Hi, I'm a 21 year old guy. This is my first post, I signed up today so that I could ask for some advice on my situation. I apologize before hand if my story is kind of scatter-brained.
So to start off, my fiance and I have been together for over 1 year now, we've lived together with our 2 cats and 1 dog for over 7 months. Everything is amazing, except for one aspect of the relationship. The sex. Before 5 months ago, we were having sex 5 times a week, sometimes 2 times a day. I was SO good with that. But then the frequency in which we have sex changed drastically. What is important to note, is that before my fiance, sex was just a task and I never was really into it at all with other women. It didn't really mean anything to me. Now, with her, I can't get enough of her. It's so much more important to me now. Sex has never been that important to her, but with me, it became more important to her as well. Just not to the same degree as me.
One contributing factor to the decrease in sex, is the fact that something is physically wrong with her vagina. She has been to her gynecologist a few times now, and the doctor has yet to determine what the problem is. It makes sex uncomfortable for her and sometimes painful. I'd say 7 times out of 10 is uncomfortable for her. And that is off and on, sometimes she'll be fine, others she'll be very uncomfortable.
So knowing this, I don't initiate anything anymore. I like to start things with her, get her all riled up. I miss doing that. And then if she starts anything, in the back of my mind I'm thinking "Is it worth it? Will she be ok? Does she even really want to or is she just trying to make me feel better?"
She knows that it bothers me so much that we're not having sex as much, it's about 1 time every 8 to 10 days. It's still amazing when it happens, but now it is so few and far in between that I get frustrated after about 4 or 5 days and my whole mood just drops.
I know she still wants me, but it feels as if she does not. And that feeling alone is enough to drive me crazy. I don't know what my question is within all of this. But I know I want to make this better, but I don't know how.View Thread
Thanks, her doctor prescribed her a cream to use. But it's the exact same thing she had been using before, except the one she has already been using is an ointment. She is going to call today to see if it is any different than the cream she just got. We still don't know what the problem is though, to be honest that's what is bothering me the most now. So I just have to wait.View Thread
We used to not use condoms at all, now we're back to using them which she says has helped. I honestly can't pin point why sex is so crucial to me now, I wish it wasn't because I'm tired of losing sleep and arguing over this.View Thread
Looking at all 3 of those afflictions, they all sound like what she could have. From what she has told me, here are her symptoms. (by the way, she is getting in touch with her doctor today again to hopefully find out anything new or useful.) Itchy, irritated, it's off and on, it can get worse after sex, and the one symptom that she has told me that stands out the most is this: "little cuts inside her vagina".
And to answer @Queston I've told her that I love her so much, and that I love to have sex with her, she knows that. It just bothers her that I get so upset that we're not having sex as much. I haven't told her in those words that I'm weirded out and mix emotions, but that is true. I guess I haven't had the right words to express that.View Thread
It isn't just if we have sex, sometimes she'll be uncomfortable/itchy/irritated throughout the day.
And I don't start anything, because I don't know how she is feeling. I feel like I've lost my touch, because I never start sex of any kind anymore.
Just last night, which is why I joined this site to ask these questions, I got into bed to go to sleep, then about 15 minutes later she comes into the bedroom and gets on top of me. She starts kissing me, and I pretty much said no. I don't really know why. I have never in my life said no to her before, but last night I was upset for some reason when she came to me.
It has been 9 days as of today since we had sex. I started to get grumpy and moody on saturday the 18th. Then yesterday throughout the day I just kind of accepted the fact that I wasn't going to have sex that night, then out of no where she wants me.