Unless you and your husband were virgins, it's possible either you or your husband had herpes before you even met. Some people never have symptoms and don't know they have it. If I'm not mistaken, there is no reliable test for men unless they actually are having an outbreak.View Thread
Compare calling your wife the B word to hammering nails in a fence. Now compare your apologies to pulling out the nails. The holes are still there and unless you do some major repair (counseling), they always will be.View Thread
He may have had herpes and gave it to you as men usually don't have symptoms and usually don't know they have it. You may have gotten it from one of your partners while you were "sowing your wild oats."
Your husband is correct in that herpes can lay dormant for years which is how someone who has been 100% faithful to their current partner can still have it if a previous partner had it.View Thread
I will admit there are times when I see an attactive guy and wonder what sex would be like with him but that thought only lasts as long as he's in my field of view, Once the attractive guy is out of my field of view, he's forgotten. Honestly, I don't fantasize about other guys. I sometimes wonder what it would have been like with someone else but again, those are fleeting thoughts and either don't last long or only pop up when DH and I have had an arguement.View Thread
You'll know. I asked DH who left his ex in 2001 how he knew and he said you just know. It's different for everyone. Sort of like your pain threshold, what may knock someone else to their knees will cause you to just shrug and vice versa.
DH has also said once his kids got over being angry at him for not saying good-bye (he knew his ex would cause a scene so he left while she was at work), he noticed they were happier and more relaxed. Kids know when their parents aren't happy and can feel the stress in the house. If the parents can at least be civil and friendly toward each other, that's one thing but from what you've posted about your wife, that isn't happening.
Yes, it will be hard. Yes, you'll feel guilty. Once the dust has settled, unless you are being truly selfish (you're not), you will see it was the best thing. It may take weeks, months, or years to come to that realization but it will happen.
One person cannot keep a marriage together; it takes two.View Thread