I do have an understanding of how sex frequency changes over time in a relationship, and how it can affect a persons self esteem.
We all tend to go over the top pleasing our new mate in the beginning of a relationship...there's mystery, lust, heightened senses, all things say "this is freakin awesome, I want more!". It feels good being loved, wanted, and cared for. Those feelings carry over for a period of time until we reach a comfort zone with the other person...that's when things start to level off a bit. It feels like things have changed, but really we become comfortable enough to let our hair down a little. I think that may be what you are experiencing with your bf.
Maybe its time to stop expecting him and/or asking him to give you something he can't. Put your big girl pants on and lay it on the line what your needs are in such a way that doesn't put him on the defensive. Put the ball in his court for him to decide what he can give you. Then take your next steps from there.View Thread
I agree with what cto312, and a few others have said. The word that caught my attention is "insecure". Security comes from within...the only person you can change is yourself. People are capable of changing but it is not his responsibility to change for you, only for himself. He can choose to be supportive of you on his own accord...he is acting in a way that is natural for him and it doesn't feel good enough. Asking him to give you something he cannot and making it an expectation is quite possibly sending a message of unacceptance to him. He doesn't want to disappoint you, my guess is he may be telling you what you want to hear to appease you.It makes sense to me why at times he would send a message of rejection back at you. That may be the only way he feels he can express the reality of his feelings with you. Even if he doesn't mean it now, eventually this issue could bring him to a breaking point.
Have you thought about counselling for yourself? I think it would help for you to explore what's behind your negative self-image and insecurity.
I'm curious if the pot smoking and plunge in sexual activity coincides with the beginning expressions of this issue w/bf?
Not putting everything on you...your bf seems to have issues he is struggling with also. Its up to him to take responsibility for himself. I wish you both the best!View Thread
I think though the real test is would I be comfortable doing it if hubby was reading what I was typing. And I wouldn't. So I guess that answers that. Remind yourself of this EVERY time you decide to chat. I always keep tabs on myself and how emotionally involved I am with chat friends and not let it get too far as far as my heart goes. Please do not kid yourself...your husband has a legitimate concern and he has expressed his worry with you. It may seem under control, even fun and games now. If you and your husband don't get this out in the open for discussion and resolution, your desire to seek what's missing in your life will continue to grow - unbeknowst to the man you are married to. He's putting a great deal of faith in you...think about what you are potentially inviting into your marriage. It sounds like you realize there is potential for disaster...I'd like to suggest side-stepping temptation by not putting yourself in the position for resisting it in the first place. I understand your need for a social outlet. Why do you need to chat with men and engage in discussions of a sexual nature? I also understand your need for sexual fulfillment. When your husband gets home tonight, make love with him!View Thread
We felt it in NH...I was at work discussing a project with a collegue when another collegue called out "did you feel the earthquake?" At that moment the guy I was talking with was looking intently at his computer moniters...that's when I noticed they were shaking. A few seconds later I felt the next shockwave. Ten minutes later we learned it had originated in VA!View Thread