On Sunday June 17, 2012 I was exactly 5 months pregnant. That morning I woke up with blood all over when I went to the bathroom. My husband and I rushed to the hospital and I was put through tons of tests. They did an ultrasound and couldn't find our babies heart beat. They informed me that our baby had passed away at approximately 14 weeks. I was given the choice of a D&C or have an induced delivery. We chose to induce and deliver the baby. Our son was delivered on June 18, 2012 at 2:10 am. We were given the option to see our son and hold his body. We sat with the nurse and held our sons little 6 ounce body. The nurse explained to us that his skin had formed over the skull before his brain had developed all the way, so his brain started forming on the left side of his neck. He also hadn't formed eyelids. The nurse explained that they had never seen anything like that before especially from a pregnancy that was going so smoothly. It bothers me that they couldn't find the cause of our childs deformity. It has been almost 3 weeks since I was released from the hospital and I feel like I've been doing very well. I break down every once in a while. I feel like I'm a bad person for how I'm dealing with things. I feel guilty and I can't help it. I don't understand why our child was taken away from us. I feel like I've done something horribly wrong to have my child taken away from me. I keep repeatedly asking myself what I did to deserve this. I'm having the hardest time finding someone who understands what I'm going through.View Thread
thank you. it does make me feel a lot better knowing there are other women who have been through this type of thing. it's very hard for me and i see in my husband it is even harder on him. he keeps blaming himself saying it was his fault for what happened. i don't quite understand how he thinks it was his fault. maybe that's his way of grieving over our loss.View Thread
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