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Coping with Pregnancy Loss Community

Only someone who has been there can know exactly what you are feeling after the ... more

Reply: Kinda new to this but hoping it will help

Thank you, ladies. I so appreciate your responses and your support. I am sorry for what...

Posted by Guennie

27 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Kinda new to this but hoping it will help Thank you, ladies. I so appreciate your responses and your support. I am sorry for what...

Reply: Heart Broken

Hi- I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can relate to your pain...I lost a...

Posted by Guennie

13 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Heart Broken Hi- I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can relate to your pain...I lost a...

Reply: Kinda new to this but hoping it will help

Thank you. I will go check out the heartbroken thread. I so appreciate your reply, and to...

Posted by Guennie

27 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Kinda new to this but hoping it will help Thank you. I will go check out the heartbroken thread. I so appreciate your reply, and to...

Reply: Kinda new to this but hoping it will help

Hi, I'm new on here and I was hoping I might find a way to help me cope. Last summer I got...

Posted by Guennie

Hi, I'm new on here and I was hoping I might find a way to help me cope. Last summer I got engaged and we found out a month later I was pregnant. I was not happy at first- I really freaked out actually. We got married the end of June and I moved out of state to be with my husband. So much happened in such a short period of time. I got a migraine in the moving truck on the way to my new home- never had a migraine in my life. Started trying to unpack after arriving and had a horrible fight with my husband over the dog sleeping in the bed...then got another migraine. Long story short, what started as a recurring migraine turned into a migraine that never went away and I was in pain 24/7. Ended up in the er with bleeding and found out I was carrying twins and one of them had stopped developing. Then a week later the OB/GYN discovered the other had lost the heartbeat as well. I was stuck in bed for over a month because of the migraine and I couldn't even take care of myself. I ended up having a D&C after losing the pregnancy because my body just wasn't letting go. This was end of July.

At first my husband was supportive. I realized how much I wanted a baby from this experience, and he had wanted the baby too. He had been very happy about the pregnancy from day one. But when I wasn't healing after losing the pregnancy he changed. I ended up having to go to a neurologist to get rid of the migraine. Then I had to go back to the OB/GYN because I was getting a period every other week. My body wasn't getting back to normal on it's own. The OB/GYN put me on birth control pills to try to kick start my body back into a regular cycle.

My husband lost his mom last March, and he never had a chance to work through her death before all of this happened. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past five months and he is not able to be there for me emotionally. He doesn't want to ever talk about what happened or think about whether he wants to try again. I am going to be 39 next month and I am so scared I won't have the chance to become a mother.

Anyway, I know this is a little disjointed and I apologize, but I am so stressed out and I feel like my husband does not understand my grieving process. I have been off the birth control pills now for 3 weeks and he will not talk to me about wanting to try again but we are not using any protection...it's pretty confusing. I keep thinking that must mean deep down he really does still want to have a baby if he is taking that risk. But on the other hand, he is hardly ever in the mood so I guess our chances aren't that high.

I have started looking for work because my husband is upset that I'm not working, but all I can do is think about how much I want to have a family and be a mother. I know I'm not supposed to say I don't want to work, and it sounds terrible, but I don't. I wanted to have a baby and be a mom. I have worked as a nanny for over 20 years taking care of other people's families and I am ready for a family of my own. I'm trying to give my husband the space and time he needs because I know he has a lot of feelings of his own to work through even though he doesn't want to talk about it. I just wish men and women worked through this stuff the same way. I need to be close to him and he needs space. It's so unfair.

I keep seeing friends announcing pregnancies and other friends or family members are having babies and it is breaking my heart. I am happy for them, but I feel like everyone is allowed to have a baby but me. I am trying to find ways to relax because I can't help wondering if all the stress contributed to my miscarriage. I worry about everything, including what if I actually can't get pregnant again or what if something is actually wrong with me and even if I get pregnant I have another miscarriage...I know I need to try to be positive but it's so hard.

So I could use a good support group while I go through this.View Thread

Posted byGuennie

27 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Kinda new to this but hoping it will help Hi, I'm new on here and I was hoping I might find a way to help me cope. Last summer I got...

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