I am seeing a counselor tomorrow. I found out about a program called the Employee Assistance Program (EAP). It allows me 3 free sessions with an in-network counselor. My husband won't go so I am going by myself. I feel I really need to talk to someone.
To update you on everything else, my doctor ran some labs and one came back positive. I have a gene mutation which is related to pregnancy loss. Basically, the genes that deal with folate metabolism are mutated and when I get folate my body dumps like 50% of it instead of taking it in. So my doctor has put me on a megadose of folate to force my body to use more of it. The mutation also causes blood clotting, which they think may be what causes development problems, so the next time I get pregnant my doctor will have me give myself daily injections to thin my blood.
As for me and my husband, we just celebrated our first wedding anniversary and we are trying to move forward. It isn't easy. We have a lot to work on. I hope some counseling will at least help me figure out how to communicate better on my end...I can't of course do anything about the way he is choosing to deal with his own emotions.View Thread
I am so sorry for what you are going through and I can tell you that you are not alone. I have also lost two pregnancies in the past year, the last one I waited for 3 months to have a miscarriage knowing the pregnancy wasn't viable...finally I decided to try medicine which would induce the miscarriage but it didn't work so I ended up having a D&C. I had to have a D&C the first time as well.
I am an extremely sensitive person and there are days it's all I can do to keep from crying. When it overwhelms me I just let myself cry. It is perfectly normal to feel confused and scared and a million other emotions, both because your hormones are trying to balance back out and also because it is such an emotional experience going through something like this. I think the biggest advice I can give you right now is you need to give yourself permission to be human. You are not supposed to bounce right back. There aren't any shortcuts through the grieving process. Believe me, I wish there were.
I don't know if this helps you any, but I just found out about something called the Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Through my husband's health insurance, I am able to use the EAP to receive 3 free sessions with an in-network counselor. I never would have even known about this program if a friend hadn't mentioned it to me. I decided it might really help to talk to someone so I actually scheduled an appointment for tomorrow. I obviously don't know anything about your situation but if you're in the position to take advantage of this benefit it may help.
Regardless, I am here if you need to chat. I am pretty much on the rollercoaster right now too, I have good days and bad days. I don't have any magic answers for you but I understand what you are feeling and my heart goes out to you.View Thread
Two months ago I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum. I was told I could wait to miscarry naturally, use some medicine that would induce a miscarriage but would be really painful, or have a D&C. My husband and I decided we wanted to let my body take care of things naturally so we opted to wait. I've been going in for weekly ultrasounds so my doctor can monitor me closely. I can't believe it's taking this long. This is so unbelievably hard.
I am just wondering if there is anyone else out there who waited to let it happen naturally and had to wait a long time? My doctor says he is now officially impressed with me for hanging in there this long. Most women reach the point where they can't take it any longer and decide to use the medicine or have a D&C by now. This experience is emotionally trying to say the least. There is no closure. I don't understand why my body isn't letting go.View Thread
I am so sorry for your loss. My situation was not at all the normal turn of events and I do not want to make you even more nervous, but I will tell you what ended up happening. We thought I miscarried twice, but it turned out I just passed blood clots. The second time I was so sure it had finally happened because the blood clot was so huge I thought it was the placenta. When they did the ultrasound that week everything was still in there. My doctor finally said it was time to intervene and I needed to make a decision whether to try the medicine or have a D&C. I chose to try the medicine.
I went through 14 hours of labor. It was very painful. I passed a lot of stuff and hoped it was finally over. But when they did another ultrasound everything was still there, it hadn't worked. I had just passed more blood clots. So after all that waiting and after going through the pain of the medicine trying to induce a miscarriage, I ended up having to have a D&C anyway. It's all over now and I really just can't believe everything that happened.
I don't want to scare you with my story, my doctor said he has never had a patient go that long. I am the first he's ever had where this has happened. Most people do miscarry naturally if they opt to wait it out. I know what a difficult and scary decision it is and my heart goes out to you. Big hug.View Thread
Update: we thought I had the miscarriage but it turned out I just passed a giant blood clot. My doctor said it was time to intervene and he wanted me to make a decision whether to try the medicine or have a D&C. I opted to try the medicine. It was very painful. I went through 14 hours of labor and thought at the end it was finally over. Monday I went in for another ultrasound and everything was still there. So the medicine just made me pass more giant blood clots. My doctor said we needed to do a D&C so we scheduled it for Wednesday. It's all over now and I am home resting. My doctor said the placenta was attached so strong, my body just didn't want to let it go.
My husband went out and bought the motorcycle he just had to have right now...he used money from our savings account that we really needed for the D&C. So now I have to pay for it with the money left in savings and everything I worked so hard for will be gone. I am hurt and angry and don't know how to move forward. My husband will now have a monthly payment on this motorcycle. We cannot afford it. He thinks we can. He is causing me so much more stress and I really don't know how to handle it right now. It feels like he cares more about material things than he does his own wife. He says he wants a family but his actions do not back it up. I do not understand what he is thinking.View Thread
It has been two months since I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum and I am still waiting to have a miscarriage. My husband and I made the decision to let it happen naturally both because we think it's best for my body and because the cost of a D&C would be very hard on us right now.
I have been going in for weekly ultrasounds and every week when nothing is happening I am just devastated. My marriage is suffering, my hope is dwindling, and I don't understand why my body isn't letting go. On top of all this, my dog died. I lost my 13 year old cocker spaniel who has been my best friend and source of comfort for so many years.
I am so heartbroken. My husband is dealing with his grief by reverting back to being selfish and thoughtless. He wants to spend money we don't have on buying something for himself he doesn't need. Every time we try to talk about it he gets angry and turns it into a fight. I am now the enemy because I said we need to make responsible decisions, and all he wants to do is buy something material that will make him feel better.
I had no idea a miscarriage could take this long. I just keep getting farther and farther away from my dream. I feel like we are barely hanging on. I don't know what to do anymore.View Thread
Thanks you guys. Right now I am kind of in a daze. As if it's not bad enough knowing there is no baby, now I have to wait for the miscarriage not knowing when it will happen or how bad it will be. My doctor says if it doesn't happen in a few weeks they can give me something to help it along but it will be even more painful. In the meantime, my body still thinks it's pregnant so I still have all the symptoms. Another slap in the face.
I think the only thing keeping me sane right now is the fact that my husband is being so supportive and he says we will keep trying. He finally knows that he wants this too. He keeps saying that he knows it will happen. I hope he's right.
Yesterday I was in a very dark place. I couldn't stop crying. I know I will have bad days, but I am trying so hard to stay focused on getting through this and trying again. My doctor says when it's all over we can run some tests to see if I am carrying antibodies that reject the pregnancies. It's a remote possibility but if I am they can give me medicine to prevent it. I don't know whether to hope for that since it's something they can fix, or hope that so far it just hasn't worked.
I appreciate the support. I know that nobody knows what to say, but just being there for me helps. Thank you.View Thread
I have been diagnosed with a blighted ovum. My doctor says I will miscarry probably within a few weeks. There's no way to know how long it will take. I am heartbroken and in shock. I can't believe this is happening.View Thread
I had my first ultrasound today and I am a nervous wreck. According to the calendar I should be at 6 weeks 2 days, but the sac only measured 5 1/2 weeks and we couldn't see anything inside. The doctor said either it's too early to see anything or I have a blighted ovum. He told us we are going to remain cautiously optimistic and I go in for another ultrasound next Wednesday to see if there is any difference.
I'm trying to stay positive but it's so hard.View Thread
I have wonderful news!!! So February was a very difficult month for me...both because February 7 was my due date and I was depressed about turning 39. My husband and I continued to struggle and I was feeling rather hopeless. But last Monday I suddenly felt a very familiar feeling come over me so I took a pregnancy test and it was POSITIVE!!!
I was so scared to tell my husband because I didn't know how he was going to feel about it. More good news- he is happy!
We are both so scared after what happened last time but I'm trying to stay positive and focus on taking care of myself. I have a doctor's appointment in two weeks and I cannot wait to see that heartbeat. I am just going into my fifth week and so far the biggest change is that I feel tired a lot and I can feel that my uterus has grown. Crossing my fingers!!!