and when I was about 6 weeks pregnant I began to have issues with back and upper arm acne. Now it is over 2 months after the D&C and I am still battling the acne on my back and arms. My face is clear but I cannot wear my sleeveless shirts and it is hot outside. I am also embarrassed for my husband to even see me without a shirt on because of the acne and the scarring. This is not helping in the romance department since we are TTC again. My doctor recently did a blood test and I have no hormone in my system, so I can only assume that this is how I will be from now on. I wish I had answers for you and could tell you that your body would return to normal, but mine has not and I feel like it will not. Once again, I am so sorry for you loss and I hope that you will have better luck than me with getting back to normal.View Thread
Brubee & TeacherBeck, thank you for your responses. I know that even if we did everything perfect there is still only something like a 20% chance of becoming pregnant. I just wish that I didn't have the positive tests and I wish that I would just start my period already! So frustrating to be stuck in limbo. This is just such a difficult week with the false positives and the car accident. I am the type to just keep smiling through the pain (hince Mandy_smiles) so that nobody asks me about anything. Lately I just feel like screaming instead of smiling. Finding the right car has just been such a difficult task. We both work full time and have opposing schedules so we are doing a lot of online shopping unfortunately. I just keep thinking to myself that everything could be much worse. All of the bad luck just seemed to happen all at once so I am due for some good luck for awhile from now on! Glass must remain half full. Bring on the good luck! Maybe I should play the lotto tonight? haha View Thread
I am so sorry to hear that your levels are not going down. I did not have a natural miscarriage, I opted for the D&C but I have read on this message board about a pill that can help speed up the process? Has your doctor offered this pill to you as an option? I was 13 weeks along and my doctor advised me to have the D&C because of how far along I was. She said that she was afraid that I would end up needing one in the end anyway so I just went ahead and did it. Has your doctor had any suggestions for what you should do? My heart truly goes out to you, I cannot imagine what you are going through but I can relate to the need to move on and to not have the reminders. We moved to have a 2nd bedroom so unfortunately our apartment is a constant reminder with an empty nursery. I hope and pray that this will end for you soon and you will have the closure that you need. I am so sorry for you loss.View Thread
I am so sorry for your loss. I had a D&C back in April and I was in the 13th week when we lost our baby. I can relate to the pain that you are feeling and remember that you need to put yourself first right now. It is life changing and everyone on this board is here to help and support you.
I went back to work entirely too early after our loss and I just sat at my desk and cried. The first 2 days I went back I had to leave early because I couldn't stop crying. The 3rd day I just had to make it clear that I didn't want anyone to say ANYTHING to me all day. I made it through that day without crying at work. If you feel like you need more time off and you aren't ready to go back Monday then don't force yourself to get back into the normal routine until you are ready to do so.
I also tried to keep my tears from my husband but he could hear me when I would wake up in the middle of the night crying. Even though I tried to have a strong front, he knew. You should lean on each other right now and don't try to hold in the tears because it doesn't work. I had to remind myself, for better or for worse. you will get through this together. Hold onto each other for dear life. Cry when you feel like you need to cry. You have to let it out.
My dog also knew something was going on. Dog's are very smart and they sense more than we could ever realize. I cried with my dog a lot. She is a lab/malamute mix and she would lean in on me and let me cry on her. She is the best.
The D&C is surgery and typically there is cramping and bleeding for several days following the procedure. Everyone is different and everyone's bodies have different reactions. I didn't have much bleeding after wards but I had a lot of cramping and bloating for over a month after. It is 2 months later and I can just now say that I am feeling back to normal again. When you have a D&C you have to allow yourself to heal before trying again. Right now you need to allow yourself to time to wrap your mind around what has happened and do what comforts you. If you feel like crying, then cry. If you don't feel like getting out of the house, don't go anywhere. If you don't want talk to anyone, turn your phone off. Just remember that you have to do what is best for you right now. Once again, I am very sorry for your loss. *HUGS*View Thread