Interesting how you described him as having a gray cloud over his head. That's exactly what depression does to someone. They look at the world and all their experiences through darkened glasses. I wonder if his depression is not being adequately managed. He might want to get re-evaluated by his doctor.
Your daughter probably feels sorry for him, and I'm guessing the way she acts while he's there (not as much fun) is because he's down and out and she is sort of acting in step with his mood. I do that too with people, if they are quiet I talk more quietly, if they are excited and bubbly I will laugh and smile more, if they are somber I act accordingly. It feels jarring to be loud and boisterous when I know the other person is sad. I'm just guessing that's what she's doing, trying to be kind to him and not be laughing so much when he's down.
Sounds like you have a fun weekend ahead of you! Enjoy it!
Me and the fam are getting ready to head for the airport, we're flying to OR to visit my family there. I'll be there for two weeks so y'all might not see me around much.View Thread
I am a nerd right along with you, MCK! I love Star Trek, and my husband does too. My favorite is "The Next Generation" though. Just something about Jean-Luc Picard, he was the best captian I think in all the different Star Trek series. But the oldies are good too. Did you see the newer-ish movie that came out that was sort of like a "prequel" to the original series?View Thread
Oh hey BTW, pyridium (Azo/Uristat) are not painkillers. It's a drug that helps calm the bladder spasms that can be so painful during a UTI. So you don't have to worry about that, they will not help with pain anywhere else in your body, and are not for the purpose of numbing the sensations or anything like that. It just calms those spasms and, consequently, the UTI doesn't hurt so much. Just in case this helps you!View Thread
I would ask your counselor privately if it would be wise to bring it up at all. I'm not sure how it would help to bring it up in front of him in the first place. Other than for you to get clarification of what really happened. But I'd ask your counselor first if that would be wise.
I agree about the bubble bath thing, I've always gotten lots of UTI's growing up because I have double kidneys & ureters. Bubble baths were always off limits for me, because they can induce a UTI. What can help is to put a 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar in a bath and soak in that. The vinegar can help kill off any bacteria in that area. Also do you know about Azo or Uristat? You could check with your doc and see if you can take one of those, the medication in them is called pyridium, all it does is ease the pain of the UTI while the antibiotics are working. Just helps get you through the worst of it while you're waiting for the meds to do their job.
About the thing with hubby, that is not lying in any way to say you have "other plans" instead of just being at home. That's a tactful way to decline without being rude. And your husband should absolutely go without you. Husbands and wives need time apart to relax, grow, reflect, and then miss each other a little bit. When they spend every waking moment together it can suffocate one or both spouses. We need our time away, to laugh with girlfriends (or hubby with guy friends), to spread our wings a little bit. It's not healthy to expect your spouse to do every little thing together.View Thread
That is strange, like you I can see the other thread when I pull you up by name, but it's not in the list on the main page. Weird.
Anyway, IDK about this, of course you want the best for your daughter, but she has to make her own decisions. At the same time, I don't think it's bad to involve this guy in some stuff around the place. I think if he were to be wanting to be in your good graces he needs to step up to the plate anyway. So telling him he needs to help out a little I don't think would be overstepping it.View Thread
Thanks so much for the kind word, it means a lot. I think you are a great guy, and hope you find just the right woman for you. Sometimes when I was single it felt like I was just too weird ("unique" might be a better way to put it) and that I'd never find anyone like me or who understood me. Well I did find someone like that, and we understand each other very well. So don't give up hope if this one just ain't "the One".View Thread
Steph, I think you also need to be aware that some people approach life differently than you. You seem to approach it as if everything is cut and dried--there is one right answer, every time. There is right, and there is wrong---and nothing in between. Black & white. I understand that in some ways; my sister is like that. BUT--please keep in mind there are other personalities out there that may clash with yours from time to time. I myself am more of an artistic type, I gave up on life being black & white a long time ago. My emotions are way more involved in my decision-making than (I believe) yours are. There are benefits and drawbacks to every personality type. Just because MCK isn't looking at this in a B&W way doesn't mean she's wrong. I believe she is looking at this from her heart. She wants to understand they why's...I can relate. I've always wanted to know the why's in life. Why does stuff happen...why do people do things the way they do them...what were they thinking when they did that...what are they thinking now. I like to be able to read people and I'm happiest when I feel I have my two fingers on their emotional pulse (so to speak). Sometimes there is more to life than just right and wrong. I'm not saying it's ok to go on doing something wrong just because it feels right. But I'm just saying it can be more complex than a simple yes or no answer.
I just hope you can try to appreciate people's different coping methods and ways of dealing with life's hard questions instead of attacking their position and trying to sabotage the process. Because, it is a process--a process of waking up to the reality, and then once you are fully aware of it, formulating a plan and then getting the courage to execute that plan.
Anxiety and depression factor heavily into decision making. They can make even the simplest decision seem like a giant mountain looming in front of you. They can make your brain feel like it was mired in mud and just make you so tired you don't care what happens one way or the other. It takes a huge amount of energy to overcome this mental block. And then when you do that thing that was so hard to do you're just tired all over again when it's done. Sometimes even more so than when you started.
Please Steph, have a little heart here. Have you ever been depressed? I'm thinking not, see my sister has never been depressed (or at least never admitted to it) and I think she doesn't understand what it's like. I can try to explain it to her but she just doesn't get it. But I get it--because I've been there. I think it's just something you have to experience.
I suppose my first kiss with DH wasn't that stellar. It was simple and short. But I was wanting to kiss him so bad that it was really awesome when it happened. Then it was just one kiss and it left me wanting more. So I think it really depends on how you feel about that person. I think DH isn't actually quite as good a kisser as another guy I dated. But that doesn't matter to me. Well, I mean it would be nice if he was more into kissing---he's not. But that doesn't make or break the relationship.View Thread