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Couples Coping Support Group

If you need a place to discuss, get feedback, or some advise on relationship, ... more

Reply: Hard times

I am so sorry that your son has to grieve the loss of this father. Grief is hard. I...

Posted by moonbeamgarden1

17 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Hard times I am so sorry that your son has to grieve the loss of this father. Grief is hard. I...

Hi Steph

Sending good thoughts your way - I hope your kids are better and that you and your...

Posted by moonbeamgarden1

15 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Hi Steph Sending good thoughts your way - I hope your kids are better and that you and your...

Reply: Hi Steph

My intention was not to open the whole arguement again and have the exchange again....

Posted by moonbeamgarden1

15 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Hi Steph My intention was not to open the whole arguement again and have the exchange again....

Reply: Hi Steph

Sounds like something is going on mentally with him - he's just not telling you....

Posted by moonbeamgarden1

15 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Hi Steph Sounds like something is going on mentally with him - he's just not telling you....

Reply: Crazy?

I think the issue you need help with is your depression. Your depression is making...

Posted by moonbeamgarden1

17 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Crazy? I think the issue you need help with is your depression. Your depression is making...

Reply: Pre-nuptial

Ok, this guy has problems with control of money. It's something you guys should...

Posted by moonbeamgarden1

27 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Pre-nuptial Ok, this guy has problems with control of money. It's something you guys should...

Reply: Pre-nuptial

I think this is an opportunity for you both to think about what your life is going...

Posted by moonbeamgarden1

I think this is an opportunity for you both to think about what your life is going to look like and how you want it to go. I don't think you should approach this topic in anger just b/c he brought it up in an off the cuff way. This is something you should both really think about.

The fact is that half of marriages end in divorce, so thinking about how you would handle that is not a bad thing. In fact it is a good thing. Addtionally, having a prenup is not a bad thing, it can be a good thing. However, think about what you sign and make sure you get your own attorney. It might give your BF something to think about too. He's basically asking a women to not have a "real" career, stay home and raise his kids as long as he is happy. Once he is unhappy he gets to walk away. Hmm. Not really fair. Now, in all honesty, he is also saying that he has a career that could potentially offer you a much higher standard of living than you could afford on your own, based on your level of education and chosen career path.

You really need to think about what that means for you, your relationship and your long term career goals. It might mean that you guys decide that once you get married, everything you aquire from that day forward would be "split 50-50. Once you got divorced he might pay for the family home until your youngest reaches 18 and then you sell the family home and split the equity. It means that he doesn't want to pay allimony to you. If that is expected, then you might want to consider going back to school, getting your RN and always working, even if it is part time just so you never loose your skills. If you know the deal ahead of time, and it is ok with you, this is not a bad thing.

If however, he expects you to be a stay at home full time mom who entertains his boss at a drop of a hat and he never expects to lift a finger at home because he works hard at work; then you might want to think about what you would think is "fair" for that scenario. He should think about it too.

Again, these are real life scenarios that you should address straight up and discuss. He might not realize what he is asking of his future wife and when he thinks things through he might see a better way.

Good luck!View Thread

Posted bymoonbeamgarden1

27 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Pre-nuptial I think this is an opportunity for you both to think about what your life is going...

Reply: Mother day is coming up.

Steph - you have young kids, so your Dh has to pretty much step up to make your day...

Posted by moonbeamgarden1

15 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Mother day is coming up. Steph - you have young kids, so your Dh has to pretty much step up to make your day...

Reply: Mother day is coming up.

I don't think you are responsible for making your wife happy on Mother's Day;...

Posted by moonbeamgarden1

15 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Mother day is coming up. I don't think you are responsible for making your wife happy on Mother's Day;...

Reply: O/T Opinions

I know you don't like your job, but there are very few jobs out there right now....

Posted by moonbeamgarden1

17 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:O/T Opinions I know you don't like your job, but there are very few jobs out there right now....

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