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The biggest thing about therapy is finding the right therapist.
Be prepared to have a session with multiple therapists until you find one that you can both work with.
You and your husband should have specific goals from counseling and the counselor should be on board with the goals and should state what they plan to do. You want to stay away from finger pointing but it's tough to advise someone when you don't know the history. You can express the concern and hear the counselor's response.
I don't know the past but I imagine there are books that discuss issues that you may have and are concerned about forgiving.View Thread

We try to not have any debt other than the mortgage where the interest is tax deductible. I have never considered trying to payoff the house. I've had cheap rent and built equity over a long period of time.
I will have a modest retirement income and won't be able to afford to live in the house we have. Even if the house was paid off, maintaining it would be too expensive. I have enough equity to buy a lesser house in a less expensive area for cash but maintenance is a big issue. Yard maintenance, a new roof, kitchen and bathroom remodeling are all expensive.View Thread

I don't know of many women who increase their level of sexual activity unless they are finding it very enjoyable.View Thread

1. Will he be happy being monagamous?
2. How is the rest of your relationship?
I am heterosexual and love women's bodies. I would enjoy having multiple partners,but I am married and being monagamous is a big part of that. I haven't looked at porn in over a decade, but do check out the SI swim suit pages.View Thread

I prefer the soft feel of a woman's inner thigh. My wife has PTSD and when I touch my wife's breast or move my hand to close to her crotch she gets upset except when making love and then she enjoys my touch greatly. We were taking a nap and my hand was touching her outer thigh. She said "don't move your hand", which I heard as move your hand. She went on to say "it feels electric and wonderful". I moved my hand to her inner thigh and she sighed deeply and went back to sleep. My wife often asks me to rub her back. After a while she removes her night shirt. She says the rubbing through the fabric is irritating.
Many women today prefer not to wear panty hose and stockings because it makes them feel uncomfortable. Like everything else in a marriage it involves compromise.
View Thread

We always don't get what we want. I have a very high sex drive and a wife who is fantastic in bed. I can't even fantacize better sex. Unfortunately my wife has PTSD and lovemaking can be months or years apart. We have a a very loving relationship.View Thread

My mother was the baby of a large family and use to being spoiled. She was used to being the center of attention. I knew this and wasn't damaged by it. I just accepted her for who she was. One day she showed up at our house to complain that she wasn't getting enough attention from us. My wife told her to go home and she didn't see her grandson for a few years. She learned her lesson. I completely agreed with my wife's action.View Thread

Once someone gets married, their number one priority is their spouse, even after they have kids.View Thread

Sure I felt pressured. It was an ultimatum.
My girlfriend was the perfect date. We had a lot of fun and were honest with each other. Unfortunately she had health issues and was on permanent disablility. Not a person to have the house and kids with. My wife to be was a peer at work and much healthier.
For me to have feelings for someone, I need to know them for a while. My wife to be moved in with me for a year before we were married.
I have always been very affectionate, but not much on the emotional side. If I found myself dating again, I would be content with mutiple casual relationships as long as they were based on honesty and muutal self respect.View Thread

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