I was involved with a man for for years. We were a couple.. He is 45 years old never been married and no children. I had a concern about that when I first started seeing him. He is/ was a very good guy in most ways. But...... When he would get upset or mad about something he would need time to cool off, not a normal time frame of calling off, it would be days, weeks, sometimes months. In the beginning of us dating, he got mad at me cause I did not tell people we were dating, when I really didn't know what we were doing , he hadn't kissed me, or acted like we were dating, we were friends and hung out a lot together , no intimacy, then once we were actually dating an a short time had went by he got mad cause he had been mad at me about something and I went to a neighbors party and he accused me of going there to be hooked up with some guy.... Then we worked through that, then he got mad that I wasn't ready for him to meet my mother. That time after he had bugged me about that for a while, he got mad and didn't talk to me for a few weeks, till I went to him and tried to talk.. So over a four year time span, he kept doing this, don't get me wrong he did a lot of really nice things also and had a lot of good attributes. But every time he would get upset about something he needed to walk away and cool off he said, some was trying to accept that about him, I called it his cave time, but it was always something else, didn't have to be major. He would fly off the handle at the smallest things. We are not together anymore, but I am hurting badly cause he blamed me for everything. He was never wrong, never sorry, never apologized, I couldn't ask him questions like how is your day, cause he worked a regular job and farmed , and if I asked him that between things, he would get mad and say ask me at the end of my day. Anyway we broke up for a long time, and then started tailing as friends, but then he would do things like hold my hand or kiss me, once in a while, but then he still got mad about little stuff and wouldn't talk to me for days. I always ended up going to talk to him. This last time, even though we were just friends, he was remodeling his bathroom and had no shower and he had worked till 930 pm and had been showering at his moms, so I offered to him that he could come to my house to shower and he blew up at me and said I was being disrespectful to his mother, offering that because what would she think cause she knows he cant shower at home, I replied I thought if your moon is like mine she us sleeping, I was trying to be thoughtful of his. On and he was yelling at me, and I replied your 45 years old so if you want to shower somewhere else, think your mom would know...he could have just nicely said thanks for the offer but my mom will worry or something if I don't show up but he went ballistic on me. I told him I felt he had anger issues and I did not deserve to be talked like that and I thought he needed to get some help with his anger issues. Have not heard from him, which is normal, but it hurts still that he thinks he is never wrong,.,,,,,,,View Thread
Nothing now that we are not together. But when we were together there was alot of good but lots of anger too, unneccessary anger. Just trying to get through this and heal.
If I didn't mention this I believe his anger is due to unresolved grief as he lost three brothers to death, two in two separate car accidents when he was a child and another brother to cerebral palsy, and then the father left the familyView Thread
Just wanting opinions, I have been diagnosed with PTSD from his anger outbursts, he accepts no responsibility for his anger. It was a great relationship most of the but also really bad at the the many many times if his anger Outbursts about many trivial things. I communicated very well, he could. It communicate with out yelling, his only positive communication was verbalized through songs.View Thread
My expectations to high, when he got mad all the time, in between all the good stuff and would walk out to cool off for weeks or months, I know what it says about me that I loved him, but I also tolerated to much from him, I don't know what your talking about needing him so much..the things he got mad about were if I made decisions on my own about my farm, if I liked to be told I look nice.View Thread