Hi, I can relate to your story, bc I too have lost a child, twins actually, Feb 2011. My year ann passed & it was a hard day. I thought of them often. I always do & I know I always will. They are apart of me & no matter the situation, your child passing will always be apart of you. We tried counselors & for my husband & I it just made it worse. Our family was the best support we could of asked for. Lean on your family if you can. Surround yourself with love & faith & don't loose it. I have learned many things from my twins passing, as I'm sure you have too. Trust in God & ask for guidence when you feel you need it. God never closes a door for no reason & he will open a door for you for a reason. We have a burial site for our twins, a tiny place reserved for them. So when we need to, we go visit them & I can get my love out to them. It helps to know they are somewhere where I can "visit them" I can visit them anytime of day, but I like having a place to go, quietly. I am 10 wks pregnant now & I know this is my door that God has opened for me. I trust in God to guide me & my new baby to be. As mad as I was at Him, He has shown me his love & trust. I hope you are ok & even though this post is old, (2months) maybe it will still help you or others SincerelyView Thread
Thank u~ Yea maybe it is too soon, but i know my husband. He is very stubborn & usually once he's set on something thats it. just bc something tragic happend doesnt mean u cant have happiness again. i think he feels like "we tried it, didnt work, thats it" we are happy w the 4 kids we have & we spoil them alot...but i think he just doesnt want to deal w it anymore.
if it wont happen or he doesnt have a change of heart, i hope i can get over the feeling of wanting another baby. i see the pics we have & the 2 car seats & some other things we have & i just want to share love w a baby & have those special moments. i want to share a baby w him.
idk but ur right, only god knows why & what will happen w us. i trust in that. regardless of how i feel.
yea consider stayin in san juan PR. its beautiful. san juan is where all the history is & great resturants & shops. i can even suggest the places & hotel & resturants we enjoyed. u wont be dissapointed! we want to go back!
Hi myRaymond~ Im back from my vac to Puerto rico & it was amazing. We really had a great time & we enjoyed the time away from work & daily stresses. It was great. If you ever think about a vac to an island...visit Puerto Rico! its a whole other place! I hope your doing well. today is 2 months since I had my twins. it feels like forever ago & then some days it feel like just yesterday. I want to try again, but my husband told me he doesnt want to. we have 4 children between us & he said he just wants to focus on them. we just dont have any kids together. so these babies were an amazing gift. Im upset he doesnt want to try again. His mom wants us to try &keeps praying & saying it will happen but i dont have the heart to tell her that he doesnt want to. Im kinda ready now! idk maybe its soon for him to think of it but then again I know my husband. All we talked about was having a baby together, he wanted it so bad & then after all this happened...now he doesnt want to. we r in the marines as well so his job is super stressful & that could be another factor. we live 3 hrs away from fam too. we like to go home & visit alot. so im sure there are many factors & then again I know he just doesnt like dealing w it.
im on the pill again so getting prego wont happen till I go off the pill. ive never gotton prego while on bc & it took 7 months to just get prego w the twins! & im going to be 33 this aug...so my eggs arent in the fabolous 20's anymore.
had a great vac just still long for a baby. who knows like u said....when one door closes another one opens for u. Ill just b paitent & wait.
its nice talking to you & thanks for always responding! View Thread
Well thank you very much! Thats nice of you to say! Yes we are looking forward to this vac very much! Leave this monday!
Yea we both felt weird towards the counselor. I think for us its best to talk with fam. That seems to work for us. We have great fam support. But I know for others it helps. ive seen counselors before for other fam issues & it was a great help. But for this matter, i just dont want to keep bringing up my babies w someone I dont know. Counselor or not. Family is best for us.
Ive become very close with God over the last cpl years myself. & now understanding his ways...kinda makes me feel ok. Eventhough I wish to God that my babies were here with me, to love, take care of & protect. See them smile at me, hear them cooing...all the wonderful things. I believe that God is greater than I can imagine & he knows why our babies are with him. I long for an answer, but just being paitent & I might not know till Im with God. But if they are not with me, then being with God is the best for them. I miss them terribly & everyday I wish I could see their tiny faces....but in my heart they are smiling at me.
I prolly wont respond for a wk! Ill check when i get back home next tues. Its nice talking to you!View Thread
Aww thank you! Sounds like your vacation was well enjoyed! We leave this coming Monday for PR & can't wait!
My mind wonders too at times. But I'm finding not as often anymore. We went to 1 session of counseling & honestly I don't think my husband & I really liked our counselor..he was kinda "weird" I don't know how to describe it. But we are finding that since that app we kinda dont really wanna go anymore. Talking about it was kinda uncomfortable & brought up alot of sadness. But mainly talking to a "stranger" about a very personal, tragic situation...kinda made us feel worse. I don;t know if anyone else has or is experiencing that feeling....but thats kinda how we feel. We just spend time together & do what we always have, going on vac we are looking forward to. So we feel good in that.
I hope your doing well & continue to find happiness in every day. Take care MendezwifeView Thread
Hello yes it has been nice chatting with you too! Im in MD, eastern shore. We are Marines so we will move to VA in Nov. No more beach! Yes I understand.....we won't ever forget our babies...staying in the past will only harm you. We know that...but I too felt I would forget my babies.....but as my counselor says the grieving process is long & comes in waves. Nothing can ever let your memory forget such sad things...but time does heal. Take it 1 day at a time,,,if 1 day you feel like crying, do it! 1 day you might feel fine. That happens with us. Just for saying, my husband & I are going to Puerto Rico in April for a much needed vacation & for our wedding ann. Maybe you can do the same, take a vacation or lil getaway with your hubby, just you two. Time away & new sights & something different will be good for the 2 of you! Take care & thanks for responding. (sry it took me 3 days!)View Thread
First of all I'm sorry for your loss's & troubles. I miscarried about 4 yrs ago & just in Feb I gave birth to twin boys & they didn't make it. I was 23 wks. Premature labor. So I do understand. I don't think its a matter of trying too soon....something about those pregnancies just wasnt right, thats why they didnt thrive. God has a way of letting go of things that arent right for you.
But having miscarriages in a row & not keeping pregnancies might be of some concern, since you are young. Young women in their 20's usually have no problems.(if your in your 20's) But please dont let that discourage you.
Keep seeing your doc & keep the lines of communicatin going. I hope your blessed & able to keep the next blessing that comes your way! take good care of yourself, vitamins, eat right, no drugs, alchol. keeping your body healthy is a good start for a growing baby! good luck to you!View Thread
MyRaymond, It seems like we have alot in common with the same feelings. Thank you for responding....as usual I agree with what you said....When I went into labor & water broke in the parking lot of our house....We too were like "this isnt happening" we must of said that a million times that day. My husband referred to it as a nightmare. (many times that day) I just couldnt & still cant believe I had twins 1 month ago & they are not here with me. Just feels like it never happend & my fear is one day I will forget them. (But I know I wont) Its funny that your husband welcomes trying again & your hesitant.....for us its the other way. Im wanting to try again & my husband feels a lil hesitant. I think we will in a cpl months...but now its kinda hard to put into thought. We have 4 kids between us already...but none of our own. So we really want to be parents together & these twin boys were all we focused on for 6 months....to have them gone is just alot to handle & even think about trying again. Oh & having another baby won't "replace" any baby. Children are a blessing, just keep your faith & focus on that if God blesses you again, expecting it or not, it is his will. It sounds like you have a great hubby & good support from your fam. You will gain happiness again. We both will. Its been nice chatting with you! I'm on the East Coast......waiting for summer to come! Birds chirping, flowers popping up & the warm breeze blowing always makes you feel better!View Thread
Well it seems we are on the same time frame, its been 1 month for us. & it is a lil easier. I have my moments, & we will continue to have those moments, but they will differ & change. Its hard to believe that something so tragic has happened...I'm sure you feel the same way. But if we can educate others who have gone through it, tell our stories & share moments, we can help someone else feel better. & who doesn't love that!
Have you given thought to counseling? Do you have family support? I started exercising & feeling healthy helps. Gets your mind going & feeling good. Or start a hobby. We gonna give it some time before we try again...maybe in the Fall. Still on the table about that. But whats meant to be will happen.
Bless you all! Its normal to question the Lord, I think I did a lil in the begining...till I felt bad for doing so. But like everyone said the Lord does know & we have to trust in him.
We've been to 1 counseling session & it was a meet & greet get to know us type thing....but I am looking forward to the future ones bc I feel I have more questions. But I do think time makes it seem easier to deal & move on.
We will never forget our babies, the beautiful children that we never saw smile or run or call us "mommy & daddy" but one day the Lord will re-unite us. When God closes 1 door for us, he opens another. Trust in the Lord for all things & know that we are not alone. Surrounding yourself w family helps a great deal!