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Couples Coping Support Group

If you need a place to discuss, get feedback, or some advise on relationship, ... more

Reply: Depressed Husband

You going back to therapy is a good idea but it still may not fix the problem. I...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

22 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Depressed Husband You going back to therapy is a good idea but it still may not fix the problem. I...

Reply: Depressed Husband

Choice, Therapy has different effects on everyone...and if you find the right...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

22 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Depressed Husband Choice, Therapy has different effects on everyone...and if you find the right...

Reply: Depressed Husband

Well I am glad to hear that he sought some type of help in the past. I would...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

22 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Depressed Husband Well I am glad to hear that he sought some type of help in the past. I would...

Reply: Depressed Husband

Choice, I am sorry to hear about the struggles you are going thru with your...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

22 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Depressed Husband Choice, I am sorry to hear about the struggles you are going thru with your...

Reply: opinions on pornography and marriage

Your not a controlling or jealous person? You get pissed if he looks at woman in...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

Your not a controlling or jealous person? You get pissed if he looks at woman in a bra? That means he cant even read the sunday paper because of the jcpenney adds. Like I said before, i dont doubt that your attractive, but the fact that you keep bringing that up makes me wonder about your self-esteem. Im not saying your husband is a bad man, he is a bad ass for being a roughneck on an oil rig. So for those 3 weeks, he is surrounded by other men and i am sure when he gets to come home he is more than happy to see you and your sexual frequency shows that. But saying that a man or woman for that matter cant enjoy the human body to some degree is absurd, its not human nature. We are physical beings, you see a guy with a ripped body in an underwear ad or your husband see's a girl in a bikini. There is no harm in that. From what i have experience marriage is about compromise, if you see that your husband watches porn...why not have a conversation about it and ask him why he watches it. Some adult films are tastefully done and many couples enjoy watching it together, to spice up their intimate life.

As for your theory on why marriages lasted in the 30s/40s...because there was no porn is crazy. The reason those marriages lasted was because they didnt give up and fought for each other. Marriages end today because people now look for the easy way out and dont know how to fight for their spouse. Ask any couple who has been married for over 40 or 50 years(yes i know thats after the 30/40s) and ask them what kept them together...they talked things out and didnt go to bed angry. They had porn in the 30/40's but they also had something called brothel's...which is much worse, porn your screwing yourself...at a brothel its the real deal.

Now if you want to make the arguement that women were more dependent during that time period and they didnt have choice to leave because many of them where home makers, i would agree with that. Women over the years have fought for their deserved independence and that is something to be extremely proud of and as time went on, they realized that they dont "need" a man to provide for them. So it has become more of a companionship thing versus a need, to be married. So when he/she screws up...its easier to cut and run, because both of them have good jobs and can sustain a life on their own.

One last question...Is a "porn addiction" gender biased? or can women get it too?View Thread

Posted by1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

27 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:opinions on pornography and marriage Your not a controlling or jealous person? You get pissed if he looks at woman in...

Reply: opinions on pornography and marriage

Janey, All 3point14 did was state her opinion, which she is obviously entitled...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

27 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:opinions on pornography and marriage Janey, All 3point14 did was state her opinion, which she is obviously entitled...

Reply: Guidance please

Wantha, I am sorry to hear that your ex cheated on you. As for her caring for...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Guidance please Wantha, I am sorry to hear that your ex cheated on you. As for her caring for...

Reply: What's the real way love MEN

I agree, you should never settle into anything, you are a very smart and driven...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

I agree, you should never settle into anything, you are a very smart and driven woman and you want a successful career. Why shouldnt the same hold true for your personal relationships? I am glad to hear that you have learned from past mistakes, many people have not...me included. I dont know if you date at all, from what I am reading, it sounds like your not. If thats the case its hard to gather any type of information about someone. If i was interested in you for example, id really appreciate the up front information that you are really career driven and that you dont want to rush into anything. That you would feel comfortable taking things slowly and see where things go over time. By doing that you get your expectations out into the open and if he is not willing to go that route, you dont waste any more of your time, or his. As for evaluating compatability, that takes time, the first few dates nerves are playing a role and crazy things may happen(spills, stumbles, etc). Have you consider trying online dating? They take your likes and dislikes and try to match you with people who are compatible...could be worth a shot.

You refered to road blocks that are out of your control, that are keeping you from the career you want. We all have obstacles we need to over come and often times its a boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse that can be the most supportive of your dreams. They can keep you on task and help push you to be the best you can be. Are you currently employed? I am working a job that i do enjoy, but yet it is not my ideal career. I am not embarassed by my job, but it can effect my confidence, so i know what you mean. But not for a moment do i think that my job has any influence on who i date or who may find me attractive. If someone is going to judge you for your profession, they dont deserve your time, period! But unfortunately, we have a way of convincing ourselves that the reason that person left or didnt call was because of our job...or what ever our biggest insecurity is. The mind is a very very strong thing and if we let it get out of control, we have a long battle to reclaim ourselves. I urge you to try and get out there and date, you will meet all types and you will waste your time on occasion. But you will develop a keen sense for what you want out of a man, the same as you have done for your chosen career. And never stop working on you, your all you got and no one can take that away

Best of luck!

ICView Thread

Posted by1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

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Reply: What's the real way love MEN

Green, First off there is nothing wrong with wanting to be indepenent and self...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

Green,

First off there is nothing wrong with wanting to be indepenent and self sufficient. Times have changed a great deal from the 40s and 50s to today. To be honest I for one find it very attractive if a woman is independent. It shows drive and dedication to success and if you want to start a family, both parents need to have that drive to make it all work. As you stated you want to be able to support yourself, especially in the off chance that god forbid something happens to your spouse, illness etc. and you need to pick up the financial slack. If you already have an established career the burdon will be greatly reduced. So kudos to you.

As for your question, you could ask 100 different men and get 100 different answers and im sure the same holds true for women as well. Each person is unique in their wants and desires in a mate. For me personally, i am sad to say, that i am still sorting out what i really want/need in a partner. But i know what love means to me. Complete honesty, what happened in the past should not effect a current relationship, we all have regrets and skeletons in our lives, the most important thing is to learn from those mistakes and grown from them. Someone who is affectionate, sometimes a hug can turn your day around. Seperation of our lives...what i mean is that we had friends before the relationship began and just because we are in a relationship doesnt mean we need to forget the people who brought us to where we are in our lives. A guys weekend or girls weekend is a much needed break, remember absence makes the heart grow fonder. if you cant let your spouse or SO go out of town or out on the town with his friends, it shows a trust issue which is huge. Obviously trust doesnt develop overnight, it is earned. But once your there, you should be able to bring your worlds together and coexist. This next one is going to sound super cheesy but to me it is important...quick communication. So many times in the past i have sent a text to my gf and it has taken days to respond...DAYS! i know people are busy and i get that, but if we are in a relationship, id hope to hear a response in the same day. thats more of a pet peeve than anything. The whole point of love to me, is finding that right person that you can share your life with. We both made it this far in life on our own and we should be able to proceed on our own if it doesnt work out. Hence why i find independence so admirable. Two great lives should come together to form and amazing partnership, upon which only the sky is the limit. You should support your spouse in their dreams and wants...obviously certain things may be a little out ther, but hey humor me

But you also should be able to keep each other grounded with your sights set on future goals; family, financial, retirement, etc. And if we are going to disagree which we will...fight it out...solve the issue before it festers and lead to resentment. Your fighting for what you believe is right and the first thing for a successful relationship is compromise. So find a way to make both sides happy and if one makes a bigger concession than the other, you own them one.

I hope that babel made some type of sense

best of luck!

ICView Thread

Posted by1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

6 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:What's the real way love MEN Green, First off there is nothing wrong with wanting to be indepenent and self...

Reply: My "Parents"

PI, Awesome job on the breakthrough! they can be very inspiring and if someone...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

12 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:My "Parents" PI, Awesome job on the breakthrough! they can be very inspiring and if someone...

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