My WebMD Sign In

Please enter email address

Enter your password

Keep me signed in on this computer

Show more Information

If you select "Keep me signed in on this computer", you can stay signed in to WebMD.com on this computer for up to 2 weeks or until you sign out. This means that a cookie will stay on your computer even when you exit or close your browser which may reduce your levels of privacy and security. You should never select this option if you're using a publicly accessible computer, or if you're sharing a computer with others. Even if you select this option there are some features of our site that still require you to log in for privacy reasons.

Forget your password? Having trouble signing in?

Why should I
sign up for WebMD?

With a WebMD Account you can:

Track your way to weight loss success
Manage your family's vaccinations
Join the conversation

See more benefits Sign Up

Why WebMD?

My WebMD

Show Menu

Facebook Twitter Pinterest

WebMD Home

Couples Coping Support Group

If you need a place to discuss, get feedback, or some advise on relationship, ... more

I had to vent, can I also get advice?

I think I better mention I'd like to think I'm an open-minded woman. I'd like to think that...

Posted by theorie

I think I better mention I'd like to think I'm an open-minded woman. I'd like to think that I can reason with and talk myself down from a lot of my emotions- they tend to hit like a tornado - little warning, often leaving behind a disaster that's difficult to recover from...

I'm also a 27-yo with a lot of bedroom experience. (Yes, this is unfortunately relevant.)

He's 27, works at fast food 30 miles away from our super-rural home. When I met him, he was a 20yo virgin that could barely speak to anyone, much less girls, because he had such terrible self esteem.

Though we don't technically have an open relationship, I'm bisexual, and we've had a fling with another woman before... nothing I felt threatened by, y'know?

On to the trouble... he's been flirting with a girl he works with (barely 18). Too young even if she is mature. My rule is that nothing can happen without me being there, not even kissing. One point of that rule - and making sure potential bedmates know it - is to ensure there isn't much chance for an emotional attachment to grow that I don't see. I worried I'd not be comfortable with it. Suddenly I'd no longer be the "cool" wife that let things like this happen in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it too... that time.

Such an insecure wreck I've been... let me back up a little.

We took her to her home when she didn't have a ride a few nights ago. This was the first time I'd seen the girl. She is thinner than me, has larger breasts, knows how to apply makeup, and has the cutest giggle. I'm attracted. She wanted to kiss him without me there, but did it in front of me... I saw it right away, later to be confirmed vocally by both of them. They have fallen in love. Not lust. Love.

My husband and I used to talk about finding a girl to add to the family, sort of like Aiel sister-wives if anyone gets the reference. I like the theory well enough, but now that we have reached this point, I find myself unable to cope with the diversity of my emotions, I can't even keep a meal down. I guess that could be good for losing weight, but I digress...

My husband says he doesn't want to lose me, and he will put a stop to this if I want him to. That's just it. I can't ask him to stop this. It has to be her decision, because there isn't much I hate about myself more than the jealousy that wants to fire up at odd moments. I don't think I would mind if they didn't already have such a strong emotional bond, if I was on a level playing field with him or there was any room for me in it. I don't believe she is bi-curious in the slightest, as the few kisses I stole from her were decidedly awkward, nothing compared to the fire I saw in them. THEIR relationship has nothing to do with me. I'm certain that for wanting to give him the same joy he has given me, I'll end up allowing it to continue in the same vein. Without me, like she wants.

What's wrong with me?

Why can't I let him do the right thing, and end it? I told him, "Not because of me." Though I was shivering with dread when I said it. I don't want to be that jealous woman, and aside from internalizing what I feel about it (not healthy, as our relationship is built on honesty), I don't know how else to NOT be jealous and still have him know that I would go to the ends of the earth to make him happy. She is young, lovely, charismatic, everything I am to him and more. My only advantage over her is proverbially slim - we have kids and history.

I fear I've set myself up to compete with another woman rather than have another simple fling. I don't have the fortitude for this. I'm already in agony, and I can't even make myself tell him that because he deserves the ego boost and I love him too much! I cry when I'm alone, I throw up, I feel numb... I hate myself.

What can I do besides leave so he can have what he deserves?View Thread

Posted bytheorie

Take the Poll

Do you guys get where I'm coming from here?

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:I had to vent, can I also get advice? I think I better mention I'd like to think I'm an open-minded woman. I'd like to think that...

See Related Sex & Relationships Communities

Couples Coping Support Group

See All Communities

Women's Health Newsletter

Find out what women really need.

Other Member Communities

Dieting Club: 10 - 25 Lbs Member Community Share Your Tips and Support!
Caregiving Member Community The Support and Understanding You Need!
Parenting Friends Talking Member Community Get Support from Members Like You!

The opinions expressed in WebMD User-generated content areas like communities, reviews, ratings, or blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. User-generated content areas are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service, or treatment.

Do not consider WebMD User-generated content as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.

Couples Coping Support Group

See All

Preferences

My Communities

My Discussions

My Email Digests

theorie

Latest Activity

Take the Poll

Poll Results

See Related Sex & Relationships Communities

Women's Health Newsletter

Other Member Communities

Health Solutions From Our Sponsors

More From WebMD:

Find us on:

Couples Coping Support Group

See All

Preferences

My Communities

My Discussions

My Email Digests

theorie

Latest Activity

Take the Poll

Poll Results

See Related Sex & Relationships Communities

Women's Health Newsletter

Other Member Communities

More Related Communities

Health Solutions From Our Sponsors

More From WebMD:

Find us on: