I am very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Everyone will have different opinions about their own situations and what is best for themselves, but ultimately you will need to decide what method is going to be the best for you. I had to have a D&C. My body didn't want to let go at all. I had no signs of anything being wrong and we went in to hear the heartbeat and when they couldn't do it they did an ultrasound and there was our little angel on the monitor with no heartbeat, in perfect form. I cannot give any advice or tell you what to expect with natural miscarriage or taking the pills to speed up the process, but I think that this message board is a good outlet to ask advice from women that have been where you are right now. I agree with the others about allowing yourself time to grieve and do what comforts you right now. Unfortunately none of us ever thought that we would end up on this message board, but we are here if you need anything at all: to be sad, happy, vent about something that someone said, everything. Try to put yourself first right now and take life one breath at a time.View Thread
I am so very sorry about everything you have experienced in the past several month. Virtual *Hugs*. It's hard to know what the right things to say are, but you are in my thoughts and prayers. We are here on this board if you need to us, we are all here for you.
Do what comforts you right now. Whether that is going somewhere quiet or whatever it is that you need to do. Do not accept pressure from the world to do things before you are ready to do them. I went back to work far too soon after my miscarriage and just sat at my desk and cried for a few days while I got the silent treatment from my co-workers because nobody knew what to say to me. I knew I should not have been there but I had no more time to take off so I was forced to go in to work anyway. Looking back, I should have just taken the days off unpaid and not asked for them, I should have just straight up told my boss what was going to happen and not allow anyone else to make me feel like I should just suck it up and start trying to get past it right away. If you need to lay in bed for days/weeks then do it and you should not care what anyone else says. Do what you need to do right now. Be with the people that you need to be with. Try to take care of yourself and allow yourself to take time to do that.
When I lost our baby in April people would tell me that it's just one step at a time. At the time I couldn't imagine stepping forward at all. I felt stuck in sorrow. So my motto was just one breath at a time and then in a few weeks/months we will talk about steps. So, just focus on taking one breath at a time and do what comforts you right now. More virtual *HUGS* and remember, we are all here if you need someone to talk to.View Thread
All I can say is... wow. I think I would have come through the phone and wrapped the cord around her neck! That is just uncalled for. True friends would never say anything so hurtful. I'm sorry that you had to go through that.
I am happy for you that you are trying again! We are trying again too and we are looking for support in our friends and family too. Good luck and have fun practicing View Thread
I keep seeing on here that doctors have said to wait 3 months before ttc again, but my doctor said that once I have a period then my body is physically ready for another pregnancy and we could start trying again. She said that once my body has a period my uterus is healed and I will begin to ovulate again. She looked at my uterus Monday and said it looks great and there was no sign of infection and said that it was healing quickly. She said to try using ovulation tests this time if we want to get pregnant right away. She said we should wait as long as we feel we need to until we are emotionally ready, but I would be physically ready after my first period. Make sense?
I am ready to start TTC again, but obviously I am not past the loss of our baby. Not even close. I went and got some Mothers Day cards and they have cards for 'Mom's to be' and I thought about how I should be getting one of those cards Sunday, but I won't because I am not pregnant anymore. I also had to sit and listen to one of my clients go on and on about how they can't pay us because she accidentally got pregnant and how they were not trying or ready for this and going on and on about how could all of this happen to her and how her wedding dress won't fit now and she will be fat on her wedding day... I just wanted to tell her that if she didn't want her baby I would take it off of her hands because I want a baby more than anything. Yesterday someone I hardly know said that she feel like her dad is holding my baby in heaven. I know everyone's hearts are in the right place but I was just creeped out about the thought of a stranger being with my baby in heaven. I feel haunted. I will be doing really good and then out of the blue something happens. But I feel like I will always feel like this and I will always miss this baby, so it just feels right to try again.
We want a baby even more now than ever, but I do feel guilt for wanting to move on. I will always want and miss the baby we lost but we don't want to wait any longer than we have to before we start trying again. I do I look forward to practicing!View Thread
My D&C was April 21 and today I started my period! Of course I freaked out and called my doctor and she told me that is was just my period but this is the first time in a few weeks that I can look forward with a smile. In just a few weeks we can start trying again! I have a few friends/family members that got pregnant right after their D&C, how many of you has that also happened to? I have heard that women are extra fertile after having a D&C, what are your opinions???View Thread
I am trying to stay positive. Initially when they told me that the tests were inconclusive I was upset. Here is it a day later and I am trying to think of it more like, well atleast they didn't find something bad that would prevent us from having a healthy baby in the future. I figure if I try and make myself think positive, then my brain will naturally begin doing it on it's own soon.. haha.. I am trying to brainwash myself to be happy again. I'm glad that you were able to speak with your doctor today. Good luck and hang in there. I think that is all we all are doing, just hanging on. God bless.View Thread
I am very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. My situation is similar to yours. I miscarried my baby a few weeks ago and I was between 12 and 13 weeks along so we had announced it to the world since they said to wait until 12 weeks to announce anything. I also received no answers for why or how this happened to us. They did testing but the tests came back inconclusive. I just don't understand how there could be no answers, just know that you are not alone and there are many of us with no answers.
I also feel for you with your mother begging you for a grand baby. My in laws are in their 60s and the last baby in their family was when my husband was born 31 years ago. I have a lot of pressure on me to bless them with a grand baby to carry on the family name and we had to tell them that we lost the baby and I feel like a lot of people are disappointed in me while we are just devastated. I am also bleeding, from the D&C so I also feel a constant reminder and I just wish it would end. You are in my thoughts and prayers. This message board has helped me a lot. It helps me to know that there are other people the truly understand how I am feeling, hopefully it will help you as well. I am very sorry for your loss.View Thread
I am very sorry for your loss. I'm glad that you found this message board, it has really helped me knowing that there are other people that understand how I am feeling. I had my follow up appointment with my doctor yesterday, my D&C was on April 21st. I know you didn't have a D&C, but maybe this will help. She said that within the next 6 weeks after the D&C I should have a period and if I don't have a period to call her once 8 weeks have past and I will go in and she will see what is going on. It hasn't been very long for me since I had the D&C, but I wanted to be prepared and know what to expect. I thought that maybe what my doctor told me may help you out as well. You could call your doctor and ask them about not having a period yet. Hopefully you can get some answers soon, there is nothing worse than waiting with no answers. Maybe it will take you a few more weeks since it has been 5 weeks. My doctor said that my body would continue to produce the pregnancy hormone until my miscarriage was complete or I had the D&C. Then the hormone would fade for a few weeks until it was completely gone and then I would have a period a few weeks after that and then we can try again if we are ready for that. I hope this helps and like I said, try calling your doctor and see what they say.View Thread
I am at work, crying again because I think I am doing good and then I get an excess of e-mails from people from our corporate office telling me how sorry they are for our loss. I just cannot control my tears for some reason... I need some retail therapy, time for a long lunch hour at the mall.View Thread
Thank you everyone, it actually does help to read everything on this message board and know that I am not alone in how I am feeling. I am so very sorry for all of your losses.
I think I made a little bit of progress today. I woke up and didn't feel like crying myself back to sleep. I got out of bed the first time I tried. I still cried in the shower, and on my way to work because I just don't feel ready to be back in the swing of things but have no choice. But I got out of bed without crying. I also slept through the night for the first time last night. I keep having these aweful dreams that I am sitting in a rocking chair holding my baby, looking down at it's perfect face and then someone walks up and takes the baby out of my arms and says that I lost my baby. I wake up drenched in sweat and I have to change all of my clothes and lie a blanket down over my sheets because they were also drenched in sweat. But I slept through the night last night and I didn't remember my dreams at all. I have lost 9 Lbs in 9 days, and I feel void of all emotion unless it is sadness, but I woke up without crying.View Thread