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If you need a place to discuss, get feedback, or some advise on relationship, ... more

Reply: insecure about his estranged wife

I think IC nailed it as to why she reacted the way she did and confronted you. I recall that...

Posted by Aqua14

7 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:insecure about his estranged wife I think IC nailed it as to why she reacted the way she did and confronted you. I recall that...

Reply: Question for those who have divorced...

I'm a lurker on this board; I got flamed once here and haven't posted since. But I'll chance...

Posted by Aqua14

I'm a lurker on this board; I got flamed once here and haven't posted since. But I'll chance posting here to offer my thoughts, since I have now been divorced for 4 years (was married for 21 years) and also have a teenager at home. Hopefully you'll find my perspective somewhat helpful, or at least give you some things to consider. (And I hope that I'm not flamed again for chiming in.)

I suspect that knowing when it's time to "throw in the towel" in a marriage is different for everyone.

I hung in during 8 years of major problems, also thinking towards the end of that 8 years that I should keep the marriage intact until my son was in college. But then something occurred that made it clear to me that I couldn't and shouldn't sacrifice myself any more, and that my son was being affected. Doesn't matter what happened; I'd reached my breaking point and after that, I was done.

During that last 8 years I would often talk to my friend, a divorce lawyer, about the tough choice of whether to divorce or not. I was mainly worried about the impact on my son. I wanted my son to have a father participating full-time in his life -- that was very important to me. So I went back and forth for years, always choosing not to do anything. But once the straw broke the camel's back the choice to divorce was clear and seemed necessary. I still think it was the right choice for me and for my son, although I'm sad that I had to make that choice.

I read that your father recently passed away, and I'm sorry to hear that. (I can probably relate to how you may feel, since my mom passed away last year.) I read about your wife's lack of support to you, which is sad and disappointing and might be causing you to think harder about divorcing.

The last thing I will say is, it's tough to stay in a bad marriage, but there are also challenges when you get out of a bad marriage. It can be lonely; there's no guarantee that you will find a compatable long-term date for companionship. It's just a difficult choice.

Take care.View Thread

Posted byAqua14

9 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Question for those who have divorced... I'm a lurker on this board; I got flamed once here and haven't posted since. But I'll chance...

Reply: Big huge giant discussion/turning point in my life...

For you to come here and make condescending remarks about a group of people that has put so...

Posted by Aqua14

88 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Big huge giant discussion/turning point in my life and such For you to come here and make condescending remarks about a group of people that has put so...

Reply: Big huge giant discussion/turning point in my life...

Well -- and my apologies to the OP for this off-topic post -- in this thread there seems to...

Posted by Aqua14

88 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Big huge giant discussion/turning point in my life and such Well -- and my apologies to the OP for this off-topic post -- in this thread there seems to...

Reply: Big huge giant discussion/turning point in my life...

No, I don't think there's any way he will realize that there's anything wrong with his...

Posted by Aqua14

88 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Big huge giant discussion/turning point in my life and such No, I don't think there's any way he will realize that there's anything wrong with his...

Reply: Big huge giant discussion/turning point in my life...

The low self-esteem is a part of the narcissism. From Wikipedia: [Narcissistic...

Posted by Aqua14

88 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Big huge giant discussion/turning point in my life and such The low self-esteem is a part of the narcissism. From Wikipedia: [Narcissistic...

Reply: Big huge giant discussion/turning point in my life...

You really need to have your own set of car keys, so that you could've just driven yourself...

Posted by Aqua14

88 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Big huge giant discussion/turning point in my life and such You really need to have your own set of car keys, so that you could've just driven yourself...

Reply: Big huge giant discussion/turning point in my life...

Wow. Yay -- good for you! That took a lot of courage to say all that. You're really a lot...

Posted by Aqua14

88 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Big huge giant discussion/turning point in my life and such Wow. Yay -- good for you! That took a lot of courage to say all that. You're really a lot...

Reply: Update after counseling

Love the suggestion to start living your life without letting him control you. In one of...

Posted by Aqua14

24 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Update after counseling Love the suggestion to start living your life without letting him control you. In one of...

Reply: How should I react

I'm a lurker on this board, so excuse me for adding my 2 cents' worth out of the blue. He...

Posted by Aqua14

80 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:How should I react I'm a lurker on this board, so excuse me for adding my 2 cents' worth out of the blue. He...

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