Coping with Pregnancy Loss Community
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To update you on everything else, my doctor ran some labs and one came back positive. I have a gene mutation which is related to pregnancy loss. Basically, the genes that deal with folate metabolism are mutated and when I get folate my body dumps like 50% of it instead of taking it in. So my doctor has put me on a megadose of folate to force my body to use more of it. The mutation also causes blood clotting, which they think may be what causes development problems, so the next time I get pregnant my doctor will have me give myself daily injections to thin my blood.
As for me and my husband, we just celebrated our first wedding anniversary and we are trying to move forward. It isn't easy. We have a lot to work on. I hope some counseling will at least help me figure out how to communicate better on my end...I can't of course do anything about the way he is choosing to deal with his own emotions.View Thread

I am an extremely sensitive person and there are days it's all I can do to keep from crying. When it overwhelms me I just let myself cry. It is perfectly normal to feel confused and scared and a million other emotions, both because your hormones are trying to balance back out and also because it is such an emotional experience going through something like this. I think the biggest advice I can give you right now is you need to give yourself permission to be human. You are not supposed to bounce right back. There aren't any shortcuts through the grieving process. Believe me, I wish there were.
I don't know if this helps you any, but I just found out about something called the Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Through my husband's health insurance, I am able to use the EAP to receive 3 free sessions with an in-network counselor. I never would have even known about this program if a friend hadn't mentioned it to me. I decided it might really help to talk to someone so I actually scheduled an appointment for tomorrow. I obviously don't know anything about your situation but if you're in the position to take advantage of this benefit it may help.
Regardless, I am here if you need to chat. I am pretty much on the rollercoaster right now too, I have good days and bad days. I don't have any magic answers for you but I understand what you are feeling and my heart goes out to you.View Thread

I went through 14 hours of labor. It was very painful. I passed a lot of stuff and hoped it was finally over. But when they did another ultrasound everything was still there, it hadn't worked. I had just passed more blood clots. So after all that waiting and after going through the pain of the medicine trying to induce a miscarriage, I ended up having to have a D&C anyway. It's all over now and I really just can't believe everything that happened.
I don't want to scare you with my story, my doctor said he has never had a patient go that long. I am the first he's ever had where this has happened. Most people do miscarry naturally if they opt to wait it out. I know what a difficult and scary decision it is and my heart goes out to you. Big hug.View Thread

My husband went out and bought the motorcycle he just had to have right now...he used money from our savings account that we really needed for the D&C. So now I have to pay for it with the money left in savings and everything I worked so hard for will be gone. I am hurt and angry and don't know how to move forward. My husband will now have a monthly payment on this motorcycle. We cannot afford it. He thinks we can. He is causing me so much more stress and I really don't know how to handle it right now. It feels like he cares more about material things than he does his own wife. He says he wants a family but his actions do not back it up. I do not understand what he is thinking.View Thread

I am just wondering if there is anyone else out there who waited to let it happen naturally and had to wait a long time? My doctor says he is now officially impressed with me for hanging in there this long. Most women reach the point where they can't take it any longer and decide to use the medicine or have a D&C by now. This experience is emotionally trying to say the least. There is no closure. I don't understand why my body isn't letting go.View Thread

I have been going in for weekly ultrasounds and every week when nothing is happening I am just devastated. My marriage is suffering, my hope is dwindling, and I don't understand why my body isn't letting go. On top of all this, my dog died. I lost my 13 year old cocker spaniel who has been my best friend and source of comfort for so many years.
I am so heartbroken. My husband is dealing with his grief by reverting back to being selfish and thoughtless. He wants to spend money we don't have on buying something for himself he doesn't need. Every time we try to talk about it he gets angry and turns it into a fight. I am now the enemy because I said we need to make responsible decisions, and all he wants to do is buy something material that will make him feel better.
I had no idea a miscarriage could take this long. I just keep getting farther and farther away from my dream. I feel like we are barely hanging on. I don't know what to do anymore.View Thread

I think the only thing keeping me sane right now is the fact that my husband is being so supportive and he says we will keep trying. He finally knows that he wants this too. He keeps saying that he knows it will happen. I hope he's right.
Yesterday I was in a very dark place. I couldn't stop crying. I know I will have bad days, but I am trying so hard to stay focused on getting through this and trying again. My doctor says when it's all over we can run some tests to see if I am carrying antibodies that reject the pregnancies. It's a remote possibility but if I am they can give me medicine to prevent it. I don't know whether to hope for that since it's something they can fix, or hope that so far it just hasn't worked.
I appreciate the support. I know that nobody knows what to say, but just being there for me helps. Thank you.View Thread


I'm trying to stay positive but it's so hard.View Thread

I was so scared to tell my husband because I didn't know how he was going to feel about it. More good news- he is happy!
We are both so scared after what happened last time but I'm trying to stay positive and focus on taking care of myself. I have a doctor's appointment in two weeks and I cannot wait to see that heartbeat. I am just going into my fifth week and so far the biggest change is that I feel tired a lot and I can feel that my uterus has grown. Crossing my fingers!!!
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