Ugh- I understand how you feel. For the most part, SO is ready to go so to speak. He usually gets a quickie in the morning before work.
However, there are times I want more time and the focus more on me. And maybe 3/5 times he will reject me or fall asleep etc. I dont think it's me per say just the circumstances. Tired after work; has something to do, etc
(((HUGS))) Your advice made me want to cry. LOL. In a good way
I feel that this whole situation has me soooooo stressed.
I think a lot of it is, that maybe I dont think I could do a good job. I think the age difference btwn us is intimidating. She is going to be 13 and I am going to be 31. I dont feel like a mom of a child that old. I am just nervous about being mature enough to handle a child of her age. What if I make things worse for her? What if we do it and it's horrible for all of us? But I also think, what if we do it and it's the best thing ever.
Part of it too is that I feel like not too long ago I was a single mom raising my son and now I have a ring and am about to be a wife and step mom and maybe have more kids to take care of. It's freakin scary. LOL.
I know when I speak openly, I sound like a selfish person. However, what I feel is truly what I feel. But that doesnt mean I dont have an open heart to accept that she could live with us and be fine.
I guess part of it too is that my fiance and I are moving so fast and it just feels like ahhhhhhhhh this is a lot of change. If I could just stop adding more to it, I would right now, ya know?
I know if it was my son and the other way around, I would do anything to make him happy. And I wouldnt respect my fiance, if he didnt do that for her.
I guess as a kid of divorced and remarried parents, I never thought to live with my dad. It was never an option for me. I just knew that my mom had custody and that is who I lived with.
I think that we do have a strong relationship and we just need to keep communicating.
I think too he needs to show me more that he would be an involved dad in the day to day stuff. When he has weekends with the kids, he is a great dad. But like I said in the original post, we have this routine, where he does work crazy hours and is gone from the home a lot. So to me, it would be me raising her. So isnt this a decision that I should have a say in? If I am going to be doing 75% of the raising her when she is in our home? That I think is my biggest concern.
Sorry I am just kind of rambling. I cant tell you enough how much your posts make me feel better and feel like I can do this. I want to do it. I had a great step dad (he passed away in Feb.) and I have a great step mom and I want to be a great step mom to these kids.View Thread