It took a while before my son could call home. He called us once he got to Basic just to inform us he made it safely then it was a couple/three weeks after before he could make his first "official" phone call home (he was able to call home on Thanksgiving thanks to the family who "adopted" him for Turkey Day). Recruits are expected to earn the right to make phone calls and write letters. Stay positive! No news is good news
My son joined the military (Air Force) a year and a half ago and it's been a great ride for all of us. It's tough seeing your kids leaving the house knowing they're going out on their own. But the pride you feel when you know they succeed is great. When my son graduated basic training, it was especially emotional for both of us. I'm nearing the end of my military career (retire this year) and he's just beginning his. To me it equates to a changing of the guard or passing of the torch.
It does get easier! Believe the transformation you will see in your son at graduation is awesome. Good luck to you and your sonView Thread
Absolutely agree. Counseling should be for both of you and not just him.
Best of luck in the future. Reading your initial post, it sounds as if he had a "coming to Jesus" moment when he left while the other girl was out of the room. This leads me to believe, he truly understands the severity of the situation and is willing to make things right. Trust is an easy thing to get but can be extremely difficult to get back if lost. Keep working on it, stay focused and work this out together.View Thread
Actually it's not too bad according to my wife. I actually will spray it on and a wait a few minutes to take affect (we engage some in making out, foreplay, etc) and by then it's usually absorbed into my skin. My wife has mentioned a couple of times that it seems like it's desensitized her (she says it makes her vagina tingle a little sometimes) a little but it's usually if we rushed and didn't allow it to absorb in enough. I suggested we try the condoms but she's not a fan of condoms. And usually for us, the pro's of using the spray outweigh the con's since I'm able to really increase the tempo, duration and intensity which tends to really get her going. The only negative I would throw out there about the spray is my orgasms are usually not as intense. I've had that same affect whether I use the spray or another brand of desensitizing gel. But if I'm using either it's because it's more about my wife really being able to enjoy our love-making than it is about me. View Thread
Jeune1 said: j2011 - Good question, yes I have. He will go on walks with me, he won't join a gym because it costs too much. I've invited him to my work out class but he says he doesn't time. That's all I can see to do that wouldn't constitute nagging. Thanks for your suggestion about the spray. I'd never heard of it either. As for our relationship ... Meh? We've probably had five arguments that involved raised voices in the entire time we've been together. We get along. I think he's very funny. He just thinks I'm weird. He's sweet and beautiful. We like to do things together. I don't want to hurt him.
I can somewhat relate to the disinterest in working out. My wife is not fat but she has put on a few pounds since we met. I did as well but started working out. I tried to encourage her to workout with me but she always seemed disinterested or would start then get burned out after one or two workout sessions. The angle I now use is for the same reasons you state about your husband: her health. She has very unhealthy cholesterol levels. For a while she was a walking time-bomb. Stressful job, doesn't eat right, smoked, didn't exercise and has some family history of heart disease. I was finally able to convince her she needed to exercise for health reasons. As did her doctor. We've since started back at the gym, we both quit smoking, she no longer has a high stress job and we both try to watch what we eat. So this may be the angle you need (if you haven't already) to get your husband back to working out. And if he does, you both might find his ED starts to diminish. And if all else fails, a serious sit-down face-to-face with your husband may be in order. He may not fully realize the negative effect it's having. He may be, for lack of a better descriptions, fat, dumb and happy with how things are and doesn't fully understand your feelings on things.View Thread
I actually hold some of the same sentiment as stephs. It sounds like there is more to this story. But I digress....
On his "weight problem". Have you made any attempts at all to help him get back in shape? Do you try to encourage him? Do you offer/suggest that you two take a walk together? Ride bikes? Join a gym?
What is the rest of your relationship like?
As for the PE, I use a spray product called Premjact that tends to help me. In fact a few times, I've tired myself out way before I ejaculate. My wife and I prefer the spray since she doesn't enjoy using condoms.View Thread
The only person who can tell you when the time is right is you.
I divorced my 1st wife about 13 years ago. For me, it came down to an ultimatum. I tried like crazy to save our marriage but she made a choice to move to another state. It was when she made that choice that I decided it would be over. I simply told her as soon as she pulls out of that driveway, there is no going back. It was extremely hard seeing my two young kids leaving with her but in the end, it was the best choice and the right choice. I now could see the light at the end of the tunnel. No more wasted nights wondering "what if" or "what should I have done" or "what can I do". It was as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulder.
About a month later, my "soon-to-be" ex wife at the time, came back to town with the idea we could work on our marriage. She was in for a rude awakening. I made it clear to her it was over and it would stay that way. It felt good knowing that I was now in control. About 2 years later, I re-married to a woman who I absolutely adore and cherish! She is one of the best things to ever happen to me (aside from the birth of my kids).
As for the kids, my kids were very young and yes it was hard (my oldest started crying one night when I drove them home because he didn't want me and his mommy to divorce). In the long run, they adapted extremely well-better than I could have expected actually-and show no ill effects from divorce. In fact my oldest son, now 20, sent me a nice text one night saying he now understands why we divorced and he's happy things turned out the way they did. Kids are resilient and they'll get thru it. It won't be easy, but they'll get thru it.
The decision whether to divorce or not is not an easy one, especially in situations similar to yours (I've loosely followed your posts).
Have you had a serious one-on-one, coming to Jesus, no holds barred talk with your wife to let her know exactly how you're feeling? Have you consider a long separation first?View Thread