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Couples Coping Support Group

If you need a place to discuss, get feedback, or some advise on relationship, ... more

Reply: My "Parents"

Happy Belated Birthday! Sounds like it was simply awesome So I was thinking about all...

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Posted by tmlmtlrl

12 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:My "Parents" Happy Belated Birthday! Sounds like it was simply awesome So I was thinking about all...

Reply: Question for those who have dealt with the death o...

I don't really have much time right now but just saw this and feel compelled to reply. ...

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Posted by tmlmtlrl

10 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Question for those who have dealt with the death of a parent... I don't really have much time right now but just saw this and feel compelled to reply. ...

Reply: Thoughts for new marriage?

This has all been a very good discussion. I totally agree with making sure you keep your...

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Posted by tmlmtlrl

14 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Thoughts for new marriage? This has all been a very good discussion. I totally agree with making sure you keep your...

Reply: Scheduling sex

It really seems to me that you need to put your foot down. I don't know what else you...

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Posted by tmlmtlrl

48 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Scheduling sex It really seems to me that you need to put your foot down. I don't know what else you...

Reply: Scheduling sex

It would be nice for her to get into counseling and the both of you. If you get her to the...

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Posted by tmlmtlrl

48 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Scheduling sex It would be nice for her to get into counseling and the both of you. If you get her to the...

Reply: Scheduling sex

Just to clarify, I don't think that you're a pig or ungrateful husband at all. I believe...

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Posted by tmlmtlrl

48 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Scheduling sex Just to clarify, I don't think that you're a pig or ungrateful husband at all. I believe...

Reply: Scheduling sex

Oh yeah, as far as this "scheduling sex" idea, I think you need to scrap that. I believe...

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Posted by tmlmtlrl

48 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Scheduling sex Oh yeah, as far as this "scheduling sex" idea, I think you need to scrap that. I believe...

Reply: Scheduling sex

"....I do know somethjg will set me off but don't know what that could be." You keep...

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Posted by tmlmtlrl

48 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Scheduling sex "....I do know somethjg will set me off but don't know what that could be." You keep...

Reply: Scheduling sex

Wow, you are being way too logical and not at all emotional with her. She truly feels...

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Posted by tmlmtlrl

Wow, you are being way too logical and not at all emotional with her.

She truly feels beneath you and that nothing she does will be close to satisfactory. She needs your empathy. She needs compassion and love and encouragement.

She probably feels that if she was to be diagnosed as bi-polar that you would then feel as though she's definitely not good enough. Like you would say "ah ha I knew it, she's not competent".

It sounds as though she may be depressed not bi-polar. That depression seems brought on by the interaction of your relationship over the years.

Your logical A plus B = C attitude is killing her! I know it makes the most sense to you. Can you try really listening and hearing the things she does say to you. It seems as though she has said very important things to you that you completely overlook because it just doesn't fit the formula in your brain.

For instance this idea of her telling you to go find another woman who would be worthy of you. You actually think she means you should leave and you then explain to her how and why that is not the logical answer!! OMG! She's grasping at straws. She's looking for her husband to tell her that she is the only one for you, that she IS good enough!

You seem very matter of fact, and I'm not trying to condemn you for that. All I'm trying to say is that you two have very different ways of communicating and it would serve you well to try to understand hers.

I can empathize with your wife. My husband is an incredible man. He works hard. If something needs to be done he does it. If the kids need a ride he's there. If someone asks of him he's there. No complaining, it's just life. It's what you do (for him). It's not that easy for me. A plus B doesn't just = C for me. It's not that easy. But what I can say is that my husband brings out the best in me. He makes me want to always do my best and be my best, and I often feel as though I fall short. The big difference is that he also tunes into me. He hugs me, loves me, reassures me.

We often tell each other Thank You for the smallest simplest things we do in every day life. We both want that acknowledgement and encouragement. We need it.

You need to tune in to your wife. Stop making her your equal. I know that doesn't sound right. I'm saying she's NOT YOU. It takes a lot for her to make it thru the day and she needs things from you that you have not been giving her. She needs to see love in your eyes, not resentment. She needs you to hold her hand and say it's gonna be alright. Give her a hug and say you'll always love her.

Those are the kind of things that will make her feel connected and not alone. The kinds of things that will make her want to make love to you again. She feels so small and inadequate that she probably don't know why you want to have sex except to get your rocks off and I'm sure that's not a turn on for her.View Thread

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Posted bytmlmtlrl

48 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Scheduling sex Wow, you are being way too logical and not at all emotional with her. She truly feels...

Reply: Help with having a very difficult discussion

I've wondered this before but always brushed it aside -- What happened 5 years ago? Maybe...

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Posted by tmlmtlrl

20 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Help with having a very difficult discussion I've wondered this before but always brushed it aside -- What happened 5 years ago? Maybe...

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