If he was sincere about repairing their relationship and staying together, then the separation would have been a wake-up call. Not that it should have been USED as a wake-up call per say, but that if he really did not want divorce it should have opened his eyes to the fact that their relationship had taken a beating and was in serious, possibly irreparable trouble.View Thread
You knew about their disabilities and the living situation before you married your husband. It seems like you didn't realize how cramped the quarters would be until you actually moved in.
That having been said, there is nothing wrong with setting boundaries. You HAVE to communicate!! I agree with your husband that hiding of the food is wrong, you have 2 kids with disabilities that probably find food to be a great comfort to them (understandable, given their situations)....
You really need to have a family meeting and sit down with them and put firm boundaries in place, and it can all be discussed and worked out amicably, hopefully. Best of luck!View Thread
Remember that forgiving doesn't mean forgetting..you are making a conscious decision to forgive him and accept him back into your life, but you will never forget what has happened.
What's important now is how you deal with it emotionally. Of course you're hurt...being separated for a MONTH after 31 years or marriage doesn't give one the green light to have sex with another woman. If you are 100% committed to the two of you working together to save your marriage, then I think the others are right that getting some counseling for yourself to deal with your pain is crucial.
I wish you both the best, and hope that you are able to reconnect and repair the hurt.View Thread
I know it seems like an impossible hurdle right now, and being pregnant and more emotional than usual does not help, I know.
Queston is right, your husband needs to realize that your request was not unreasonable, you made plans, and you had every right to assume he'd stick with the plan. To EXPECT him to stick to the plan.
I know it's hard for some people when they leave home to get into the mindset that their parents don't "boss" them anymore, for lack of a better term. My husband experienced it and there were things that would make me very upset the first few years we were married. Moving away from her was the best decision we ever made, honestly....we only lived 1/2 mile from her, and she expected him to jump at her every whim. That's not realistic when you're married. He has a life with you, and while he shouldn't cut his family out of his life just because he's married, you (and soon the baby) have to be his first priorities.
If you haven't already, you need to have a serious discussion about how this all makes you feel. Just try to stay calm and state your position without becoming argumentative, and I also agree that if you have a pastor or another mentor that you could both talk to, that would be GREAT. Sometimes it just sounds clearer coming from someone not directly involved.
First, I want to tell you how truly sorry I am for what you've been through.
Now. In most cases I believe that infidelity is grounds for divorce. However, it seems that your husband had a huge reality check and started wondering why he was being so stupid. You need to be sure you do not place the blame on the friend, as your husband is a grown, married man, and the one who committed his life and repeated his vows to you. While the friend sounds like a dirtbag, this lies on your husband. Not the friend, not the other girls.
The friend didn't "let things happen". Your husband let those things happen. No one else. I know people who behave like the friend....but I make a conscious decision to NOT be like that. KWIM. We all make mistakes but I'm particularly concerned that you and your husband have been married such a short period of time and he's already done something like this..?
I've never had to work through an affair, so I don't have any advice as far as how to do that. I do know that this decision to stay in your marriage is YOUR decision, and none of us can tell you otherwise.View Thread
I think more of the question I had for the OP was if she was letting her mind wander in a serious way when it comes to members of the opposite sex. Is it hindering her sex life with her husband, affecting the way she sees her husband?
To the OP:
We don't all have 20-year-old bodies forever.View Thread
I don't think *everyone* notices people of the opposite sex in that way. Sure, it's easy and natural to see someone and quickly determine whether or not you think that person is attractive. Like I might see someone and say, "Oh, she's so cute! I like her hair" or "I love that man's shirt/he has great hair" etc. But to assume that everybody walks around checking people out in a sexual manner on a regular basis (and that those who don't admit to it are lying) is not accurate, IMO.View Thread