Helly myRaymond~ I understand how you feel, its been 1 month since I delivered & lost my twins. So I understand your pain & feelings. I too just started counseling ( we my husband & I, I mean!) & the feelings come in waves.........denial, anger, frustration, extreme sadness, feeling "why us"
And in no way should you feel you have to "put on a show" for anyone. I understand that there are days you feel pretty good, considering & then some days everything makes you cry. (its been a month for us & I'm doing better than last wk, but filling out our twins baby book broke me.)
Its funny you say how your husband is "doing better" because mine is too. We talked about that & I think bc he didnt carry the babies & vag gave birth to them like in our case, its just a different feeling. But not to say that men don't grieve, men & women are very different, & don't feel he doesn't care or it didn't affect him. You dont know if on the way home from work he did cry a lil in his car & by the time he got home to you, he wanted to be strong for you. You just never know. My husband & I are going to counseling together & he said to me he didnt want to be insenstive to me, but he feels a cpl sessions will be good enough for him.
We had to arrange funeral services 4 days after we had our babies...& now dealing w life insurance & other important things.....that's what my husband is doing....handeling those things....we are military so we have a lil xtra support..but I'm home ,not working, which is fine with me & dealing with the bedroom & returning things & figuring out what to do. So we take on different roles in handeling & dealing with things.
If you have a higher power faith & belief, take comfort in that. We do & we know that God who does all, knows all & he does what's best for us. Even if we feel having our babies here is best, God knows truely. We trust in that.
Hello Sorry for you loss...We too just lost our twin sons Feb 21st. Almost 4 wks ago. (23 wks along, born alive but wasn't strong enough to come home with us ) I'd like to know as well, bc 2 wks ago I had a D & C & feel great! Its like my body needed it, I was having problems after vag giving birth to my twins. My doc said wait 6 months, I go to her in April for my app. We are starting counseling 2m & I'm sure that will help us. We will prolly start trying around Aug, we want that. If its meant to be God will bless us again. He knows why & only He can do for us. I pray you find peace & hope. Good luck to you!View Thread
Hello I understand exactly what your going through! its like I typed it! We lost our twin boys 3 wks ago....Feb 21st. ours just came too soon at 23 wks. & both passed. It was the nightmare I never wanted to have. My poor husband was crushed as I was too. I vag gave birth to both of them & barely saw them before they were being working on. I know the feeling of empty-ness, loss, sorrow. We are getting counseling this wk our 1st app. I too hope it helps for us. but I understand what your saying about your husband, mine seemed to get over it already, I cry alot over them, returning things we bought....feeling like once my husband went back to work & I'm home alone, feeling like I'd have 2 lil boys to take care of. Feeling sad over what happened, like it never happend, I was big too! Now I'm skinny again, flat belly & you can't tell I was pregnant with twins, unless your our fam & they couldn't believe how big I was.
My doc said wait 6 months, so we will try again. As long as husband still wants to. He feels like it was a cruel joke. Why would God bless us with 2 babies (concieved 100% naturallly, no drugs) to take them away from us? I gave birth to them on a mon & by fri we burried them. It just seems too hard to believe, everything happened so fast. I trust in God that he needed them, there's a reason why they are not here with us. Something wasn't right. Just hard to understand.
I'll be 33 this Aug so i feel your thoughts on not wanting to wait so long! It took us 7 months to get pregnant...found out at 5 months we were having twins! My heart goes out to you as well & trust in God that he will bless you again. He knows why things go as they do. keep your faith. & talk to anyone who will listen. God bless you & your family.View Thread
Sorry for your loss....all of you ladies. I too lost my twin boys Feb 21st, just 3 wks ago. I had alot of bleeding bc of having 2 babies. Had to get a d & c surgery done 2 wks ago & after that, my bleeding all but stopped. I have alil light pink/brownish discharge & its totally normal. It takes a while for your body to get back to normal. Its your body's way of getting rid of the bad stuff it doesn't want.
I have my 4 wk app april 6th & looking forward to knowing when we can try again. Keep your head up ladies! Trust you bodies & listen to it! Doc are there for us & to call or come in whenever there's a problem!View Thread
Ladies I just had a d&c last thurs....after delivering my twin sons & loosing them both at 23 wks. I had so much placenta left inside (only 1) that it was making me sick & giving me lots of problems. I got my surgery last thurs & I feel good. I needed to get all that out. Thanks for the post, bc I have an app april 6th & I too was wondering when I should expect my 1st period & I want to get back on bc pills. (cant try for 6 months) which is ok bc we need to grieve & take time. Good luck to all you ladies trying again after a loss & keep your faith! We all know how the feelings come!View Thread
Ladies I am grieving with you all! my husband & I just lost our twin sons on Feb 21st. Just 2 wks ago. I was 23 wks & they just came too soon. 1st son lived for 17 mins & 2nd son lived for 13 hrs. We too have ss cards, b cert & d cert. I vag gave birth to them on a mon & by fri my husband & I were burrying them.
The feelings of emptyness, saddness, hurt, anger.........all of it, haunt me everyday. We too planned for this baby & when we learned we were having twin boys we were just so happy & blessed! (after the shock wore off! ha)
I dont have to keep going on....you all know what Id say & how to feel. Lean on your family, husbands & friends. Get counseling & lean on the Lord, for his trust is what we know & need. He has our babies for a reason & what better place for them to be if they are not here w us. I send my love & support to all of you who lost. Just typing this I'm crying.
Dear Sonyamh~ I too am sorry to hear of your loss....for I can relate. My husband & I just lost our twin sons Feb 21st. I vag gave birth to them & they passed 17 min & 13 hrs later. My hubby too has been my support....it has affected him hard as well. We are looking into counseling, which I hope you have done too. Lean on your family, which we did. Burrying your children is the hardest thing no parent should ever be faced with.
My prayers are with you, bc we know & trust in God that he has plans for our angel babies, even when we dont know those reasons, even when we are sad, mad, frustrated. There's a reason why God does what he does & I hope that comforts you!
Stay strong & healthy. God will bless us again when our time is right. View Thread