Jeune1 :- Couples Coping Support Group -: Support Group

My spouse has always had problems with PE and a few years ago he also developed ED. I...

Posted by Jeune1

23 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Yuck My spouse has always had problems with PE and a few years ago he also developed ED. I...

Reply: Yuck

1a. Fair enough. 1b. I don't get it. I'm talking straightforward physical attraction in this...

Posted by Jeune1

23 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Yuck 1a. Fair enough. 1b. I don't get it. I'm talking straightforward physical attraction in this...

Reply: Yuck

s_3_k - You could well be right, in part. I don't make gagging noises when he gets undressed...

Posted by Jeune1

23 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Yuck s_3_k - You could well be right, in part. I don't make gagging noises when he gets undressed...

Reply: Yuck

q - It's been that way since we started dating (about 20 years ago). Does five minutes or...

Posted by Jeune1

q - It's been that way since we started dating (about 20 years ago). Does five minutes or less count? Although I've been doing some research and it appears two minutes or less is the more accepted definition. I guess it's just not what I'm used to and he always seemed embarrassed by it so I'm guessing it's not what HE was used too, either. In doing some research last night I read that a man may have no problems with one sex partner but consistently experience PE with another. So maybe it's me? No idea what to do about that. We've tried your suggestion before (I read about it somewhere) and I can say it doesn't work for him, unfortunately. I did not know about those condoms though, so thanks for the tip. I also completely agree about the weight-related yuck factor.

d - Thanks for asking that, it made me think. He's a great person, I really care about him, I would rather poke out one of my eyes than hurt his feelings. But I admit the sex issue has had a huge impact on how I feel about him. We're now in our mid-40's so, yes it would be 19 years we've been together. When we first started dating we BOTH thought it would be a short term relationship (we met out of town and I was planning to move soon). Then I told myself it was because he was sick. Then I thought (when we were mid-30s) that any day now I'd be too old to want to have sex. Yeah, what did I know? But it means I just feel fond of him. I don't expect to have hearts and flowers coming out of my ears for him after all of this time, but I should feel something more than bland affection, shouldn't I?

Due to his health history and his family health history he's had full work ups, has to see the doctor for lab work on a regular basis (mainly cardio and endocrine) and I know he's spoken to his doctor about the ED, had the testosterone test, even had a DRE to see if he might have an enlarged prostate. Not sure if he's asked about the PE. He hasn't had a test to specifically test the ED though. (Like the postage stamp test.) The doctor has given him pill samples (First V and then C). My spouse won't get a prescription filled. At first he said because they're expensive and when I offered to buy them (kind of ha, ha, early birthday present). Then he said they gave him a headache, which I understand is a sign its boosting his bp a little too much. So no more of THAT. I'd much rather do without than risk his health.

I have approached it from the health angle because that seemed the least hurtful. Thanks for the confirmation that it was a good approach. He refuses to see a specialist, like a urologist, about it, even though our insurance would cover it. He doesn't have time he says. OK, fair enough. I should say I know this must be very hard for him (no pun intended). I know I sound like a whiny btch. But I intend to go the distance with him and it's not looking like there will be much fun in the sack on this trip.View Thread

Posted byJeune1

23 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Yuck q - It's been that way since we started dating (about 20 years ago). Does five minutes or...

Jeune1

Latest Activity