Her depression is a contributing cause to your situation. Many men have these thoughts. It is what you do with them. Most men regard these as fantasies and can use them for masturbation. What you are going to do depends on what kind of person you are. If you are honest and loyal and feel guilty when you do something wrong, you won't cheat. I don't consider fantasies or masturbation cheating. It's a way to make you feel better about your life.View Thread
I view the female party as art. I like curvy bodies and fit bodies, real bodies. Men seem to like large fake breasts and that is probably the more is better mentality.
Regarding his like of very muscular women, I believe it is approaching a fetish. I don't think it is a matter of what he considers beauty, but fantasies of making love to a physically dominant female. Despite your physique, he might get really turned on if you started getting verbally, sexually and physically aggressive with him. I'm not talking about any physical harm.View Thread
I understand where you are now. At some point you will be ready to move on.
You can figure out the relationship yourself. What is he looking for? What are you looking for? You have made the effort to please him. What does he do to please you? Can the relationship become more balanced?View Thread
Cheating as a behavior modification technique, ...interesting.
A man's interest in sex is almost a biological imperative, women not so much. Many women have very little interest in sex and consider it a necessary evil at the beginning of a relationship. The key is to chose a mate who loves sex and hope there aren't physical changes that change that. A woman who doesn't masturbate is a warning sign to me.
Your wife may have undergone a physical change that increased her sex drive independent of your actions.
If I were a woman, I would do whatever it took to bring pleasure to someone I loved. If I wasn't getting pleasure out of it I would work with my husband to try to figure it out. Many women do this. Some women consider their body off limits and begrudgingly supply some accommodation.View Thread
"I've come to the conclusion that I may have to spend the rest of my life alone. I love my kids, but they are no replacement from a loving intimate relationship."
If you can't fix your current relationship, there will be some point where you can extricate yourself from it. When you are older, you will find that there will be a lot of women around your age that are not looking for a penis. They are looking for a loving intimate relationship, even if it is short term. Things for you can be better in the future.View Thread
I wouldn't worry about your ed. Your relationship is the issue. Why is your wife treating you this way? Can the relationship be fixed? Does your wife hate sex and coming up with excuses not to have it?
Assuming you were in a position to get In a new relationship, your ed issue could be examined. Is it physical or psychological? ED meds can be a band aid solution for a more permanent solution; improved health, less stress, a good sexual partner. Assuming you were well rested and with an attractive partner who was interested, you might discover that your ED issues went away.View Thread
Same issue for you as him; getting caught. You have legitimate concerns and it makes sense to protect yourself. Getting caught stashing money could get you in trouble. You are married; community property.View Thread
First thing you need to decide is whether the marriage can be saved or is worth saving. If you are 100% sure that it can't, prepare to move on. If you are 90% or less sure and can afford it get marriage and individual counseling. Since he has shown some interest iin improving things, whatever the reason, get him to agree to marriage counseling.
I can make a lot of guesses about why he is acting the way he is. The key issue is at some point communciation broke down or was never there in the first place. You can think about what attracted him to you. Mistakes were made and the more you know about yourself, the less likely you are to repeat them. He has a lot more serious issues to deal with like betrayal and not opening up to you when something is bothering in. Drinking is always a bad signView Thread