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What does it take to get through to you that this is what YOU want, not her. In your very first post you said that she told you that what you wanted was gross to her....TAKE A HINT. This is obviously something that you can't get past so maybe you need to decide if this is the woman for you.
My advice would be to leave your wife and go find that porn star that you think will make a great wife because the woman that you are married to right now, she isn't ever going to be what you want her to be in your mind.
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If she says you're not romantic, you try to grab her crotch, you tell her you want her with other men, and you continually talk about women in your past, maybe you should stop trying to re-live your past and listen to what is going on.
My guess, you turn her off. My ex husband use to grab my chest constantly. He would also ask my to perform oral (he didn't say it like that of course) at least twice a day. After a while of dealing with his inability to be a mature, tactful man, I began to get disgusted by him. The thought of sex with him was a turn off.
If he had just listened to me, rubbed my back without trying to cop a feal, asked me if I needed anything when he would get up, layed in bed and talked to me for a few minutes without groping me, I would have been much more receptive to having sex.
What the women of your past thought of you or felt for you is irrelivant, if it mattered they would still be around. You should try to focus a little more on your marriage, your wife and your current role in why your sex life isn't where you want it to be.View Thread

I understand that it's fun to turn 21 and go out and enjoy that age but I think you have to remember that isn't the life you chose. You chose to have a baby and a fiance, a family. I do think you can have a family and still go out with friends but you can't say that you need to experience being 21, your 21 is different from a 21 year old without a family waiting for them at home.
Going out once a week with friends isn't a big deal either but why does it have to be every Saturday night at a club? Why can't you all meet for dinner during the week occasionally?
You can dance and cut loose with your fiance, just find a place where the two of you can do that together, you don't have to have alcohol to do that.
You also say you only have one more year; one more year for what? Until he turns 21 and then turns this around on you? My prediction for when he turns 21 is that he will expect you to stay home with your son so he can go do what you did when you turned 21.Do you think he will just forget about all the time he spent alone on Saturday nights and want you to go out with him? Just from the brief story you told here, I don't think he will.
I think you are trying to enjoy something that you should have enjoyed before having a baby and a fiance. I had my son at 18 so I do speak from experience. If my dbf wanted to leave me at home with the kids every Saturday night I wouldn't be too happy about it either.View Thread

I love little things, my dbf does them for me all of the time. However, in my mind; suggesting a party then giving that suggestion to you and his mom to plan is not doing a little thing for you. It was a suggestion of something you should do for yourself with no effort on his part to make it special for you.
You are changing yourself to become someone that you are not. You are giving up on what you want to make him seem like he is the perfect fit for you. The fact that you want romance but you are going to tuck that need away and pretend that it doesn't matter just so he can focus on other things is not fixing anything.
I am begining to realize that what you see as him making progress sounds more like you changing who you are for the sake of your marriage. In the end, you will not be a happier person and I fear you will be even more lonely because you aren't even going to know who you are anymore.
Regardless of what darlyn thinks because I could care less, I feel a lot like PI, I don't think I can continue to read this thread anymore. It just seems very self destructive.View Thread

I guess I really ought to focus on the fact that he did suggest it.
I have to tell you that if you look at everything this way, nothing will ever change. You can't continue to push what you want to the back of your mind and be happy with the teeny tiny things that he does because you think he made an effort. Sometimes we want what we want and we have to be willing to admit and say; what you did for me wasn't enough, thanks for trying but I need more!
Stop settling for the little things. Take ownership of your needs and wants and hold him accountable to give them to you. Don't pick up the party planning book and do it for him. Go to him, tell him that you are not planning your own party and if he doesn't plan it with your mom then he should cancel it. Tell him the thought wasn't enough, you need some actions.
You are a great woman for trying so hard and having so much patience. Don't end up making the situation worse by letting him think that what he is doing is enough. Be up front, be honest and don't settle for less then what you want. Trust me, what you want is not much and if he can't give you this; he won't give you a lot more once you give up on trying to change him.View Thread

You are committed to him and willing to give him time to change and I do see something very commendalbe in that. I can see that you have no doubt that don't want to divorce before giving him the time he needs so I will support that decision. There is lots that we don't see so if you are seeing progress then maybe he really is making some.
Don't give up on romance. If he is willing to fight for this marriage then he should be willing to hear what you need and work to improve it. Show him what you want and tell him what you want until he understands. Tell him that XX weekend you want him to take you on a date that he plans. See what he comes up with.
I really do see that you are determined to give this time to work so I do hope that things keep getting better. Good luck to you and your husband.View Thread

I wish you the best.View Thread

It is hard to balance mom and dad time and baby time but to keep your family strong and healthy both of you need to put your relationship as a more important focus.
Maybe if you could let us know more about your situation it would be helpful to all of us. Everyone here has asked some great questions.View Thread

It's sad because you want to say that you would love to go to a funeral of one of their loved ones and do the same thing to show them how it feels. But, as decent, respectful people; most of us would never do that.
Those are the people that make me wish people were still drafted into the military.View Thread
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