C-19 and I have been friends for a couple of years now. We've talked a lot about the things he spoke of here, as well as other issues. I have absolutely no doubt at all that the things he talked about were true.
It's really disheartening to know that the people he was so supportive of were -- and apparently still are -- so willing to believe the worst of him. You've always been one of the least judgmental people on the board, so I was surprised to see that you're one of those who thought he was lying in his posts.
I don't remember if you said anything about me or not, but thank you for the apology.View Thread
I have to say that C-19 is one of the best people I know, and I have a lot of admiration for how hard he works to overcome the things that have happened to him, and for the compassion he has for other people.
He was incredibly supportive to the people here. He always gave long, thoughtful replies to posters who were having a tough time. When he told me several months ago that he thought people still thought he was a fake, I told him I was sure that wasn't the case because he had been such a big part of the community. It's really depressing to find out otherwise.
This is making me wonder if people still think that he, Kelseyshayne and I are all fake, or the same person. I don't want to know the answer.View Thread
MCK, it still seems like you may be going back and forth about leaving your husband -- you don't sound quite as determined to do it as you did a week ago.
You are a special person. You're compassionate, forgiving, talented, self-aware, determined, interesting and brave. No matter how much you want it to be different, or how hard you work at it, or how much you try to make him see he should be a better person, your husband is never going to deserve you and you are always going to deserve better than him. He's the person he is and, while you may succeed in getting him to make small improvements, there's very little chance that he's going to ever turn into anyone else.
I hope you'll finally see your own value and realize it's being wasted on the man you're married to. You have the capacity for such a happy, fulfilling life, but he's always going to try to hold you down.View Thread
It breaks my heart to hear you say that about C-19. We started emailing each other not long before all that happened, and we've talked a lot about the things that have gone on in his life since then, and he wasn't making up anything. He's had a really rough life, including being sexually abused by a relative and, except for his parents and brother, he has a really screwed-up family. His ex-girlfriend's family is even worse. He got her son away from an abusive situation and is still sharing custody with her -- he and his parents have been the only stable influence in the kid's entire life..
Unfortunately, I think it's just the nature of boards like this to have blowups every now and then. Things usually calm down after a day or two and it's pretty much back to normal. It's probably the same as when people spend a lot of time together in real life -- sometimes, you just get annoyed with each other over something, and then you put it behind you.View Thread
I understand about not being able to get away together, and it bites. My husband and I had a business when we lived in Virginia, so it was really hard for us to get away at he same time, too. We tried it once for four days and it was a total nightmare. We had a couple of employees that we thought would be able to keep things under control, and it was like their brains blew up while we were gone. They totally fell apart and all of the other employees followed. The only time we could take off at the same time was when we closed for a week between Christmas and New Year's.
We were lucky, though, that we've never had a problem with separate vacations (we do also go places together), so he could take time off to go to the Bahamas with friends, and I could visit my parents in Florida or my best friend in England.
It would be really hard for me to be with someone like your boyfriend who doesn't need time alone!
Do you think he would be reasonably OK with you just taking one night to yourself (at least to begin with)? I agree with you about staying at a hotel alone and ordering room service -- to me, there's not much better in life than that!
I think that most relationships go through the kind of doldrums you seem to be in now. Maybe part of it is worry about your son, and part of it is that you and he can't get away together.
Could you and he make plans to get away for a weekend without the kids, so maybe you can reignite some of the romance? (But still try to get a hotel night to yourself sometime, too.)
Hope your kids are better, and that you and BF don't get sick.View Thread
He left the same time I did. We were both completely crushed and, badly as I was attacked, he got it ten times worse. He has posted occasionally since then, but doesn't even lurk much any more. He's usually ignored when he does post. It used to be so much fun to have him here -- he gave really thoughtful, insightful advice and he was funny, and often started thought-provoking threads. The poster who started the attack on us had an ulterior motive in trying to make him look bad, but C-19 is too good a guy to ever post about it.
His house was ruined in the floods, as was his mother's, so he and his animals and son moved to a new place. His father, who is, I think, 51, was just diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's. He's still working full-time, going to school and taking care of his son.
I really miss him here, but I understand why he's leery about coming back.View Thread
Steph, that is SO not true. I only remember saying that twice, and I really did think you were being mean both times. I don't think you always realize what a terrible effect your harsh words can have on someone who's already down.
Do you remember when a then-regular poster started a horrible thread a couple of years ago, making all sorts of wild accusations about C-19 being Kelseyshayne and saying that I probably wasn't real, either? I was completely shocked when most of the other regulars jumped in and started saying awful things about C-19 and me, and ridiculing and mocking us. I was sitting here in tears, with my hands shaking. I had offered so much support to everyone in the time I'd been here, and treated everyone with respect, and all those people were being incredibly cruel.
When I posted about how stunned and hurt I was, a lot of people apologized (although I don't think anyone ever apologized to C-19, and he got it much worse than I did). I'll never forget, though, that you said you were sorry my feelings were hurt but you weren't going to apologize for joining in and making fun of me because it was so funny. I left the board then for a few months (not because of you -- because of everyone), and have put it behind me, but every once in a while, something makes me think of it again. I was completely devastated by that, and your comment was like twisting a knife in my back.
I know you're not a mean person, but I think that your strong opinions occasionally make you insensitive to other people's feelings (and, as I've said before, I'm not the only person who has said this to you). I don't think that's the case all of the time or even most of the time. I know you've offered a lot of people a great deal of support and good advice.View Thread