Judy, I'm a guy and I feel for your situation as well as your husband's. I was in the same situation. The thing I didn't realize was that I wasn't always satisfying my wife first before I came, so i'm sure there were many time that I finished before she came and so she probably felt cheated or used to some extent although she never told me. If I was her I would probably have thought that I was very self centered and uncaring, but I didn't realize she hadn't cum. It took me over 30 years to figure that out. I made changes recently, and now spend much time with oral and my fingers gently on/in her to bring her up to orgasm first or at least on the edge before we start the next step. My wife much more enjoys sex now and we do it more often - I truly never realized I wasn't making it enjoyable enough for her. Unfortunately this stuff isn't taught in school - if it was there would be a lot more happier men and women in the world. Part of my problem was that I was a virgin when I met my wife, so I had no experience on how to pleasure a woman, also my wife would never talk about sex so I got no direct feedback about it. I would just get the usual rejection from her when I tried to initiate sex, without knowing why. Now it seems so obvious. I think another part of it is that a man almost always comes to orgasm and somehow we assume the woman does also - men not understanding that women are quite different in that regard and need more time and more build up to enjoy it and reach orgasm. Now I'm much more conscious of her enjoyment infact it's my focal point and it's been fun finding out what she really enjoys. I'm just sorry we missed out on over 30 years of a good sex life for a mediocre/ almost nonexistent one.View Thread
I imagine you take care of your urine and and feces everyday right. Sperm may not need need it that often, but pretty close - if the guy wants to stay healthy that is. I read somewhere Dr. Oz recommended 200 times per year for the guys health - about every other day.View Thread
I've been married a long time (37 years) and I can tell you from my experience that once a week is not often and the less often you do it - the less often you will want to do it. Luckily the reverse is also true that the more often you do it, the more you will want to do it. Having sex less and less often eventually leads to ED for the guy (again from my experience). My take is that it is not healthy for a guy to not have regular sex. I think it was Dr. Oz who recommended sex 200 times per year or the way I think of it is every other day. That gives the guy 2 days to recharge so to speak. I've been going through hell and highow after to get back out from my ED. I take testosterone now and Cialis and they are helping but don't make the mistake I did and let it get to infrequent. I think once a week is on the edge of too infrequent. The old saying for the guy is true - use it or lose it! Besides sex is healthy for - you both want to be healthy right?View Thread
I think his behavior is't necessarily cheating, there could just be something he wanted to do on his own.
His comment about other women desiring him could be him asking for more attention from you. Out of curiosity how often do you make love and is it on a regular basis. Some men as they get older need to feel loved more, especially if there's an empty nest - they start to feel abandoned and alone - at least that's how I felt.View Thread