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Sorry for the rambling. Coming on here somewhat opens the wounds, especially today, as it the OW's birthday. I am sure he is just itching to make contact, even though he denies it. Thanks again for the contact. I will try to pay it forward with the reader.View Thread


We are a cow-calf and dry land farming operation, so going into our busy birthing season. It will be a good distraction and keep us working together. I am also an office manager in a busy medical office, so the plate is full. A good full though. I have been going to bed every nite with soothing musical therapy, and I think it helps my husband too!! The warm bath is where my bad flashback blew up on me last week, so it may be awhile before that happens again. I do much better when we are joined at the hip, strangely enough. This is such a surreal situation. My husband seems to have come out of the bizarre fog he was in during this affair, and is really trying to reconnect and work thru this. I am the one dragging my feet at this point. I just cannot see very far into future and believe that I can get over this situation and forgive. Weirdly not so much the affair itself, but the choice of OW he made and the emotional commitment they gave each other, and took away from me.It just cuts too deep from both directions. I know I need alot more time, as you guys have mentioned, but you sure feel stuck in quicksand alot. Guess I just have to lean on our history and the good years to carry me thru, and try to remember we are all human.
That therapy center sounds really interesting. I have been thinking about getting into a Yoga class but I may be alittle too raw emotionally right now for that setting. You will have to let me know how that goes.
I thank you again for your support and very helpful insight. I have a great team of family and friends helping me thru things, but we have so much emotional junk to deal with!! I am so glad you don't know any of the players in this ordeal, and can just give me the info & advice you have shared.View Thread

I don't think we went into counseling too soon, I just think it will be tough no matter what.
Unbelievable happening the other day. The OW sent me a text last Thurs, saying she was probably the last person I wanted to hear from, but she was in LasVegas and remembering what a wonderful time we had last year when we went on our last girls trip, that she was sorry I got hurt, and hoped my heart was healing. Can you believe that one!!! No ownership of her part in this, and obviously no understanding of the depth of damage the two of them caused. I swear she believes our friendship will survive this!! Man that sent me into a tailspin. It has been a rough week, but I must say my husband stepped up to the plate with supporting me. After that text, I had a weird episode of bad flashes of images of the 2 of them, like I was in a room while they were together. It was like it was really happening, which makes you think you are going crazy, and sends you back to square one. I told him I don't think I can do this, and felt maybe we should try a separation, and he really talked to me and worked us thru it. Very out of his normal character. We saw the counselor today, and talked in depth about everything that happened. It was very helpful, and she really put some things in perspective for me. I cannot let that woman get me to that place again.
My health is normally very good, but I am really battling HBP issues that I cannot get a handle on, and stomach ailments, probably neither one a surprise! I am working on finding a calm place, and some balance, but those quiet times are when the demons really hit you, so a bit of a catch 22. I love to read, but cannot seem to find the focus to get back to that either. What a mess. We are getting busy on the farm again, which is my happy place, so we will see if that will work its magic, along with my beautiful granddaughter. Thanks for listening to my rambling.View Thread





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