It's not your fault. It's none of our faults that this happened to any of us. There isn't anything you could of done. Don't blame yourself. I lost my baby when I was 17 at 8wks gestation. I was too young to be a mom & had no way of taking care of my baby & would have been all alone as a single parent with no help. For me it just wasn't meant to be at that time. Now I'm 25 & I have 2 little girls. Maybe right now it isn't time for you to have another baby. Maybe you only have one for a reason unknown to you at the moment. Give yourself time. I know it has to be hard to loose 2 in a row like that. Just give yourself time & eventually it will get easier.View Thread
It's gonna be hard for a while hun, but you will be ok in time. Just make sure everyone else allows you the time you need. There is no easy way to cope, you just have to allow yourself to feel what you feel & to grieve & at some point it will start to stop hurting so much.
When you do decide to try again make sure you are not only physically ready but mentally & emotionally ready as well. You're lucky in some ways that I was not. At least you have a supportive family & a man who seems understanding & caring. I had a family that seemed almost happy about my loss considering my age I suppose I understand it some, but they surely didn't have to show it so much. & since I was a teen I had no man @ my side to be supportive or help me cope. I was 100% completely alone & just a child at that. Sometimes life just sucks & it isn't always fair, but I just try to think about as everything happens for a reason. I hold my children more dear now then I would have then & I'm more mature because of it, I wasn't ready to be a mom at 17, I would have had no help, I would have gone down a different road & probably not finished school or gone to college, my babies dad was a dead beat druggy, I never would have meet my husband to have the daughters I have now. When I put it in perspective years later now I see that it happened for a reason. I'm still sad about my loss & wish it never happened, but at least I feel I have some understanding of my reasoning & that does help.
Please just don't push yourself to feel ok because that makes it harder. Take it one day at a time & allow yourself to feel what you feel so you can move on when you're ready. You will be ok in time. You really will. & I'm here for you if you want to continue to blog with me. Post any time & will respond as soon as I see it. I'm on here almost everyday. ok?View Thread
I lost a baby when I was 17. That was 8yrs ago. Now I have 2 daughters. I feared everyday of both pregnancies that something would go wrong again...sometimes I'm still scared something will happen even though they are 3yrs & 1yr. I think everyone handles this differently, but I don't really have any advice...only wanted to say that I will keep you in my thoughts & I hope things work out better for you if you decide to try again.View Thread
When I was 17 (mind you this was 8yrs ago) I lost my baby at 8wks gestation. I had a d/c to & I can honestly say that even though I recovered physically I still haven't completely recovered emotionally. I have 2 daughters now & they are well & healthy after 2 very difficult pregnancies, lots of bed rest, & one being premature. I feared every day of both pregnancies & even now although they are 3yrs & 1yr old. I locked myself in my room for 3months after my loss & would just cry. I didn't want to see anyone at all. I think you're doing better than I did right now. Just take it one day at a time. Eventually it wont be so bad, although you will never forget. Sometimes I still cry & beg my unborn child for forgiveness even though I know it wasn't my fault. Anyway...everyone deals with it differently, you just have to find the way that works for you & if you don't want all the "helpful" people helping you then just be honest & ask them for a little space for now. You need your own grieving period. Sometimes it helps to just have some time to yourself, although probably not as much as I took...that obviously wasn't healthy. I don't really talk about it much....I was just a kid, but telling your story here might help you. I have talked with my husband about it a little, since he didn't even know me at the time he doesn't completely understand but he does his best. I think finding an outlet to just vent everything would be helpful & healthy & this just might be the place for you to do that...maybe even me. I wasn't even planning on responding to any posts...just wanted to check out the community, but I thought about what I went through when I read our post & just wanted to let you know my experience & that life does go on & you will be ok & maybe even have other children if you decide to try again. I'll keep an eye on your post if you want to talk anymore. You will be ok in time & don't let people be pushy with you or overbearing if you really just need the space than stand up for yourself.View Thread