What would be the point of telling her? All that would do would strengthen your feelings toward her, and if you aren't in a position to act upon those feelings, then I would do my best to squelch them if at all possible. It's not worth ruining a happy marriage over.View Thread
Hey y'all, I know it's been awhile since you've seen me. I guess a lot has happened since I posted last. November the fam and I moved from the east coast to the west coast to be near family. In early December I found out I was pregnant. We were excited to be having a baby while living so close to my family. Last week I miscarried. I ended up hemorrhaging really badly and had to go to ER for an emergency D&C because I was going into shock from blood loss. Then the same day they discharged me I went back to ER for chest pain and found out I had a pulmonary embolism (clot in the lung). So now I am on blood thinners for 6 months and can't try again for pregnancy until they're finished. After the miscarriage they told me no sex for 6 weeks! Argh. Already I wish that wasn't the case, just to have some comfort with DH. But I suppose we will survive. Feel like my life has been turned upside down. I think about the loss all the time whereas I feel like DH is pretty much over it and maybe thinks in the back of his head that I'm going overboard with wanting to get little mementos to remind me of the baby. I named the baby, I have a friend who is making a tiny wooden cradle for the baby that I will paint, I bought a teddy bear to remind me of the baby and I sleep with it at night, I bought some little baby booties and a set of newborn binkies. I might do a painting and also knit a tiny sweater. I also want to buy a necklace off a website that has a special section for infant loss/miscarriage jewelry. Just something to wear near my heart to remember him or her by. I don't know if it was a boy or girl, and I'm sad I didn't get to say goodbye. I was hoping to miscarry naturally at home so I could see it but ended up having the D&C. It saved my life, but I still wish it could have been different. Anyway I feel like I don't have a lot of people to talk to and I thought of you guys.View Thread
So I had the Mirena put in yesterday and it wasn't that bad at all. Crampy feeling when they put it in but not terrible and not too bad afterwards either. I was worried I'd be crampy all day and not up to taking care of my 2 year old but it was fine.View Thread
I had my OB/GYN appointment today to followup to the miscarriage. Good news is, I'm cleared to have sex again! Yippee! The sort of not so good news is I'm going to have to have an IUD (Mirena). Not too thrilled with that as I thought I could just go on the pill again for the 6 months we have to wait to try again. But I guess with the pill it slightly increases your risk of blood clots, and since I have/had a blood clot already that's not acceptable. Since the Mirena delivers low-dose hormones directly to the uterus it won't affect me like a pill version would. So, next on the list is to go get that put in. Ugh not looking forward to it very much. But, I don't want to be getting pregnant right now as an unexpected pregnancy right now could put me at risk for more blood clots, or the pregnancy might end up another miscarriage since the blood thinners I'm on can be fatal to a fetus. Yay (ugh).View Thread
Thanks, everyone. BalconyBelle, I hear you about the cuddling, only problem is hubby works nights so we don't get a lot of time together in bed. At least, not while we're both awake.
I'm kind of frustrated we have to wait 6 months to try again, because I'd like to try sooner than that. But, it's probably best for my body anyway to wait.
FCL, I say I think because at first he was very supportive and basically told me that whatever I needed to do, I should do it (as far as grieving, buying the stuffed animal, etc) but when I mentioned naming the baby he said something about not overdoing it. Then he said he's pretty much over it. At the same time, he's having trouble sleeping, is distant/withdrawn and spending a lot of time on the computer. He's acting pretty stressed out still. We talked last night and he said that he feels lonely and isolated, since his work is a solo type of job (truck driver). I think he is having trouble dealing with everything but isn't sure how to express it. I'm not sure if it's the baby loss or the scare of feeling like he could lose me a couple times. Anyway he's not really forthcoming with any of this so I sort of have to pry it out of him. At least I know he's not completely "over" it yet. I'm having a hard time sharing anything with him anymore since he decided to not participate in naming the baby. Around the same time as that conversation, my sister told me I shouldn't read other womens' stories about it, that it would just make me sadder, and to not "wallow in grief". Wow thanks, less than a week afterward I should be already on the upswing? Right now reading other womens' stories helps because it gives me a sense of connectedness to others who have had the same thing happen. Anyway so if you subtract out my husband and my sister, those are the people I tell the most to. But I've had some supportive girlfriends that have let me talk. I feel like most people are going to get tired of hearing about it though. Thanks for listening!View Thread