About two weeks ago, I did the thing I regret most in my life. I cheated on my fiance. It was just kissing. But a lot of intense kissing. I barely remember this, as I was heavily intoxicated. My fiance and I are living 2 hours apart currently, which is partially why I think it may have happened. The other "man" A is a co-worker, who I had always found physically attractive and "nice", but I didn't think he took our "work-flirt" relationship seriously. I know on some level I knew what I was doing; I was having a party when A started texting me, and I invited him over knowing that I found him attractive and that I was lonely. But, honestly I am not used to attention from the opposite sex so I didn't really think anything would come of it. And I certainly didn't want anything physical to come of it. Long story shortened, I told my fiance the following morning and drove to him the evening after that to talk. He is a little angry. Mostly because he and I had been texting about how much we loved eachother that night. He kept checking in on me as he was leery about A coming over. Also, our relationship started when I cheated on my ex with him. This situation is vastly different, however, because I already was in the beginning stages of love with my fiance when things happened. He said he forgave me, but recently took his forgiveness back. He needs more time. I guess I was just wondering what I should do to help him learn to trust and forgive me. He still loves me, still wants to marry me, still wants to be with me, and honestly has taken things quite well. I just want to know how to help him feel better. I will feel guilt forever, I know. That's a part of who I am. I just don't want to push him away by trying too hard to make him trust me again. For now I just tell him I love him a lot and am not drinking in "mixed company" when he is not around as per his request ( which I think is totally fair). But is there more I could do?View Thread
We are not religious, therefor are not having a religious ceremony...additionally we will not be getting married for a few years yet...need to get more settled first. I would be ok with him coming to therapy with me or going alone....I've considered asking him to go with me in the past over some other issues. He has seen counselors before for his own issues, but I don't know how interested he would be in going back.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't told him. I feel like by telling him I was partially unburdening myself. He didn't and doesn't deserve the pain of knowing. My mother even told me not to say anything. I just know that I would want to know...and I don't want secrets from him.View Thread