Oh no, I like him fine. He's a good guy other than he has some voyeuristic tendencies. I like him, but not the act of spying on me. Anyway, I just feel like I have zero privacy. I struggle with anxiety and depression on occasion and I recently started a journal on my computer and I feel like I can't truly write in it because I fear he is logging what I'm writing. There isn't anything bad in there, but when my mind starts racing, I just want to spill it all out so the next day I can read and see how crazy it all sounds. It's like having someone reading your thoughts.
The first coincidence involved me telling a girlfriend that I didn't understand why he carried all his dirty dishes into the kitchen and then left them on the counter rather than putting them in the dishwasher. The very next day, he stopped doing that and never did it again. Most recently I had written a blurb to a girlfriend, in an attempt to empathize, that my husband was doing a great job helping me out (I had back surgery) but he never asked me how I was feeling or how the pain was. The next day he started asking me how I was feeling. I could tell it was awkward for him since we are both shy and it just seemed very unlike him. I deleted that blurb from the email so he didn't just read the email or hear it from her, but it is possible that a draft was saved and it was sent through a network packet sniffer.
Anyway, I have talked to him about this and he denies it. I guess I should have mentioned why I thought it each time. It doesn't add up which is why I am confused. I think he just likes to spy on people. We have some security cameras at our office and he watches them all day and gets a little too excited over catching people using the dumpster illegally or something.
So I was just wondering what other people would do now. Do I confront him again and mention the specific reasons I believe it? Do I just forget it? He either doesn't trust me or he gets some thrill in watching what I'm doing. Either way, I'd prefer it stopped or that he would at least talk to me about it rather than sneaking around. It makes me not want to trust him. He never exhibits any possessive behavior and he never ever gets mad about anything. In fact, I often feel like he's too laid back. Perhaps he is overly confident because he knows he can just spy on me and find out what I'm doing later.View Thread
I'm about 99% sure my husband put a keylogger on my PC. I had once seen remnants of an installation many years ago that he said he had uninstalled but there have just been too many coincidental things that have happened since then. If he would admit to it, I would forgive him. If I find it myself, I may just leave him for blatantly lying to my face for years and thinking I'm too stupid to figure it out.
I've scanned my computer up and down with every scanner known to man (we're both software engineers by trade). The problem is that he may have written one that no commercial virus software would ever find.
I don't have access to our domain controller or network devices but the last thing that happened was regarding something I typed and deleted so I think it would have to be on my PC for him to trace that. What would you do? He keeps denying it and says he doesn't know what to do to make me trust him. However, if you typed out something very specific to a friend in email and then you deleted it, only to have your husband comment on it the next day, wouldn't that make you feel pretty sure he read it somehow? What if that happened 3 times? Sometimes I feel paranoid but, geez, it seems so obvious to ignore.
I have now installed a well known key scrambler to block what I'm typing in most cases. Not because I have anything to hide, but just to spite him. That is only a small comfort though. We're hardly ever apart since we work together. I don't know when I would be doing something he doesn't approve of!
Anyway, I've asked him multiple times and he swears up and down there is nothing there. Maybe I could trap him somehow? I haven't actually cited the 3 coincidences to him so perhaps that is the way to go forward. What should I do because this bugs the heck out of me?View Thread